Health: Today, my girlfriend bought several bottles of Potassium Iodine... - FML

By radiationkillz - 21/03/2011 04:25 - United States

Today, my girlfriend bought several bottles of Potassium Iodine pills and a gas mask, due to the radiation scare from Japan. We live in Texas. FML

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You deserved it 7 289

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Same thing different taste

By ithinkimturningjapanese - 06/08/2015 08:33 - United States - Apo

Today, I was diagnosed with food poisoning for the third time since moving to this base in Japan. My husband keeps cooking questionable meat and vegetables from the commissary because he thinks the food from a Japanese grocery store is radioactive. FML

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By Anonymous - 12/02/2013 18:43 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I both developed food poisoning from last night's sushi. Our apartment has one bathroom. FML

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You deserved it 3 321

Dingdong

By SF49 - 16/01/2013 18:26 - United States

Today, my girlfriend came back from visiting her family. She'd forgotten to take her pills, and decided to "catch up" by taking almost a week's worth of birth control and prescription pills. She's fine, but I had to convince the ER staff that she's not suicidal, just stupid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 893

You deserved it 3 758

By Heavy D - 06/09/2012 13:45 - United States

Today, I was driving with my boss and she held her breath as we drove past a cell tower, because she didn't want to "breathe in any radiation." I have to take orders from this moron. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 929

You deserved it 2 019

Nuclear family

By Mudturtle - 19/12/2023 16:00 - United States

Today, I got a fantastic job offer at a nuclear power plant. My girlfriend seemed really shocked and upset when I told her. Apparently, working there will make me radioactive, and our children will be mutants. I don't know where to begin with this one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 621

You deserved it 136

By flowerman - 26/12/2011 17:56 - United States

Today, I had to drive my girlfriend to the hospital because she had a severe allergic reaction to the flowers I brought her. FML

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You deserved it 5 234

Blockages

By jakestorm - 04/09/2019 20:00

Today, my girlfriend texted me to pick her up some medicine because she’s "all plugged up." When I arrived with laxatives, she yelled at me. She meant her sinuses. FML

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You deserved it 378

By badtrip - 03/03/2009 03:21 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was packing for her study abroad program. Jokingly, I got her a pack of condoms. She laughed, saying "Oh yeah, I'll definitely need some of those." Later, I showed up to take her to the airport and saw her open suitcase in the kitchen, with the condoms on top. FML

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You deserved it 33 484

By StormSeason - 29/10/2012 12:03 - Australia - Sydney

Today, my dad watched the news and decided to start preparing for Hurricane Sandy by buying $300 worth of long-life and canned food. We live in Australia. FML

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You deserved it 2 255

You OK?

By Anonymous - 21/03/2021 11:01 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, while I was working in the drive-through at work, a lady was wearing kitchen oven-mitts and a snorkeling mask instead of gloves and a mask to pick up her prescription. FML

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You deserved it 114

Next

Top comments

delyter 0

Monday 21 March 2011 12:24

no offense but ur gf may be a retard

jmrtheman 3

Monday 21 March 2011 12:26

I hope your gf is hella hot to make up how dumb she is.

Comments

runkelsorun 0

Tuesday 22 March 2011 1:50

people buying up all of that is why people in japan are facing shortages! they actually need it and they don't have it because people in the u.s. keep buying it up

Schalmer 0

Tuesday 22 March 2011 2:12

Well, you Texans tend to be less than intelligent.

birdfreak 24

Thursday 14 April 2011 5:24

shut up I'm in 8th grade and I've made all A's since I was in kindergarten and I'm in GATE

xGraycloud 4

Tuesday 22 March 2011 2:32

I live in Texas too, but I'm not freaking out... yet.

KittenLionFace 6

Tuesday 22 March 2011 2:40

You do know that if Japan's nuclear plant does have a meltdown it means it will explode? Sending the radiation into the atmosphere which will only come down when it rains. Considering that the atmosphere doesn't stay still and travel in an easterly direction that mean the first people to experience the radiation side effects (other than japan itself) would be America. I still think your girlfriend over-reacted, but I wouldn't say she's an idiot.

volleyballchick9_fml 0

Tuesday 22 March 2011 2:41

ahahahahahahahahaajahhahahaha omg ahhahahahsh that is so funny

dftbAlexlike 0

Tuesday 22 March 2011 2:50

*potassium iodide. And it isn't capitalized.

brutal757_fml 0

Tuesday 22 March 2011 2:54

...texans. Go figure.

mexmelli13 0

Tuesday 22 March 2011 3:06

eyyyyh atexas(:

shaunM 6

Tuesday 22 March 2011 3:10

OP your gf has to be one of the stupidist people around i feel sorry for you

mexmelli13 0

Tuesday 22 March 2011 3:11

eyyyyh atexas(:

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The Top

Today, I went shopping. At the counter, the cashier started flirting with me and asked me for my number. He was cute, so I gave it to him. After walking out of the store, I got a text that said, "I didn't want to say it out loud, but your pants are unzipped." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 617

You deserved it 5 776

Today, I crawled into bed, naked, wanting to get some, and hoping to surprise my boyfriend who's always complaining that I don't sleep naked. When he finally got into bed he rolled over, touched my bare ass, and said "Oh…" then rolled back over and went to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 837

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The Top

Today, at 7 a.m., I ended up outside in a nightdress, barefoot and in the rain. I've just found out that my two-year-old son now knows how to close the patio door, which of course, has no outside door handle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 758

You deserved it 3 936

Today, while taking a walk in the forest, someone approached me and asked to borrow the knife I had clipped to my pocket. I happily obliged, assuming he just needed it as a tool. Instead, he used the knife to mug me, taking my cellphone and my wallet. I was robbed with my own knife. FML

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Today, I found out that the girl I tutored in high school in basic ENGLISH just received her PhD in Biophysics. I am now the manager of a McDonald's. I was also the Valedictorian of our graduating class. FML

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You deserved it 39 193

Today, my mom had one too many and announced to all of my friends that, if she had the opportunity, she would bang Gwen Stefani. FML

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You deserved it 4 700

Today, being a snow day, I decided to take a nice nap before resuming cleaning my room. Changed back into pajamas, climbed into bed, and found that one of the cats peed on my sheets. I've made negative progress, and had my underwear soaked in someone else's cold urine. FML

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You deserved it 1 046

Today, it’s the fourth day in a row I’ve laid in bed for hours with my eyes shut, wide awake, then watched the sun rise. All my parents have to say is, “Insomnia isn’t real. Just go to bed earlier.” FML

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You deserved it 110