Love: Today, my husband and I were in bed, and just as I was about...

By demk - 20/08/2009 14:51 - United States

Today, my husband and I were in bed, and just as I was about to finish he screamed, "Oh shit! It's 4:15, my strawberries are gonna whither!!!!" and then jumped off me and went to check on his farm on FarmVille. An imaginary farm, on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 846

You deserved it 8 051

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Same thing different taste

By Phoebe - 18/07/2009 08:15 - Singapore

Today, my husband and I were in bed when the alarm on his phone went off. He then told me that he had to 'sound the horn' and went over to his laptop. Wondering what that meant, I peered over at his laptop. It turns out hunting for mice on Facebook is more important than procreating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 833

You deserved it 4 167

By mrs.nerd - 23/10/2011 12:38 - United States

Today, my husband and I were getting intimate when a notification for a game popped up on his iPad. He immediately shoved me aside so he could take care of his baby dragon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 060

You deserved it 4 533

Obsessed

By farmvillefail - 09/01/2010 00:10 - United States

Today, I found out the best way to communicate with my boyfriend, who is obsessed with Farmville, is by placing a "sign post" on his farm. Not sending texts, emails, or calling, but by placing a message on his imaginary farm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 936

You deserved it 4 378

By Katie - 09/10/2012 05:42 - United States - Homewood

Today, I received frantic calls and messages from my husband wondering where I was and if I was cheating on him. I was in the same house as him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 202

You deserved it 2 097

Because nobody questions Bigfoot

By poisonivyandbigfoot - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, I was playing a game on my boyfriend's phone when he got a text from a girl saying, "Last night was so fun." When I asked him about it, he panicked and said, "We were hunting Bigfoot." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 580

You deserved it 402

By Anonymous - 14/02/2013 23:00 - United Kingdom - Kilkeel

Today, I felt frisky, so I did my hair and put on make-up and some lingerie. I walked into the living room, where my husband was playing a video game. He glanced up, said, "Oh, for fuck's sake." and made me wait nearly 15 minutes for him to reach a save-game point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 813

You deserved it 9 036

By torny>horny - 10/04/2011 04:42 - United States

Today, my husband tried to be romantic by throwing me in a bed laid with roses. Too bad he forgot to remove the thorns first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 593

You deserved it 4 982

By Anon - 27/02/2010 16:07 - United States

Today, my boss told me that if I didn't become his neighbor on Farmville I wouldn't have a job. I laughed. He didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 707

You deserved it 2 940

Monday Morning Blues

By Anonymous - 01/07/2019 14:00

Today, after a rough night, my husband's alarms started going off at 5 a.m. All 4 of them. Old town road, the Skyrim theme, that lady yelling, "I got shit to do today" and bagpipes. I'm awake. He's not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 980

You deserved it 150

By loser - 03/01/2010 12:00 - United States

Today, I handed my friend a $50. I paid her to take care of my farm on Farmville, feed my fish on Fishville, and flip my burgers on Cafe World, while I went on vacation for a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 496

You deserved it 67 653

lolatflyingducks 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 23:02

Clearly, you have never played Farmville.

chadhilliard67 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 23:02

haha, lets hope his strawberrys didnt whither

Comments

diamondbaby09 0

Saturday 29 August 2009 11:57

"I love farmville! I would totally stop in the middle of sex to save my strawberries." ^^^^^^^^^^ Hahahahahaaa this is great lol

thewonkits 0

Saturday 29 August 2009 19:16

If they were real strawberries, I'd understand...

daftpunk5489 0

Saturday 29 August 2009 19:32

this is the funniest I've read yet hahahah

xFazedFX 0

Monday 31 August 2009 11:29

YDI for not helping him with his strawberries...

Lord_Ashour 0

Monday 31 August 2009 11:35

Farmville should die a horrible death. Funny story though.

cottonGIN 0

Friday 4 September 2009 8:28

...Yes

Lalaladida 0

Friday 11 September 2009 8:43

FarmVille's great.

billpol 0

Tuesday 15 September 2009 18:29

FarmVille destroyed my family - http://misterandme.spreadshirt.com/us/US/Shop/Article/Index/article/FarmCrack-Men-5054510

aussiegirl1990 0

Tuesday 22 September 2009 16:09

I'm super glad I ignore all the FarmVillie requests.. I don't wanna turn out like my mum and sister. Jessica

Hardstyle_Maniac 0

Saturday 3 October 2009 4:17

This is one of my all time favorites!!!

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I'm spending the night with the guy I've been interested in for a while. Instead of sleeping in the same bed together, he insists that I sleep in another room because he "doesn't want to be tempted to do anything." So, I'm alone, in my best lingerie, in his little brother's room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 603

You deserved it 8 588

Today, my wife quit her job, not wanting to go back to in person at her office, to be a stay-at-home mom. Tomorrow, for my birthday, I was going to tell her that I'm not in love with her, have found an apartment, and signed a 2-year lease. I can't afford the apartment, mortgage, and the kids' tuition. FML

I agree, your life sucks 611

You deserved it 2 771

The Top

Today, I found out that my girlfriend's new friend is actually her "replacement". They met a few months ago, and she's really cool, we share the same interests, it's nice to spend time with her, etc., but my girlfriend planned to break up with me and "trained" her because she doesn't want me to be lonely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 639

You deserved it 141

Today, my mom asked me to take a picture of her and a friend before they went out to dinner. I was getting ready to take the picture when I noticed the box showing the most recent picture. It was a nude. Of my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 711

You deserved it 157

Today, I was going to a talent show. On the way there, my car broke down, I lost my keys, and managed to slam my hand in a window. I got there and waited in the theater for an hour, before a janitor came by and said, "Show is tomorrow, lady." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 659

You deserved it 9 589

Today, I was pouring my heart out to my dad about how I'm such a loser and how I have no friends. He listened sympathetically, until his phone buzzed with a text message. He said, "Balls, the guys from work wanna get shitfaced!" and took a rain check on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 815

You deserved it 2 935

Today, after spending thousands of Euros flying back to my home country to pick up my expensive prescription medicine, I found out that I can buy it 200 meters from my current home, without prescription, and at a quarter of the price. FML

I agree, your life sucks 462

You deserved it 962

Today, I found out where my stolen car was. It was all the way in Maine. I live in Ohio and I got a $300 fine for illegal parking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 599

You deserved it 2 123

Same thing different taste

Obsessed

Because nobody questions Bigfoot

Monday Morning Blues

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