Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend was over at my house for the first time....

By Anonymous - 26/07/2011 04:30 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was over at my house for the first time. I told her I had to go take a shower, and from the other room my grandmother yells "you're not going to jack off this time are you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 015

You deserved it 8 977

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

In the mood

By Steve - 16/12/2012 06:25 - United States - Oshkosh

Today, my girlfriend and I were in the mood for something different. So we decided to have sex in the shower. When we were finished I heard a voice outside the door asking if we needed a towel. It was my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 806

You deserved it 18 371

By IceMage - 18/01/2010 00:57 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to sneak into the shower at her house while her parents went out to eat and a movie. Half way through our shower we heard a knocking at the door, it was her mom. We had left all of our clothes downstairs. Safe to say I won't be allowed there any more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 644

You deserved it 39 423

Caught red-handed

By caught - 09/01/2012 00:43 - United States

Today, I was bored and started touching myself watching TV. My mother walked into my bedroom with a phone in her hand and yelled, "Stop jacking off and talk to your grandmother." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 336

You deserved it 36 291

Bumbling

By Anonymous - 07/12/2019 20:00

Today, my girlfriend and I enjoyed a lovely shower together. It was indeed lovely until her father came into the washroom to say “Welcome to the family!” whilst taking a giant shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 650

You deserved it 591

Denied

By Anonymous - 30/08/2023 22:00

Today, I started coming on to my girlfriend, only to get a nasty rejection. I told her I would just go jerk off, to which she replied, "Don't you dare!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 515

You deserved it 142

By Isabell - 06/02/2010 05:31 - Australia

Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 769

You deserved it 5 870

By PerfectBoyfriend - 07/06/2016 16:38 - Belgium - Reet

Today, my girlfriend got pissed because she thought she heard me masturbating in the bathroom. I was brushing my teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 397

You deserved it 1 914

By welptimetoburntheplacedown - 11/08/2014 15:02 - United States - Louisville

Today, I decided to spend a few days at my grandma's house, to help her clean the place up a bit. So far, she's given me a "no masturbating under my roof" talk, used multiple racist slurs, and yelled "QUIET DOWN!" when I so much as sneezed in the next room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 307

You deserved it 3 702

Handy

By Anonymous - 06/03/2011 18:15 - Sweden

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a handjob in the shower. As I was reaching climax, my mom walked by the bathroom door and started talking to me. My girlfriend didn't stop, and in order to distract from the situation at hand, I had to carry on the conversation with my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 901

You deserved it 11 994

Nice to know

By justin bieber's nutsack - 06/06/2015 07:32 - United Kingdom

Today, I brought my girlfriend home to introduce her to my parents. As we arrived, my grandpa was leaving the bathroom. He looked over at my girlfriend with a worried expression and said, "Never take a shit in this place. Feels like I wiped my arsehole with sandpaper." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 259

You deserved it 2 803

Thale_fml 8

Tuesday 26 July 2011 12:14

... why would you take a shower when your girlfriend had finally come to your house to visit, anyway?

Parazad 16

Tuesday 26 July 2011 12:13

At least your grandmother has a sense of humor.

Comments

freshx_fml 6

Wednesday 27 July 2011 3:38

sounds like your granny doesn't want to be alone. send her my way.

courtneysbringin 0

Wednesday 27 July 2011 4:20

shower before she comes over. you deserved it.

detective_oreo 0

Wednesday 27 July 2011 5:21

well are you?

youdontevenknow0 0

Wednesday 27 July 2011 6:24

haw haw

MackenzieBug 0

Wednesday 27 July 2011 6:26

Haha, Sexy!! ^.~ Grandma:1 , You: NoDignity

viperviperviper 0

Wednesday 27 July 2011 6:37

I really want to know why you would take a shower while you're gf is over

constantine91 0

Wednesday 27 July 2011 8:16

how inappropriate of your grandma. especially for her to say that in front of your new girlfriend who has only just come over. great first impression granny!