Today, my girlfriend asked me if I remembered what I did in my...

By sirttocs - 14/05/2019 00:00

Today, my girlfriend asked me if I remembered what I did in my sleep last night. Turns out, in my sleep, I grabbed her crotch and said, “Just making sure you’re not Shae.” Shae is her sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 263

You deserved it 526

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 15/08/2012 11:40 - United Kingdom - Chatham

Today, my girlfriend admitted she had a nightmare about having sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 379

You deserved it 3 435

By Anonymous - 22/01/2014 00:55 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I learned that my girlfriend can sleepwalk. She got up, came into the living room where I was laying back against the sofa playing video games. I wasn't really paying much attention, until she stepped on my crotch, after which she left. She doesn't remember a thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 370

You deserved it 6 204

By Anonymous - 18/10/2009 12:09 - United States

Today, I was sleeping next to my girlfriend and I turned over to the sound of her talking in her sleep. Because it was so cute, I was happy and I smiled, until she began to talk about "Troy" and "all the nasty things you can do to me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 717

You deserved it 2 578

By Dumped - 22/12/2009 07:57 - United States

Today, I was going on a date with my girlfriend. When I took her home, her sister came to the door. I used to date her sister and I didn't know they were related. My girlfriend realized this, then kicked me in the crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 113

You deserved it 11 672

By jessefonsexy. - 07/12/2010 11:08 - United States

Today, I was trying to go to sleep when I heard my sister come home from the bar. I fell asleep and woke up an hour later to see my sister squatting in my dresser drawer. I asked her what she was doing and she said "I'm peeing." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 140

You deserved it 2 772

Truth

By Anonymous - 24/01/2021 08:01 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I recently started seeing a girl and I slept over at her house for the first time. Apparently, I still talk in my sleep. This morning she told me I whispered, "I love you so much." FML

I agree, your life sucks 837

You deserved it 161

Where am I?

By Anonymous - 13/10/2008 08:25

Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend, but it wasn’t actually her. What happened last night? FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 994

You deserved it 108 950

By vadoodoo22 - 15/01/2010 05:02 - France

Today, I was chatting with my girlfriend and I asked her to give me her phone to make a call since mine was dead. A text came in from someone and the name sounded familiar. My best friend has been dating my girlfriend longer than I have, and she gave him head. I kissed her earlier that day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 008

You deserved it 3 266

By Big Baby - 28/01/2017 00:00

Today, I was awoken by my wife patting my head and talking in her sleep, asking, "Who is this? Who am I touching?" She then rolled over and farted on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 455

You deserved it 809

Turned on

By Anonymous - 06/08/2023 16:00

Today, I got home at 2am. It was dark but I heard my fiancé in the kitchen, so I went and kissed her, and grabbed both ass cheeks. Normally this would turn her on, but she screamed and turned on the lights. It was my sister. I groped my sister's ass. Why was she in my house in the dark at 2am? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 002

You deserved it 238

jbuckets_404 38

Tuesday 14 May 2019 5:32

So just how DOES OP know that's Shae's crotch doesn't feel like the gf's?

MidnaLink 33

Tuesday 14 May 2019 1:25

At… um… at least you said “NOT Shae”.

Comments

MidnaLink 33

Tuesday 14 May 2019 1:25

At… um… at least you said “NOT Shae”.

Hapaboy808 13

Tuesday 14 May 2019 4:15

nice

TxKitten79 10

Tuesday 14 May 2019 4:23

That's funny! At least you were making sure she wasn't Shae. lol

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 14 May 2019 4:38

So , even in your sleep, you know what Shae’s crotch feels like.

jbuckets_404 38

Tuesday 14 May 2019 5:32

So just how DOES OP know that's Shae's crotch doesn't feel like the gf's?

Ashamed_Sister 60

Tuesday 14 May 2019 6:35

After touching it often enough he might have some experience.

Michael Hicks 4

Tuesday 14 May 2019 22:24

Maybe the expectation was that if she was Shae, she'd hit him for grabbing her crotch; whereas GF wouldn't... That seems a bit far-fetched, but, who knows?