Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend shoved a Q-tip up my ass while I was brushing...

By Surprisebuttsecks? - 07/12/2011 04:39 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend shoved a Q-tip up my ass while I was brushing my teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 307

You deserved it 7 404

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Same thing different taste

By PerfectBoyfriend - 07/06/2016 16:38 - Belgium - Reet

Today, my girlfriend got pissed because she thought she heard me masturbating in the bathroom. I was brushing my teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 397

You deserved it 1 914

By Sir Vom-a-lot - 14/06/2012 16:28 - United Kingdom - West Drayton

Today, my girlfriend and I got to the stage in our relationship where she thinks its okay to change her tampon whilst I brush my teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 659

You deserved it 6 621

By i fking love docb - 04/11/2012 21:16 - Virgin Islands, U.S. - Christiansted

Today, I watched my girlfriend slowly floss her teeth, and then eat what showed up on the floss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 785

You deserved it 3 345

By Noname - 09/11/2008 09:18 - France

Today, whilst brushing my teeth, I fell asleep poking myself in the eye with my toothbrush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 689

You deserved it 13 854

By TwiceDaily,Kids - 06/04/2012 00:41 - United States

Today, my girlfriend got pissed when I told her she needed to brush her teeth more than once a day. I could smell her breath from across the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 926

You deserved it 5 123

By davincourt - 29/04/2012 18:31 - United States - Apollo Beach

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend wiping a booger off her finger and onto my lip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 282

You deserved it 3 004

By quadropheniac - 09/06/2009 16:18 - United States

Today, I walked into the bathroom and found my sister cleaning her vibrator. With my toothbrush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 128 518

You deserved it 8 108

By Anonymous - 23/01/2010 16:14 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I refused to share a toothbrush with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 843

You deserved it 6 288

By jeesh - 31/01/2009 11:48 - United States

Today, my girlfriend caught me picking my nose and eating the booger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 970

You deserved it 89 321

By slayerdeath - 20/05/2012 05:19 - United States - Valparaiso

Today, my girlfriend went in for a kiss too fast and broke my front tooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 627

You deserved it 2 547

WCARlover 34

Wednesday 7 December 2011 8:55

Your name says it all OP

jpoole 4

Wednesday 7 December 2011 8:54

It sounds like you guys are doing it wrong. Try it up her ass??

Comments

GhhOsT206 0

Wednesday 7 December 2011 9:29

Why were you brushing your teeth naked?

Miss_Trejo 5

Wednesday 7 December 2011 9:35

Ew!!

Enslaved 36

Wednesday 7 December 2011 9:37

Is it still an FML if it didn't hurt you? Lol

nousernamesworks 12

Wednesday 7 December 2011 9:39

Did ya like it?

Isoldael 27

Wednesday 7 December 2011 9:51

Maybe the FML is that OP wanted her to use something bigger... O.o

aFreedom127 9

Wednesday 7 December 2011 9:55

Hint alert...she wants to try anal. On you!

clue_me_in 20

Wednesday 7 December 2011 10:03

You know you liked it.

cocodecoeur 12

Wednesday 7 December 2011 10:04

Hahaha that's gross! But i cracked up lol

N3766 20

Wednesday 7 December 2011 10:04

Apparently she found your G-spot

missmurphtang 1

Wednesday 7 December 2011 10:13

Getting revenge for your "oops!" during sex? :p Seriously though, man the hell up. A Q-tip?! That's smaller than any shit, I'm sure you'll be fine :p

Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Sleep Work Love Dating Annoying Am I overreacting? Health Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Dogs Animals Teenagers Ironic Video games Gamers Zoom

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down my pants, touched about an inch away from my clitoris, and whispered, "Cummm" in my ear. I doubt I'll have an orgasm ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 034

You deserved it 4 250

Today, after winning a major photography competition with the prize of an expensive workshop with a top photographer, I learned that my crazy stalker has paid the £250 workshop costs, and will travel 5 hours just to be there with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 315

You deserved it 2 040

The Top

Today, my husband received the "antique" samurai sword that he bought on Craigslist with $399.99 of our money. He only shared my outrage at the waste of money when he opened the package, only to find a toy sword along with a note saying, "HAHA, TROLLED." FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 811

You deserved it 10 300

Today, my cat was yowling and meowing pathetically outside my door, I checked she had food, water, and she followed me back up to my room. She nestled down on the radiator behind my desk, then threw up all over it. The cat sick is stuck inside the radiator, and it smells just lovely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 419

You deserved it 3 436

Today, I finished birthday shopping for my husband, my son, and a close friend, who all have birthdays within a week. I was proud of myself for being organized, until I remembered: my husband has a twin sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 809

You deserved it 181

Today, it's been two weeks since someone walked into a bank in another province and showing only an RV receipt had 40k wired from my account. I notified them immediately, and was told to call back later. Then I was told it wasn't fraud, it was done in person. I will get the money back but unfortunately that's only the start… FML

I agree, your life sucks 785

You deserved it 166

Today, I came home in tears after my boyfriend admitted to cheating on me. My dad told me to sit down and tell him everything. He's pretty eccentric, so I wasn't fazed when he put on a pair of sunglasses. When I stopped talking, I noticed his mouth was slightly agape and he was snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 638

You deserved it 2 828

Today, I found a picture of my military husband kissing another woman. His excuse? It was photoshopped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 026

You deserved it 3 232

Same thing different taste

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