By Anonymous - 24/01/2014 00:10 - United States - Birmingham

Spicy
Today, my girlfriend was spending the day at my place. Later on, I walked in while she was making lunch. She had a jar of mayo in her hand, and I joked, "I have some mayo, but it doesn't come from a jar." She had a bluetooth headset on, and was in a call with her father. 5ML
I agree, your life sucks 46 860
You deserved it 25 871
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Top comments

Crazc 15

Bluetooth or no Bluetooth, thats a stupid-ass joke.

396 30
ktiskool 18

You're gonna be getting some Hellman's.

114 7

Comments

MummyRavyne 14

There's always the chance he didn't hear you op, but that was a really bad joke. You could try and bs you're way out of an awkward meeting by saying you meant you had mayo in a squeezy-bottle...

38 6
ruckfules85 34

Wow I dint know how to feel about you having mayo not from a jar.

3 29
j_cat187 19

Ripping off restraints and stealing mayo packets is kind of pathetic.

2 3
IVI4G1C 7

this is why you don't walk in on your gf while she's making sandwiches

10 23
DotDootyDot 17

You deserve it for making the lamest joke ever about mayo.

39 5
glabberfasted 16

It also qualifies as the lamest joke about semen ever.

17 1
AngelSpit 18

Why not throw in the lamest joke about jars and give him the trifecta!

6 11
iluvFMLs15 19

may I Just throw this out there - you should NEVER under ANY circumstances refer or compare Mayo to your cum -.- that's so gross.

14 26
SuckMeBeautifu1 24

Ok. Hey btw my cum looks like mayo.

3 17
glabberfasted 16

You really should not brag about your semen looking like mayo. The two should never look similar.

25 0
AngelSpit 18

if your semen is is a yellowy whitish completely opaque color go to the dr

32 2
SuckMeBeautifu1 24

Did she get the mayo later anyway?

3 12
arandomusernameaa 20

your comments are always down voted.

2 1
SuckMeBeautifu1 24

@91 Haha yeah there were a few weird socially challenged girls butthurt about when I said a female OP from a previous FML should have practiced some self hygiene, and now they're sniping all my comments. Its their way of getting back at society for being rejected by their peers in real life, quite hilarious xD

2 2
kmartFTW 12

Its comes in a squeeze tube container! Right? anyone? ?..

11 1
SuckMeBeautifu1 24

Yeah but you have to give it a few shakes to warm it up too.

3 9
weveallbeenthere 30

stupid joke, but at least she was making a sandwich.

0 0