Health: Today, my girlfriend bought several bottles of Potassium Iodine... - FML

By radiationkillz - 21/03/2011 04:25 - United States

Today, my girlfriend bought several bottles of Potassium Iodine pills and a gas mask, due to the radiation scare from Japan. We live in Texas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 280

You deserved it 7 289

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Same thing different taste

By ithinkimturningjapanese - 06/08/2015 08:33 - United States - Apo

Today, I was diagnosed with food poisoning for the third time since moving to this base in Japan. My husband keeps cooking questionable meat and vegetables from the commissary because he thinks the food from a Japanese grocery store is radioactive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 800

You deserved it 2 135

By Anonymous - 12/02/2013 18:43 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I both developed food poisoning from last night's sushi. Our apartment has one bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 316

You deserved it 3 321

Dingdong

By SF49 - 16/01/2013 18:26 - United States

Today, my girlfriend came back from visiting her family. She'd forgotten to take her pills, and decided to "catch up" by taking almost a week's worth of birth control and prescription pills. She's fine, but I had to convince the ER staff that she's not suicidal, just stupid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 893

You deserved it 3 758

By Heavy D - 06/09/2012 13:45 - United States

Today, I was driving with my boss and she held her breath as we drove past a cell tower, because she didn't want to "breathe in any radiation." I have to take orders from this moron. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 929

You deserved it 2 019

Nuclear family

By Mudturtle - 19/12/2023 16:00 - United States

Today, I got a fantastic job offer at a nuclear power plant. My girlfriend seemed really shocked and upset when I told her. Apparently, working there will make me radioactive, and our children will be mutants. I don't know where to begin with this one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 621

You deserved it 136

By flowerman - 26/12/2011 17:56 - United States

Today, I had to drive my girlfriend to the hospital because she had a severe allergic reaction to the flowers I brought her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 052

You deserved it 5 234

Blockages

By jakestorm - 04/09/2019 20:00

Today, my girlfriend texted me to pick her up some medicine because she’s "all plugged up." When I arrived with laxatives, she yelled at me. She meant her sinuses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 708

You deserved it 378

By badtrip - 03/03/2009 03:21 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was packing for her study abroad program. Jokingly, I got her a pack of condoms. She laughed, saying "Oh yeah, I'll definitely need some of those." Later, I showed up to take her to the airport and saw her open suitcase in the kitchen, with the condoms on top. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 298

You deserved it 33 484

By StormSeason - 29/10/2012 12:03 - Australia - Sydney

Today, my dad watched the news and decided to start preparing for Hurricane Sandy by buying $300 worth of long-life and canned food. We live in Australia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 858

You deserved it 2 255

You OK?

By Anonymous - 21/03/2021 11:01 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, while I was working in the drive-through at work, a lady was wearing kitchen oven-mitts and a snorkeling mask instead of gloves and a mask to pick up her prescription. FML

I agree, your life sucks 865

You deserved it 114

Next

Top comments

delyter 0

Monday 21 March 2011 12:24

no offense but ur gf may be a retard

jmrtheman 3

Monday 21 March 2011 12:26

I hope your gf is hella hot to make up how dumb she is.

Comments

mexmelli13 0

Wednesday 23 March 2011 2:22

eyyyyh atexas(:

cluelessblonde24 0

Wednesday 23 March 2011 3:11

is she a blonde?!?!?!

mexmelli13 0

Wednesday 23 March 2011 3:22

eyyyyh atexas(:

fmllol3 0

Wednesday 23 March 2011 4:54

lol i live i Texas and nothin happen frm Japan and lol

ShadowDracos 0

Wednesday 23 March 2011 5:02

Also, something no one has seemed to get yet: It's Iodide, not Iodine. :P

artemisrox98 10

Wednesday 23 March 2011 5:37

Oh man, this happened at my dad's work. Some people were like "OHMIGOD!!!!!11!1!" about it, even though we live in central United States. >_o

iloveloosy12 0

Wednesday 23 March 2011 6:30

paranoid to the max

s0uthpawsh00ter 0

Wednesday 23 March 2011 6:34

actually it's always a good idea to have both of those. your right down wind of that pit they dug In the side of Cheyenne mountain that their shoveling radioactive material into btw.

littlemissperfec_fml 0

Wednesday 23 March 2011 6:50

Omg I live in ca like right along the ocean! Haha. We haven't even gone that far. Love it

mexmelli13 0

Wednesday 23 March 2011 8:22

eyyyyh atexas(:

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Keywords

Family Health Argument Thanksgiving Politics Frustration Sex Intimacy Miscellaneous Love AITA Awkward First Dates Road rage Transportation Cars Dogs Animals Cute Am I overreacting? Alcohol Relatable Food Holidays Contraception Cheating Suspicious Poopoo peepee Kids Gross

The Top

Today, I was hanging out with a guy friend I hadn't seen for ages. The sexual tension was off the charts. We were making out and think were progressing, hands were roaming to both nether regions when I freaked out and blurted out, "But aren't we just friends?" We then sat and watched TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 871

You deserved it 12 859

Today, during an episode of King of Queens that my boyfriend has seen more than once, I decided I'd try to get a little frisky. I straddled him while he was on the bed and began taking my clothes of. He pushed me out of the way and said, "Don't get naked in front of the TV." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 748

You deserved it 4 499

The Top

Today, my friend told me that my brother sent her a picture of his dick. How did she tell me this? By sending me the picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 414

You deserved it 296

Today, after a long day at work, I fell asleep in my living room. When I woke up, I saw a man leaving my bedroom wearing my pajamas, and I started screaming as he casually left. The cops came and apparently he's mentally ill. He truly believed it was his house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 311

You deserved it 558

Today, I recently started seeing a girl and I slept over at her house for the first time. Apparently, I still talk in my sleep. This morning she told me I whispered, "I love you so much." FML

I agree, your life sucks 839

You deserved it 162

Today, a lady stormed into the pharmacy I work at and chewed me out because the medicine I sold her the day before gave her horrible diarrhea as a "side effect". I checked, and it was the medicine she asked for - laxatives. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 050

You deserved it 2 716

Today, I woke up in my boss’s sofa. I was covered in vomit, my head was hurting too much, and the only thing I could remember from the party the day before was that I was holding hands with my boss. I thought the story ended there but turns out I bit him on the neck, not once, not twice, but thrice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 221

You deserved it 1 094

Today, I was on a first date with a girl at the movies. Trying to be polite, I held in a fart until an intense, loud action scene came on. As soon as I let go, the scene went silent and my fart was clearly heard to everyone in the movie theatre. My date went to the bathroom. She didn't come back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 981

You deserved it 83 987