Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend told me she wants to have sex with my ass....

By Anonymous - 16/08/2015 15:49

Today, my girlfriend told me she wants to have sex with my ass. I'm not sure she's taking "no" for an answer, seeing as how she's keeping a dildo on her nightstand and is clearly waiting for me to fall asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 952

You deserved it 3 572

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Same thing different taste

Narcolepsy

By Isuckreallybad - 06/02/2021 21:30 - United States

Today, my girlfriend fell asleep during sex. This isn't the first time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 912

You deserved it 428

Repetitive

By justgreat - 24/03/2012 02:30 - United States - Opa Locka

Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while giving me head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 605

You deserved it 6 222

By PlayTag - 05/02/2009 00:58 - United States

Today, my girlfriend gave me a blow-up doll and told me to practice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 851

You deserved it 18 701

By Anonymous - 15/08/2012 11:40 - United Kingdom - Chatham

Today, my girlfriend admitted she had a nightmare about having sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 386

You deserved it 3 436

Time is money

By asdfasdf - 24/01/2009 15:14 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 224

You deserved it 5 969

By Anonymous - 21/02/2012 19:17 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend said I could only take her virginity while I have a flaccid penis, so I won't hurt her. I get hard from just staring at her covered ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 840

You deserved it 6 394

Spill the tease

By Anonymous - 07/05/2023 18:00

Today, my girlfriend teased me by asking if I wanted to fuck her best friend in the ass. Obviously it was a joke, but now I can't stop thinking about it and I know it will never happen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 475

You deserved it 1 080

By Anonymous - 29/01/2014 21:04 - United Kingdom - Wrexham

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend, and I really started getting into it. I said, "Hang on tight, this is gonna get intense." She replied, "Doubt it" and yawned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 292

You deserved it 18 974

By Anonymous - 03/10/2010 01:34 - United States

Today, while I was going down on my girlfriend, she fell asleep. She said she was too tired to fake it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 526

You deserved it 9 575

Snoozefest

By notsogood - 08/11/2013 20:02 - United States

Today, during sex, my girlfriend got so bored that she asked me to tell her a story. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 543

You deserved it 19 408

UH60 26

Monday 17 August 2015 3:50

Are you by chance the same guy that 'accidentally' slipped into the wrong hole yesterday?

Steve95401 49

Monday 17 August 2015 3:47

Make sure to sleep on your back or on your side facing her. Also, be careful about bending over in the shower to pick up your soap off the floor.

Comments

Rectov 10

Tuesday 18 August 2015 21:40

You do it to her it's only fair

send3426 24

Wednesday 19 August 2015 0:46

If you have ever asked to put it in her ass it's only fair.

dirtbikeguy 14

Wednesday 19 August 2015 5:09

I'm sorry to hear that and I hope your ass is doing better.

its_tuesday 6

Wednesday 19 August 2015 5:31

Uhmmm yikes. Dude I think your girlfriend is a closet rapist.

LittleRich 10

Wednesday 19 August 2015 19:01

Beat her to it and stick it in her arse first and see what she says! Haha...

BabyrooKid 11

Wednesday 19 August 2015 22:43

I would do anything for love ... BUT I WON'T DO THAT.

anonamous14 9

Thursday 20 August 2015 4:29

Did you make her try anal? If so then you deserve it

DerpingtonHerp 14

Friday 21 August 2015 19:54

Well I’m dying to know what happened...

CGibson18 7

Saturday 22 August 2015 18:45

its sad to say i have similar concerns with my girlfriend

Miura424 1

Sunday 23 August 2015 14:23

So... How was the anal? ;)

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I asked my boyfriend to spend the night at my house because my dad would be working out of town, and once the rest of the house left I thought it'd be sweet if he snuck in my room and slept with me. His reply was, "Why bother? You're on your period, it's not like we can do anything." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 270

You deserved it 14 173

Today, I was eating cereal and decided to warm it up to see what it tasted like. So, using a candle in the room I placed my spoon over the flame and waited to see if it heated up. Pleased with my silly experiment, I put the spoon back in my mouth. I now can't talk because of my swollen tongue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 760

You deserved it 250 851

The Top

Today, I'm constipated AND having diarrhea at the same time. It feels like I'm going to explode. FML

I agree, your life sucks 820

You deserved it 75

Today, my 17-year-old employee accidentally called me "Dad". We all got a good laugh from it and went on with our days. Later, after getting her some coins for her cash drawer, she playfully said, "Thanks, Daddy." The customer she was serving? My wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 504

You deserved it 561

Today, one of the comic companies I submitted to, replied back. They said that the story was boring, and the main character bland, generic, uncultured, had no potential for personal growth, a suburbanite, and an ignorant shut-in. I based the personality of the main character on my own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 262

You deserved it 12 824

Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 613

You deserved it 5 081

Today, I was shopping with my dad and I saw one of my guy friends, so we waved and smiled at each other. My dad clearly thought his wave was too "romantic", because he shouted at him, "Touch her, and I'll kill you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 159

You deserved it 3 306

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old standing over me with a pillow. I asked him what he was doing, and he replied that he and Steve were playing a game, but Steve said I have to be asleep for it. Steve is my son's imaginary friend. I'm convinced Steve wants to kill me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 985

You deserved it 3 655