Intimacy: Today, my crush and I were hooking up and as he slipped his hands...

By tinytitty - 23/03/2009 03:18 - United States

Today, my crush and I were hooking up and as he slipped his hands up my shirt in order to "feel me up" he started rubbing around my whole torso. When I asked him what he was doing, he replied, "Well I was looking for your boobs but… apparently you have none." FML

I agree, your life sucks 104 398

You deserved it 9 263

Carnival of Disasters
Dive into carnival, where hilarious costumes meet unexpected mishaps. Laughter is guaranteed, mask or no mask! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Second base?

By armtits and big pits - 05/04/2014 07:14 - United States - Cape Coral

Today, I went to my crush's house. We were watching a movie when suddenly he started kissing me. As it deepened he began to feel around. He was groping my armpit the whole time but I was too embarrassed that my underarm could pass for my boobs to redirect him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 392

You deserved it 8 342

By Anonymous - 15/03/2010 05:41 - United States

Today, I started hooking up with a guy I've liked for a while. We got pretty into it and he went into my underwear, looking confused. When I asked him what was wrong, his response was: "I can't find it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 690

You deserved it 5 068

By Anonymous - 23/12/2010 04:35 - United States

Today, I was hanging out with my crush and wanted to see what he thought of me. Instead of asking him straight, I tugged at my shirt, saying ''I don't know why I wear this top. I always look awful in it." He said, "Are you fishing for a fat joke?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 627

You deserved it 45 523

Sexy talk

By cheekymonkey97 - 24/10/2016 16:48

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend whilst straddled on top of him. He started to undo my bra. I was fine with this but he stopped kissing me and looked at me with a slight smile. He then said, "I know this is going to kill the mood... but I feel like I could milk your boobs right now" FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 561

You deserved it 1 520

A little higher, dude

By Anonymous - 04/04/2022 14:00

Today, I was laying in bed with my boyfriend. He started caressing me, his eyes were closed, and he said, “I love touching your boobs.” Which was actually a roll of fat on my stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 080

You deserved it 527

By miapapaya - 15/02/2009 21:44 - United States

Today, I was hooking up with a guy for the first time and he told me I was in luck. When I asked why he replied, "I like little boobs." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 355

You deserved it 6 674

Last act

By Anonymous - 29/11/2019 20:00

Today, while making out with my boyfriend of a month, he started rubbing my boobs. He told me that he wanted to get some action before he broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 185

You deserved it 277

Making plans

By nowsingle - 03/07/2010 04:04 - Canada

Today, while making out with my boyfriend of a month, he started rubbing my boobs. He told me that he wanted to get some action before he broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 012

You deserved it 5 803

Dirty talk

By unlucky_number13 - 14/07/2009 09:41 - United States

Today, my crush came over and we began to fool around. He started to kiss my stomach, and just when I was getting into it, he pulled away with a disgusted look on his face, wiped his mouth, and said, "We'll continue this when you get rid of all your bellybutton lint." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 915

You deserved it 62 748

By Anonymous - 27/04/2013 04:11 - United States

Today, I was getting ready to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It seems he thought I was a much larger cup size than I really am, because when he saw my actual boobs, he said, "Aaaaaaand they're gone". FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 666

You deserved it 15 431

partake_fml 2

Monday 23 March 2009 12:26

Yeah, so what? Do the same with his dick/muscles.

kingnor 0

Monday 23 March 2009 13:11

do you have small boobs? what was he expecting, they'd be bigger underneath your shirt or something. Small boobs are hot, don't waste time with a guy who won't appreciate them.

Comments

Bubs_fml 0

Monday 23 March 2009 20:26

13...drink more milk? For breast size? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I don't know if you're being sarcastic or a complete idiot, but you just made my day!

pumpkincakes 3

Monday 23 March 2009 20:34

Small boobs are better than fake :], btw when people are saying you cant keep your normal body size and have big boobs is a lie i have a 28inch waist with 30E boobs and im 16 and theyr real, theres still hope for you that way

acc093 0

Monday 23 March 2009 20:36

wow a lot of you are idiots.. how is she supposed to "grow some ****"? boobs arent meant to all be enormous. and this guy really is messed up..even if you have small boobs, how can you not find them...? wow

laleona 0

Monday 23 March 2009 20:36

bahahahah

Bubs_fml 0

Monday 23 March 2009 20:40

#53: Yeah, not trying to act like a doctor or like I seriously know how it works, but one of my girlfriends had basically no boobs when I started dating her and had low C's within two months and she didn't get chubby or anything. Perhaps the hormones just got flowing or something. 28 inch waist and 30E? E?!?! That's epic.

emxoangel 0

Monday 23 March 2009 20:41

bullshit, what guy would say that. and if he did he's an asshole. or i bet it went something like this, "What are you doing?" "trying to find yoru boobs" but he left out the "you don't have any part." You just added that in to look cool on FML.com

pumpkincakes 3

Monday 23 March 2009 20:42

#56 lmao yeah, i had my back size wrong which messes up the cup size (yeah i didnt know that), thinking i was a 34B for 2 years and then got measured and was like WOAAH, i love it haha

Ashora 0

Monday 23 March 2009 20:48

He could have been making a completely non-serious joke, even if you don't have big boobs. I seriously doubt a guy would care so much as to ruin the moment by saying something like that in a serious manner. To all the people saying "dump him, he's a jerk", stop jumping to conclusions on something you know nothing about.