Miscellaneous: Today, my father informed me that I was born only because my... - FML

By unfortunate - 30/06/2013 04:45 - United States

Today, my father informed me that I was born only because my mom lied about being on birth control. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 150

You deserved it 3 195

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 16/11/2009 00:52 - Canada

Today, I found out that I'm going to be a mother. This was a mystery, since I take birth control and use condoms all the time. Or, at least, it was, until my mother admitted to swapping my pills and poking holes in my condoms so she could have a grandchild before she died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 130

You deserved it 4 187

By crakbbyaparently - 31/01/2009 01:34 - United States

Today, my old man told me that he only married my mom because she convinced him she was pregnant with his child. In fact, she aborted a week later. "And then we had you instead." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 839

You deserved it 1 891

By Anonymous - 11/05/2011 17:32 - Canada

Today, I found out I was born as a result of someone switching my mom's birth control pills with Tic Tacs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 141

You deserved it 4 221

By verycre8tive - 21/05/2009 07:31 - Romania

Today, after a few drinks my dad decided to tell me the story of how I was born. He wanted a baby girl after my brother, and mum didn't want any more children. So he tricked her by giving her the wrong pill. That should explain a lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 628

You deserved it 2 728

By Anonymous - 17/01/2016 07:26 - United States - Blair

Today, I found out that the only reason I'm alive is because my dad beat the living shit out of my mom to stop her getting an abortion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 293

You deserved it 1 896

Busted

By Anonymous - 25/03/2009 20:40 - United States

Today, my mother asked me if my boyfriend and I were getting serious. I quickly lied and said no. She then informed me that if things ever heated up, she would take me to get birth control. Wanting birth control, I confessed. In turn she grounded me. I'm not allowed to see my boyfriend anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 701

You deserved it 28 883

By hail - 27/12/2018 20:00

Today, I told my parents I was pregnant but don’t know who the Dad is. My Mom said “that’s alright, I still don’t know who your dad is”. So apparently my father isn’t my real Dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 868

You deserved it 1 205

By my honest father - 10/07/2013 16:33 - United States - Kansas City

Today, while having a serious talk with my father, he said, "Son, you're only alive because of a faulty, off-brand condom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 063

You deserved it 3 748

Thanks for sharing your inspiring story, Dad

By Anonymous - 16/02/2024 23:00

Today, my dad told me quite bluntly that, while he loved me, he never planned to have me. My mom baby-trapped him by sabotaging their birth control methods, and my existence ruined his life irrevocably and caused the functional alcoholism he has suffered with for 40 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 683

You deserved it 112

By ellabellabooboo - 22/03/2015 02:27 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I mentioned to my mum that one of my friends is pregnant. She decided I was lying, that I'm the one who's actually pregnant, and that I'm going to get checked out by a doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 283

You deserved it 2 681

Next

Top comments

naxeeb 33

Sunday 30 June 2013 16:09

I don't know why he found the need to tell you that. My condolences OP :(

abcdog123 16

Sunday 30 June 2013 16:13

Atleast you know your mom really wanted to have you. Some people are complete accidents in both sides :p

Comments

russello_10 3

Sunday 30 June 2013 22:20

Same story with me

boshbish 14

Sunday 30 June 2013 22:53

What a shock it must be to find out that a lot of people were an accident(!) As long as your family love and support you the what does it matter?

Treveyon56 14

Sunday 30 June 2013 23:09

I know how you feel. My mother told me I'm only here because of a broken condom. :(

ssscolors3 9

Monday 1 July 2013 0:11

hey my dad told me the same thing....

timss4 19

Monday 1 July 2013 1:10

...So? Lol I don't get how this is bad at all...

doraaa01 7

Monday 1 July 2013 1:23

OP you were a wonderful surprise :) my mum told me the same thing (except I was conceived with pill and condom used) but was told only as I got older as an example of how easy children can be conceived but she has always said I was a wonderful surprise that she loves no matter what. Think of it like that :)

gurding 15

Monday 1 July 2013 1:34

If you're feeling down, there's a pill for that

worldclassrager 39

Monday 1 July 2013 2:13

You worn't aborted is the bright side...

SuzyTurquoiseBlu 25

Monday 1 July 2013 2:20

My twin sister and I were born because my parents we too stoned, drunk and stupid to think about condoms... And because my aunt talked my mother out of an abortion. Meh, I don't hold it against them. We were all young and stupid once.

TogeBara 12

Monday 1 July 2013 2:53

Just because he didn't plan you doesn't mean he doesn't love you OP. Cheer up

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The Top

Today, I woke up from a night of serious depression, drinking by myself at home, to find a USB stick wrapped in plastic up my vagina, with "Top secret" written on it. There was nothing on the stick when I checked. I may need to give tequila a rest and switch back to gin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 1 832

Today, yet again I had to lie to a date about what I do for a living, because every time I tell someone the truth, that I work in private equity, they have some choice words about "people like me ruining things" and "ruining the housing prices." I feel like an evil James Bond or something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 153

You deserved it 547

The Top

Today, while dining at a restaurant I heard a women choking. I immediately ran to her, wrapped my arms around her and started giving her abdominal thrusts. She freed herself and slapped me. Turns out she wasn't choking, she was just laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 673

You deserved it 34 832

Today, I realised it takes me longer to take a dump than it does to have sex with my boyfriend. I also realised taking a dump is more satisfying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 804

You deserved it 6 575

Today, at my job of 2 months, I'd taken it upon myself to water the plants around the office every day since they all looked a little sad. My boss then asked why so many of the fake plants were getting mouldy. My co-workers had watched me water plastic plants for 2 months and nobody bothered to tell me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 364

You deserved it 6 692

Today, my girlfriend, who recently started French classes, and I were having sex. Knowing how whispering in my ear turns me on, she whispered something in French, and I came. Later I found out it meant something like, "You should lose a lot of weight." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 609

You deserved it 9 063

Today, my boyfriend texted me, and asked if he could come over to 'have some fun'. Thinking we were going to do it, I freshened up. Turns out his idea of 'having some fun' is playing Doodle Jump and Angry Birds on my iPod. For three hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 443

You deserved it 9 353

Today, our outgoing boss told us about guy who's replacing him, saying he's very nice but very anal about things. Without thinking, I shrugged and said "Anal's not bad." Now everyone's calling me Anal-Girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 273

You deserved it 8 597