Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger...

By Anon. - 01/03/2011 23:51 - United States

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 615

You deserved it 91 024

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Same thing different taste

Finger wagging

By Anonymous - 16/12/2024 14:00 - United States - Edison

Today, my normally-prudish girlfriend grabbed my crotch and said, "I want you to fuck me like I've never been fucked." I obliged. She loved it, until after we'd finished, when she decided that she felt "cheap, gross, and used" and started a huge fight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 279

You deserved it 78

Are you experienced?

By Brax - 30/05/2012 09:46 - United States

Today, my girlfriend stuck her finger up my butt while giving me a hand-job, promising it would feel really good. It just felt awkward and made me need to poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 256

You deserved it 9 422

Girl boss

By dating walter white's gf apparently - 06/04/2013 19:13 - United Kingdom

Today, while going down on my girlfriend, I finally managed to give her an orgasm. During that orgasm, she tore out a clump of my hair, causing me to scream in pain. She scowled and said, "Ah shut it, ya little bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 130

You deserved it 13 421

Submission

By Anonymous - 24/11/2019 18:00 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I thought I'd be spontaneous and spice things up, and gave her a spank across the butt. She started crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 516

You deserved it 1 909

What what?

By Anonymous - 12/04/2022 16:00

Today, my boyfriend stuck his finger in my butt and I liked it, but I can’t ever tell him that or he’ll get that smug look on his face like, “I told you so, let’s have anal now.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 503

You deserved it 1 457

Sensitive snowflake

By onepussytwopussy - 07/03/2014 19:47 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time, and I tried to be sexy by raking my nails down his back. I guess I did it a little too hard, because he shrieked in pain, leapt off me, and limped around the room cursing and whimpering. Mood ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 427

You deserved it 26 493

Really heavy sleeper

By Anonymous - 17/12/2021 01:01 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend revealed that last night she decided to 'test how asleep I was' by putting her finger up my nose as far as she could. Then in my mouth. Then in my ear. Then back in my mouth. I slept through the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 901

You deserved it 144

By Anonymous - 19/06/2012 03:33 - United States

Today, I was getting dirty with my boyfriend. It was the first time he had fingered anyone, and the only thing he said was, "It feels like the inside of my asshole." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 426

You deserved it 4 625

No good

By :(( - 28/09/2013 21:24 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner, and have to leave in shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 445

You deserved it 8 033

By Anonymous - 24/04/2013 18:56 - United States - Huntington Park

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 468

You deserved it 9 862

diesel42o 0

Wednesday 2 March 2011 8:03

she owned u on that one

sam_stalker 0

Wednesday 2 March 2011 8:04

op she didn't think it was sexy, she did it for revenge >=~}

Comments

NextBigThing5044 0

Wednesday 2 March 2011 13:16

Lmao shes awesome for that.

Midgey93 0

Wednesday 2 March 2011 13:30

Haha YDI.. Payback is a bitch!

jbtheone_fml 5

Wednesday 2 March 2011 13:52

I think you screamed like a girl cause you liked it, owned like a bitch!!!

thomaa12 0

Wednesday 2 March 2011 13:56

If his girlfriend doesn't like anal she should probably just say something. The surprise finger is a no go.

keilah 4

Sunday 13 March 2011 4:43

Who's to say she didn't? A lot of guys seem to think that the proper response to "no" is to just keep asking in the hopes she'll give in eventually.

jansdo 1

Wednesday 2 March 2011 14:01

Sounds like fun unless her finger is size 3X.

thew_fml 14

Wednesday 2 March 2011 14:03

like one's ass played with does not make one gay. not liking one's ass played with makes one boring in bed

austinocappucino 0

Thursday 3 March 2011 1:12

GOOD CALL!!!

MakaylaCommisso 0

Wednesday 2 March 2011 14:11

I've done that to my boyfriend but he wanted it he's the only guy I have with so yeah lol he don't like it no more lol

MakaylaCommisso 0

Wednesday 2 March 2011 14:13

lite skin freaky boys FTW!!!!!

Melonhead_69 0

Wednesday 2 March 2011 14:12

hahaha good for you. you totally deserved it.

creedaddict 9

Wednesday 2 March 2011 14:21

u go girl ... ur my hero

mattitucklove01 0

Wednesday 2 March 2011 14:30

I was just wondering did it feel good or not! ?

Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Christmas Cute Work Am I overreacting? Holidays Cats Gifts Awkward Shopping Health Friends Hair Relatable Poopoo peepee Money Education Animals Gross Intimacy Sex Cops Neighbours Love Smells Painful First Dates Social Media Grieving

The Top

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me for being "obsessed" with my new female coworker. She gave me a piece of paper with dozens of tally marks on it. What were the tally marks keeping count of? Every time I've mentioned my coworker to my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 107

You deserved it 837

Today, my friends and I decided to compare dick sizes one by one. I was last and I was the smallest. I was also the only Asian amongst my friends. They now call me "the stereotype". FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 644

You deserved it 29 280

The Top

Today, my mom told me to take the trash out. I started to, but then I saw that the trash can had been rolled out to the curb, so I went to my room to put on shoes. My mom apparently took this as me deciding not to take the trash out, as she not only yelled at me, but growled and hissed as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 874

You deserved it 100

Savour the flavor of the day, but be careful out there!

I agree, your life sucks 721

You deserved it 194

Today, I started lessons on snowboarding. As soon as I got to the top of the hill, my instructor pushed me saying, "Just believe, it'll come to you!" He said this just before I hit a tree, breaking my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 398

You deserved it 3 435

Today, I lost my phone while at the store with my mom. She decided to call it, and that's when I remembered that my ringtone for her is the song "Mother" by The Police. The weirded-out stares I got as I picked up my phone have become a core memory that I absolutely did not want. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88

You deserved it 345

Today, my husband offered to do the weekly grocery shopping. Because he has never done the shopping before, I made him a list of what we needed and other optional foods to give him an idea of what to get. He came back with a week's worth of ramen noodles and 2 litres of soda. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 021

You deserved it 2 218

Today, I made myself a snack. I took a seemingly clean plate from the sink which had been used earlier for scrambled eggs. Only after I'd made the snack did I remember I let my dog lick the plate clean. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 996

You deserved it 15 590

Same thing different taste

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