Love: Today, my husband and I were in bed, and just as I was about...

By demk - 20/08/2009 14:51 - United States

Today, my husband and I were in bed, and just as I was about to finish he screamed, "Oh shit! It's 4:15, my strawberries are gonna whither!!!!" and then jumped off me and went to check on his farm on FarmVille. An imaginary farm, on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 848

You deserved it 8 051

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
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Same thing different taste

By Phoebe - 18/07/2009 08:15 - Singapore

Today, my husband and I were in bed when the alarm on his phone went off. He then told me that he had to 'sound the horn' and went over to his laptop. Wondering what that meant, I peered over at his laptop. It turns out hunting for mice on Facebook is more important than procreating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 834

You deserved it 4 167

By mrs.nerd - 23/10/2011 12:38 - United States

Today, my husband and I were getting intimate when a notification for a game popped up on his iPad. He immediately shoved me aside so he could take care of his baby dragon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 063

You deserved it 4 534

Obsessed

By farmvillefail - 09/01/2010 00:10 - United States

Today, I found out the best way to communicate with my boyfriend, who is obsessed with Farmville, is by placing a "sign post" on his farm. Not sending texts, emails, or calling, but by placing a message on his imaginary farm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 939

You deserved it 4 379

By Katie - 09/10/2012 05:42 - United States - Homewood

Today, I received frantic calls and messages from my husband wondering where I was and if I was cheating on him. I was in the same house as him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 206

You deserved it 2 097

Because nobody questions Bigfoot

By poisonivyandbigfoot - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, I was playing a game on my boyfriend's phone when he got a text from a girl saying, "Last night was so fun." When I asked him about it, he panicked and said, "We were hunting Bigfoot." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 588

You deserved it 403

By Anonymous - 14/02/2013 23:00 - United Kingdom - Kilkeel

Today, I felt frisky, so I did my hair and put on make-up and some lingerie. I walked into the living room, where my husband was playing a video game. He glanced up, said, "Oh, for fuck's sake." and made me wait nearly 15 minutes for him to reach a save-game point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 813

You deserved it 9 037

By torny>horny - 10/04/2011 04:42 - United States

Today, my husband tried to be romantic by throwing me in a bed laid with roses. Too bad he forgot to remove the thorns first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 598

You deserved it 4 982

By Anon - 27/02/2010 16:07 - United States

Today, my boss told me that if I didn't become his neighbor on Farmville I wouldn't have a job. I laughed. He didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 709

You deserved it 2 940

Monday Morning Blues

By Anonymous - 01/07/2019 14:00

Today, after a rough night, my husband's alarms started going off at 5 a.m. All 4 of them. Old town road, the Skyrim theme, that lady yelling, "I got shit to do today" and bagpipes. I'm awake. He's not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 981

You deserved it 150

By loser - 03/01/2010 12:00 - United States

Today, I handed my friend a $50. I paid her to take care of my farm on Farmville, feed my fish on Fishville, and flip my burgers on Cafe World, while I went on vacation for a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 497

You deserved it 67 659

lolatflyingducks 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 23:02

Clearly, you have never played Farmville.

chadhilliard67 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 23:02

haha, lets hope his strawberrys didnt whither

Comments

diamondbaby09 0

Saturday 29 August 2009 11:57

"I love farmville! I would totally stop in the middle of sex to save my strawberries." ^^^^^^^^^^ Hahahahahaaa this is great lol

thewonkits 0

Saturday 29 August 2009 19:16

If they were real strawberries, I'd understand...

daftpunk5489 0

Saturday 29 August 2009 19:32

this is the funniest I've read yet hahahah

xFazedFX 0

Monday 31 August 2009 11:29

YDI for not helping him with his strawberries...

Lord_Ashour 0

Monday 31 August 2009 11:35

Farmville should die a horrible death. Funny story though.

cottonGIN 0

Friday 4 September 2009 8:28

...Yes

Lalaladida 0

Friday 11 September 2009 8:43

FarmVille's great.

billpol 0

Tuesday 15 September 2009 18:29

FarmVille destroyed my family - http://misterandme.spreadshirt.com/us/US/Shop/Article/Index/article/FarmCrack-Men-5054510

aussiegirl1990 0

Tuesday 22 September 2009 16:09

I'm super glad I ignore all the FarmVillie requests.. I don't wanna turn out like my mum and sister. Jessica

Hardstyle_Maniac 0

Saturday 3 October 2009 4:17

This is one of my all time favorites!!!

Keywords

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The Top

Today, while driving home, I looked in the rear-view mirror and saw that my three-year-old daughter had managed to get out of her seat and had crawled to the back window. I pulled over and strapped her in again. Five minutes later she was back at the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 220

You deserved it 5 961

Today, I told my roommate that I was an atheist and she laughed. I left and returned to find her and her prayer group praying for my soul. She told me to accept Jesus Christ as my lord and savior. I said no. Then she told me to find somewhere else to live. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 856

You deserved it 1 042

The Top

Today, I was harshly scolded by a woman who claimed I "can't get over the Covid hysteria" because I was wearing a mask outside in public. I wear a mask whenever I'm outside because of seasonal allergies, and I have not caught Covid since November 2020. FML

I agree, your life sucks 843

You deserved it 191

Today, I told my dad I’m applying for a big pageant and I’ll find out tomorrow if I’m chosen to compete. I told him that there's a registration fee and a sponsorship fee. I then said that I might not be picked, but he assured me that I would… because they want the money from the fees. FML

I agree, your life sucks 705

You deserved it 293

Today, I was at a petting zoo with my boyfriend. A guy that worked there said he'd take a picture of me with a mouse on my head. He reassured me that this mouse was trained. I agreed. Once the mouse got on my head, it peed. Turns out the guy didn't work there after all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 737

You deserved it 15 734

Today, my mom walked into my room to talk to me. I was surprised because we don't talk much. I was left with a smile on my face after she left, until I realized she'd stolen all the candy on my desk while I wasn't looking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 475

You deserved it 5 290

Today, my girlfriend had a complete breakdown. I was trying to calm her down and reassure her that she will accomplish all of her dreams. Her response: "Then why am I even with you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 340

You deserved it 2 030

Today, I thought it would be a smart idea to walk out on the pier while the waves were 6 feet tall. I was having fun getting "splashed" by the waves crashing over until one wave knocked me over and dragged me 20 feet across the hard concrete pier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 638

You deserved it 46 517

Same thing different taste

Obsessed

Because nobody questions Bigfoot

Monday Morning Blues

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