Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend was over at my house for the first time....

By Anonymous - 26/07/2011 04:30 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was over at my house for the first time. I told her I had to go take a shower, and from the other room my grandmother yells "you're not going to jack off this time are you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 015

You deserved it 8 977

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Same thing different taste

In the mood

By Steve - 16/12/2012 06:25 - United States - Oshkosh

Today, my girlfriend and I were in the mood for something different. So we decided to have sex in the shower. When we were finished I heard a voice outside the door asking if we needed a towel. It was my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 806

You deserved it 18 371

By IceMage - 18/01/2010 00:57 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to sneak into the shower at her house while her parents went out to eat and a movie. Half way through our shower we heard a knocking at the door, it was her mom. We had left all of our clothes downstairs. Safe to say I won't be allowed there any more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 644

You deserved it 39 423

Caught red-handed

By caught - 09/01/2012 00:43 - United States

Today, I was bored and started touching myself watching TV. My mother walked into my bedroom with a phone in her hand and yelled, "Stop jacking off and talk to your grandmother." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 336

You deserved it 36 291

Bumbling

By Anonymous - 07/12/2019 20:00

Today, my girlfriend and I enjoyed a lovely shower together. It was indeed lovely until her father came into the washroom to say “Welcome to the family!” whilst taking a giant shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 649

You deserved it 591

Denied

By Anonymous - 30/08/2023 22:00

Today, I started coming on to my girlfriend, only to get a nasty rejection. I told her I would just go jerk off, to which she replied, "Don't you dare!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 514

You deserved it 142

By Isabell - 06/02/2010 05:31 - Australia

Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 768

You deserved it 5 870

By PerfectBoyfriend - 07/06/2016 16:38 - Belgium - Reet

Today, my girlfriend got pissed because she thought she heard me masturbating in the bathroom. I was brushing my teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 397

You deserved it 1 914

By welptimetoburntheplacedown - 11/08/2014 15:02 - United States - Louisville

Today, I decided to spend a few days at my grandma's house, to help her clean the place up a bit. So far, she's given me a "no masturbating under my roof" talk, used multiple racist slurs, and yelled "QUIET DOWN!" when I so much as sneezed in the next room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 306

You deserved it 3 701

Handy

By Anonymous - 06/03/2011 18:15 - Sweden

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a handjob in the shower. As I was reaching climax, my mom walked by the bathroom door and started talking to me. My girlfriend didn't stop, and in order to distract from the situation at hand, I had to carry on the conversation with my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 900

You deserved it 11 994

Nice to know

By justin bieber's nutsack - 06/06/2015 07:32 - United Kingdom

Today, I brought my girlfriend home to introduce her to my parents. As we arrived, my grandpa was leaving the bathroom. He looked over at my girlfriend with a worried expression and said, "Never take a shit in this place. Feels like I wiped my arsehole with sandpaper." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 259

You deserved it 2 803

Thale_fml 8

Tuesday 26 July 2011 12:14

... why would you take a shower when your girlfriend had finally come to your house to visit, anyway?

Parazad 16

Tuesday 26 July 2011 12:13

At least your grandmother has a sense of humor.

Comments

JessiskaDawn 5

Tuesday 26 July 2011 12:23

smh* that's sucks!

Jacobt24 19

Tuesday 26 July 2011 12:24

If your girlfriend was coming over then why didn't you shower before she got there? or were you hoping she would get in with you ;)

FriskyCoconut 0

Tuesday 26 July 2011 13:44

that's what I was thinking!

wolfsheart 14

Tuesday 26 July 2011 17:24

I thought that was wired also. lol

koekj 6

Tuesday 26 July 2011 12:24

"No grandma, you know I brought my girl to do that!"

iJiZinURsis 1

Tuesday 26 July 2011 12:25

that's painfully akward broseph

allmidnighteyes 10

Tuesday 26 July 2011 12:25

She says it like she's caught/heard you doing it in there before.

Ugi 26

Tuesday 26 July 2011 12:26

"No need today Gran'" would seem to be the obvious reply.

RainbowStalin 0

Tuesday 26 July 2011 12:27

Did you jack off?

evillittleme 5

Tuesday 26 July 2011 12:33

just how hard or loud do you fap?! geez

Vasin_fml 15

Tuesday 26 July 2011 12:34

You must be a screamer.

MissRoxiie 12

Tuesday 26 July 2011 12:35

why showering after your got friend got there ? shouldnt you shower before lol

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I agree, your life sucks 23 491

You deserved it 1 472

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I agree, your life sucks 42 987

You deserved it 3 972

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I agree, your life sucks 62 440

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