Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend shoved a Q-tip up my ass while I was brushing...

By Surprisebuttsecks? - 07/12/2011 04:39 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend shoved a Q-tip up my ass while I was brushing my teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 307

You deserved it 7 404

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Same thing different taste

By PerfectBoyfriend - 07/06/2016 16:38 - Belgium - Reet

Today, my girlfriend got pissed because she thought she heard me masturbating in the bathroom. I was brushing my teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 397

You deserved it 1 914

By Sir Vom-a-lot - 14/06/2012 16:28 - United Kingdom - West Drayton

Today, my girlfriend and I got to the stage in our relationship where she thinks its okay to change her tampon whilst I brush my teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 659

You deserved it 6 621

By i fking love docb - 04/11/2012 21:16 - Virgin Islands, U.S. - Christiansted

Today, I watched my girlfriend slowly floss her teeth, and then eat what showed up on the floss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 785

You deserved it 3 345

By Noname - 09/11/2008 09:18 - France

Today, whilst brushing my teeth, I fell asleep poking myself in the eye with my toothbrush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 689

You deserved it 13 854

By TwiceDaily,Kids - 06/04/2012 00:41 - United States

Today, my girlfriend got pissed when I told her she needed to brush her teeth more than once a day. I could smell her breath from across the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 926

You deserved it 5 123

By davincourt - 29/04/2012 18:31 - United States - Apollo Beach

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend wiping a booger off her finger and onto my lip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 282

You deserved it 3 004

By quadropheniac - 09/06/2009 16:18 - United States

Today, I walked into the bathroom and found my sister cleaning her vibrator. With my toothbrush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 128 518

You deserved it 8 108

By Anonymous - 23/01/2010 16:14 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I refused to share a toothbrush with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 843

You deserved it 6 288

By jeesh - 31/01/2009 11:48 - United States

Today, my girlfriend caught me picking my nose and eating the booger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 970

You deserved it 89 321

By slayerdeath - 20/05/2012 05:19 - United States - Valparaiso

Today, my girlfriend went in for a kiss too fast and broke my front tooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 627

You deserved it 2 547

WCARlover 34

Wednesday 7 December 2011 8:55

Your name says it all OP

jpoole 4

Wednesday 7 December 2011 8:54

It sounds like you guys are doing it wrong. Try it up her ass??

Comments

Lunachic91 6

Wednesday 7 December 2011 15:33

The comments would have been very different if OP was a woman.

BadKitty13 28

Wednesday 7 December 2011 15:39

EWWW ! and owwwwww !

fo_86 0

Wednesday 7 December 2011 15:41

Aaaaahahaha!!! I'm sorry but...hahaha!!!!

Herpes426 4

Wednesday 7 December 2011 16:08

Stop complaining.. Doesn't feel bad if it just slides in... Besides, it comes out easily.

xrudeboyrock 29

Wednesday 7 December 2011 16:10

what the..... what?

tjgarrick 8

Wednesday 7 December 2011 16:30

Sounds like a fake story to me

PutzRacing 0

Wednesday 7 December 2011 16:34

It's Q-tipping (as seen on Tosh.0)

thamack408 11

Wednesday 7 December 2011 16:40

hahaha datz nothin,i had 2 stop my ex gf from shovin her ***** in my butt.......atleast 5times

mikelatts 4

Wednesday 7 December 2011 16:45

Cleaning ur ears fail

Joser11 0

Wednesday 7 December 2011 16:48

Were you naked? Howd she do that without you noticing?

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I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 33

Today, my father had a dream that he'd lost me forever, and the pain was so unbearable, it woke him up. Turns out, the pain he was experiencing was just his bowels and he really needed to take a shit. This is the most affection I've ever received from my father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 031

You deserved it 3 461

The Top

Today, my girlfriend's mom and dad walked in on us while we were playing naked twister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 148

You deserved it 36 353

Today, the 75 year old blinding owner of the bar I work at called me over and told me to fire "Rachel, the stupid c**t after the next wrong thing she does". My name is Rachel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 282

You deserved it 3 932

Today, I went to drop the garbage in the compactor as I left to do some shopping. I quickly put my handbag down on the side, threw the 'garbage' in the machine, watched it do its thing, and then turned round to find... the bag of garbage on the side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 161

You deserved it 32 200

Today, while in class, I was called down to the office. The principal showed me a video of 2 guys fighting in the school parking lot. I'm accused of being one of those guys. I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 816

You deserved it 2 260

Today, while checking the men's bathroom at work, I noticed one of the air fresheners had fallen from the top of the paper towel holder into the garbage. It wasn't until I picked it up and examined it that I realized I was actually holding used urinal fresheners. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 443

You deserved it 1 592

Today, it's been a year since the girl I'm madly in love with completely cut off all communication with me. She called me crying a year ago, saying she couldn't do the long-distance, unaware I was planning on moving closer to her. Not once has she reached out, and has a girlfriend now. I think about her every night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 703

You deserved it 323

Same thing different taste

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