Love: Today, my husband and I were in bed, and just as I was about...

By demk - 20/08/2009 14:51 - United States

Today, my husband and I were in bed, and just as I was about to finish he screamed, "Oh shit! It's 4:15, my strawberries are gonna whither!!!!" and then jumped off me and went to check on his farm on FarmVille. An imaginary farm, on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 846

You deserved it 8 051

Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Phoebe - 18/07/2009 08:15 - Singapore

Today, my husband and I were in bed when the alarm on his phone went off. He then told me that he had to 'sound the horn' and went over to his laptop. Wondering what that meant, I peered over at his laptop. It turns out hunting for mice on Facebook is more important than procreating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 833

You deserved it 4 167

By mrs.nerd - 23/10/2011 12:38 - United States

Today, my husband and I were getting intimate when a notification for a game popped up on his iPad. He immediately shoved me aside so he could take care of his baby dragon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 060

You deserved it 4 533

Obsessed

By farmvillefail - 09/01/2010 00:10 - United States

Today, I found out the best way to communicate with my boyfriend, who is obsessed with Farmville, is by placing a "sign post" on his farm. Not sending texts, emails, or calling, but by placing a message on his imaginary farm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 936

You deserved it 4 378

By Katie - 09/10/2012 05:42 - United States - Homewood

Today, I received frantic calls and messages from my husband wondering where I was and if I was cheating on him. I was in the same house as him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 202

You deserved it 2 097

Because nobody questions Bigfoot

By poisonivyandbigfoot - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, I was playing a game on my boyfriend's phone when he got a text from a girl saying, "Last night was so fun." When I asked him about it, he panicked and said, "We were hunting Bigfoot." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 580

You deserved it 402

By Anonymous - 14/02/2013 23:00 - United Kingdom - Kilkeel

Today, I felt frisky, so I did my hair and put on make-up and some lingerie. I walked into the living room, where my husband was playing a video game. He glanced up, said, "Oh, for fuck's sake." and made me wait nearly 15 minutes for him to reach a save-game point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 813

You deserved it 9 036

By torny>horny - 10/04/2011 04:42 - United States

Today, my husband tried to be romantic by throwing me in a bed laid with roses. Too bad he forgot to remove the thorns first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 593

You deserved it 4 982

By Anon - 27/02/2010 16:07 - United States

Today, my boss told me that if I didn't become his neighbor on Farmville I wouldn't have a job. I laughed. He didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 707

You deserved it 2 940

Monday Morning Blues

By Anonymous - 01/07/2019 14:00

Today, after a rough night, my husband's alarms started going off at 5 a.m. All 4 of them. Old town road, the Skyrim theme, that lady yelling, "I got shit to do today" and bagpipes. I'm awake. He's not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 980

You deserved it 150

By loser - 03/01/2010 12:00 - United States

Today, I handed my friend a $50. I paid her to take care of my farm on Farmville, feed my fish on Fishville, and flip my burgers on Cafe World, while I went on vacation for a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 496

You deserved it 67 653

lolatflyingducks 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 23:02

Clearly, you have never played Farmville.

chadhilliard67 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 23:02

haha, lets hope his strawberrys didnt whither

Comments

RhymePrime 7

Saturday 22 August 2009 10:41

Strawberries? What a Noob.

potprincess 0

Saturday 22 August 2009 21:59

thats what im sayin!

Wanton_Rhapsody 0

Saturday 22 August 2009 14:15

I play this game. It's fun. It's not that fun. That is absolutely never ok. I refuse to believe that sex with him can be particularly enjoyable if he's able to remember that his strawberries are withering in imaginary land. So just be glad you had a concrete reason for not getting off? Good luck. What an ass.

palatapus 0

Monday 5 July 2010 10:15

if you are reading this I would just like to say thank you, good nightcm, merry kwanzakuhmas, and testicles.

LynchyBabes 0

Saturday 22 August 2009 21:06

As if he got strawberries! Strawberries suck. Tell him to get something that takes longer to grow next time, like artichokes, so that he can happily have sex, safe in the knowledge that they won't wither for 4 days.

potprincess 0

Saturday 22 August 2009 21:57

LMFAOOO THIS SHIT IS SOOOO FUNNNYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY OMGGG hahahahhaha but seriously strawberries suck dick that guy is like on level one what a nub

wtfmudder 0

Sunday 23 August 2009 0:36

I actually just submitted an FML not even 5 minutes ago about farmville. My mom tried to kick me off the computer when I was trying to do my university homework so she could harvest her crops. What a tard.