Intimacy: Today, my crush and I were hooking up and as he slipped his hands...

By tinytitty - 23/03/2009 03:18 - United States

Today, my crush and I were hooking up and as he slipped his hands up my shirt in order to "feel me up" he started rubbing around my whole torso. When I asked him what he was doing, he replied, "Well I was looking for your boobs but… apparently you have none." FML

I agree, your life sucks 104 387

You deserved it 9 259

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Second base?

By armtits and big pits - 05/04/2014 07:14 - United States - Cape Coral

Today, I went to my crush's house. We were watching a movie when suddenly he started kissing me. As it deepened he began to feel around. He was groping my armpit the whole time but I was too embarrassed that my underarm could pass for my boobs to redirect him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 373

You deserved it 8 333

By Anonymous - 15/03/2010 05:41 - United States

Today, I started hooking up with a guy I've liked for a while. We got pretty into it and he went into my underwear, looking confused. When I asked him what was wrong, his response was: "I can't find it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 686

You deserved it 5 066

By Anonymous - 23/12/2010 04:35 - United States

Today, I was hanging out with my crush and wanted to see what he thought of me. Instead of asking him straight, I tugged at my shirt, saying ''I don't know why I wear this top. I always look awful in it." He said, "Are you fishing for a fat joke?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 623

You deserved it 45 515

Sexy talk

By cheekymonkey97 - 24/10/2016 16:48

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend whilst straddled on top of him. He started to undo my bra. I was fine with this but he stopped kissing me and looked at me with a slight smile. He then said, "I know this is going to kill the mood... but I feel like I could milk your boobs right now" FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 551

You deserved it 1 517

A little higher, dude

By Anonymous - 04/04/2022 14:00

Today, I was laying in bed with my boyfriend. He started caressing me, his eyes were closed, and he said, “I love touching your boobs.” Which was actually a roll of fat on my stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 075

You deserved it 523

By miapapaya - 15/02/2009 21:44 - United States

Today, I was hooking up with a guy for the first time and he told me I was in luck. When I asked why he replied, "I like little boobs." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 347

You deserved it 6 672

Last act

By Anonymous - 29/11/2019 20:00

Today, while making out with my boyfriend of a month, he started rubbing my boobs. He told me that he wanted to get some action before he broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 179

You deserved it 275

Making plans

By nowsingle - 03/07/2010 04:04 - Canada

Today, while making out with my boyfriend of a month, he started rubbing my boobs. He told me that he wanted to get some action before he broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 004

You deserved it 5 803

Dirty talk

By unlucky_number13 - 14/07/2009 09:41 - United States

Today, my crush came over and we began to fool around. He started to kiss my stomach, and just when I was getting into it, he pulled away with a disgusted look on his face, wiped his mouth, and said, "We'll continue this when you get rid of all your bellybutton lint." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 912

You deserved it 62 739

By Anonymous - 27/04/2013 04:11 - United States

Today, I was getting ready to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It seems he thought I was a much larger cup size than I really am, because when he saw my actual boobs, he said, "Aaaaaaand they're gone". FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 658

You deserved it 15 428

partake_fml 2

Monday 23 March 2009 12:26

Yeah, so what? Do the same with his dick/muscles.

kingnor 0

Monday 23 March 2009 13:11

do you have small boobs? what was he expecting, they'd be bigger underneath your shirt or something. Small boobs are hot, don't waste time with a guy who won't appreciate them.

Comments

IamSoIndy 0

Tuesday 24 March 2009 1:37

why do guys always say "grow some ****" seriously, dont you think flat chested chicks would do that if they could? its not that easy

zebraaa 0

Tuesday 24 March 2009 1:39

Oh shit. That's harsh. :/

Cre6rul 0

Tuesday 24 March 2009 2:15

i agree with number one but after squeeze till his head explodes

a_z_0_9__fml 0

Tuesday 24 March 2009 2:17

she deserves it for wearing such a padded bra (otherwise he would have been able to tell she was flat)

crazyme123 0

Tuesday 24 March 2009 2:40

i like # 1 and 2 thats pretty cold #86

sarahh24789 0

Tuesday 24 March 2009 3:06

uhhmmm to commenter # 7 you need to be a little more sensative, maybe the guy was really nervous. stop being so biased

courtgirl263 0

Tuesday 24 March 2009 3:33

i agree w/ #1... just go 2 suck his dick and be like 'ooh... i couldnt find it'

KPACOTKA 0

Tuesday 24 March 2009 5:19

heheh thank GOD I don't have that problem... I use my boobs every ******* time i can to get places...

paulinaaasaid 0

Tuesday 24 March 2009 5:51

i understand how you feel haha. and ditto with #83! besides id rather use by brains than my boobs to get what i want im happy with my little anthills! ahaaha but agreed with #1.

ashleyy_fml 0

Tuesday 24 March 2009 6:24

HAHA #8 But yeah, that definitely sucks you didn't find out he was a douche before you hooked up. And I'm not understanding how he wouldn't realize you had small boobs before he tried that. It's not like it's an optical illusion when you have a shirt on and it makes your boobs look nonexistent, but you really have DD's, haha. Unless you were really padded bras. What a dickk.