Love: Today, my husband and I were in bed, and just as I was about...

By demk - 20/08/2009 14:51 - United States

Today, my husband and I were in bed, and just as I was about to finish he screamed, "Oh shit! It's 4:15, my strawberries are gonna whither!!!!" and then jumped off me and went to check on his farm on FarmVille. An imaginary farm, on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 848

You deserved it 8 051

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Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Phoebe - 18/07/2009 08:15 - Singapore

Today, my husband and I were in bed when the alarm on his phone went off. He then told me that he had to 'sound the horn' and went over to his laptop. Wondering what that meant, I peered over at his laptop. It turns out hunting for mice on Facebook is more important than procreating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 834

You deserved it 4 167

By mrs.nerd - 23/10/2011 12:38 - United States

Today, my husband and I were getting intimate when a notification for a game popped up on his iPad. He immediately shoved me aside so he could take care of his baby dragon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 063

You deserved it 4 534

Obsessed

By farmvillefail - 09/01/2010 00:10 - United States

Today, I found out the best way to communicate with my boyfriend, who is obsessed with Farmville, is by placing a "sign post" on his farm. Not sending texts, emails, or calling, but by placing a message on his imaginary farm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 939

You deserved it 4 379

By Katie - 09/10/2012 05:42 - United States - Homewood

Today, I received frantic calls and messages from my husband wondering where I was and if I was cheating on him. I was in the same house as him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 206

You deserved it 2 097

Because nobody questions Bigfoot

By poisonivyandbigfoot - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, I was playing a game on my boyfriend's phone when he got a text from a girl saying, "Last night was so fun." When I asked him about it, he panicked and said, "We were hunting Bigfoot." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 588

You deserved it 403

By Anonymous - 14/02/2013 23:00 - United Kingdom - Kilkeel

Today, I felt frisky, so I did my hair and put on make-up and some lingerie. I walked into the living room, where my husband was playing a video game. He glanced up, said, "Oh, for fuck's sake." and made me wait nearly 15 minutes for him to reach a save-game point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 813

You deserved it 9 037

By torny>horny - 10/04/2011 04:42 - United States

Today, my husband tried to be romantic by throwing me in a bed laid with roses. Too bad he forgot to remove the thorns first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 598

You deserved it 4 982

By Anon - 27/02/2010 16:07 - United States

Today, my boss told me that if I didn't become his neighbor on Farmville I wouldn't have a job. I laughed. He didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 709

You deserved it 2 940

Monday Morning Blues

By Anonymous - 01/07/2019 14:00

Today, after a rough night, my husband's alarms started going off at 5 a.m. All 4 of them. Old town road, the Skyrim theme, that lady yelling, "I got shit to do today" and bagpipes. I'm awake. He's not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 981

You deserved it 150

By loser - 03/01/2010 12:00 - United States

Today, I handed my friend a $50. I paid her to take care of my farm on Farmville, feed my fish on Fishville, and flip my burgers on Cafe World, while I went on vacation for a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 497

You deserved it 67 659

lolatflyingducks 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 23:02

Clearly, you have never played Farmville.

chadhilliard67 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 23:02

haha, lets hope his strawberrys didnt whither

Comments

MysticCeltic 0

Friday 21 August 2009 9:11

w00t!! FarmVille FTW!! Oh and screw Strawberries, what a worthless crop...Peppers is where it's at for me atm, blueberries seem like a waste of time, too! Right, um...FYL OP but YDI for not being good enough in bed to keep your man's attention all the way thru!!

BabaBlackShirt 0

Friday 21 August 2009 9:15

I've had quite enough of these, "My boyfriend/husband went to do something else during sex. FML" It's getting old. I don't care WHAT he went to do! It's not like you're never gonna have sex again! You'll do it again, and again... One time isn't gonna kill you!!

halfglassfull 0

Friday 21 August 2009 9:18

It sounds like he had a quick passing thought and because it was so random and unexpected, he got instantly distracted. It doesn't sound personal towards you or your sex life.

Jarlais 0

Friday 21 August 2009 9:19

he just wanted to get his hand on some fresh melons. obviously yours are too ripe. haha

worldofwarcraft1 0

Friday 21 August 2009 9:30

i like youville

tenkenshi 2

Friday 21 August 2009 9:44

You people saying you're sick of these types of FMLs, STFU and don't read it, and definitely don't complain about it in comments. Although i guess you all like wasting your time.

famo5 5

Friday 21 August 2009 10:00

See that is why i don't plant strawberries on farmville. i don't go on everyday, so they wither. i prefer squash or wheat. 3 days to harvest and sells for a good price, too. :)