Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend, whom I haven't heard from in a whole month,... - FML

By howaboutno - 14/03/2013 09:02 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend, whom I haven't heard from in a whole month, turned up at my door because it was apparently "steak and blowjob day." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 523

You deserved it 8 697

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 13/02/2015 22:49 - United States

Today, after a week of not seeing each other, my boyfriend asked if he could come over and hang out. He only came because he ran out of food at his house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 142

You deserved it 3 607

By Anonymous - 02/10/2010 13:04 - United States

Today, my boyfriend called me over for dinner. When I walked in the door, he asked why I was here; apparently he dialed the wrong girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 955

You deserved it 3 174

By stillhungry - 27/06/2015 18:37 - United States - San Francisco

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend called me while I was at work. He sounded very excited and told me he had a surprise for me. He doesn't usually do this kind of thing, so I was excited. When I came home, I found him naked, with "Bone Appetite" written right above his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 522

You deserved it 3 983

Surprise!

By Anonymous - 19/03/2023 16:00 - United Kingdom - Newcastle

Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by showing up at his place unannounced with some take-out food. I got there just in time to see him leave his block of flats with another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 087

You deserved it 114

By fuckadaisical - 06/12/2013 20:23 - United Kingdom - Pontypridd

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend's idea of foreplay was to offer to make lunch, leave the room for a few minutes, then come back with no clothes on and offer me a "cockmeat sandwich". FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 435

You deserved it 8 901

By blink_kid - 10/08/2012 12:57 - United Kingdom - Bathgate

Today, my boyfriend, who lives 100 miles away and whom I haven't seen in 2 months, told me he was visiting my city with some friends. I assumed this was an opening to an invitation, but no, he just asked me about the best places to get drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 694

You deserved it 3 233

Awkward

By notmyfam - 09/09/2016 07:47 - Australia - Chester Hill

Today, my boyfriend stood me up. At dinner with his parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 591

You deserved it 1 042

By Anonymous - 14/03/2011 19:16 - United States

Spicy

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 960

You deserved it 14 588

By yes i meant ex-boyfriend - 18/01/2014 21:09 - United Kingdom - Derby

Today, my boyfriend took a day off from work because he felt "sick". I thought he might come see me since he hadn't come over in a while. Nope, he went to hang out with his ex instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 419

You deserved it 5 814

By Willow - 17/06/2011 23:32 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend told me why he stood me up last night instead of coming over to visit. Apparently me telling him I couldn't wait for him to do naughty things to me turned him off, and made him feel like a piece of meat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 129

You deserved it 11 775

Next

Top comments

your_ma 27

Thursday 14 March 2013 16:42

Eh how is he still your boyfriend anyway when you haven't seen or heard from him in a month?!

TeamKelly 10

Thursday 14 March 2013 16:40

Time for a new boyfriend...

Comments

GuinnessGirrrl 8

Thursday 14 March 2013 17:59

Tell him it's "Slam the Door on your Ex-Boyfriend Day"

phamous 1

Thursday 14 March 2013 18:06

Did you let him know,that you were fresh out of steaks?

Faff 20

Thursday 14 March 2013 18:42

*********

AngryToaster 3

Thursday 14 March 2013 18:07

you should have told him "how aout no?"

pcgeek92 5

Thursday 14 March 2013 18:08

A month ago was Valentine's Day. I figure its a YDI if you continue to call this clod your "boyfriend". Have him put a raw steak on it and send him on his way.

thew_fml 14

Thursday 14 March 2013 18:08

when i first told my gf about steak and bj day a couple years ago her response was "what kind of steak do you want for that?" she's a keeper

DirkDigglerlol 0

Thursday 14 March 2013 18:12

YES! it is in fact "steak and ******* day! "

RtardSupport 2

Thursday 14 March 2013 18:13

Oh crap.. I hope last night didn't count towards the ******** part today...

anyoldnamewilldo 23

Thursday 14 March 2013 21:07

depends....was it after midnight?

dr_snow_bear 29

Thursday 14 March 2013 18:14

Bite his **** off and grill it?

Ziggy122 15

Thursday 14 March 2013 18:18

Hand him a raw steak and tell him it's "Go Blow Yourself" day.

Faff 20

Thursday 14 March 2013 18:33

you should've told him to find a dick to suck on then.

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Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work Jealousy My ex Health Accident ADHD Medication Weather Snow Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Am I overreacting? Relationship advice Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts

The Top

Today, I found out that my grandson is actually my stepson, my son is his half-brother, and my soon to be ex-husband impregnated our son’s wife, who’s a third his age. Yet somehow my slimy ex is the victim in all this because our son beat him to a bloody pulp while I did nothing to stop it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 564

You deserved it 93

Today, my longtime crush, who turned me down because he’s “sick of women”, just got into a relationship. He made it Facebook official, with photos of them and everything. Wanting to even the score, I commented, “So it seems your sickness of women is cured, huh?” He bitched at me for “ruining his moment” and deleted me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113

You deserved it 1 034

The Top

Today, I got a speeding ticket in the mail, at the same time as my car was getting towed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 328

You deserved it 210

Today, we were playing a game at work where whenever someone is in the washroom, we throw a 2 inch lug nut at the door because it makes a huge bang and scares whoever is in there. I was just opening the door to exit when someone threw the nut. It hit me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 788

You deserved it 28 765

Today, my girlfriend has yelled at me multiple times for saying sorry too much. It's involuntary, due to me constantly being told I never do anything right growing up by my parents. She knows this, and is even then one who helped me realize this, and still yells at me for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 010

You deserved it 169

Today, I had to sit through an entire conversation where my sister and her boyfriend sent voice messages to one another, of their farts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 690

You deserved it 2 214

Today, I was cashiering, and a customer's change came to $5.51. She looked pretty stinking rich, so I just gave her $5.50. She demanded the extra penny, and I asked if she really needed it. She said, "No, but they do, asshole," and dropped her $5.51 in the charity donation box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 621

You deserved it 120 285

Today, my professor snapped and told me that I know nothing, that everything I've ever learned is wrong, and that all of my former teachers should be shot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 789

You deserved it 5 046