Intimacy: Today, my husband called me to the bedroom to show me something....

By anne - 17/12/2011 03:46 - United States

Today, my husband called me to the bedroom to show me something. This "something" was him demonstrating his seemingly well-trained ability to accurately type out a sentence on my phone using nothing but his erect penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 862

You deserved it 6 011

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By chewybarseventy - 24/08/2010 06:17 - United States

Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 499

You deserved it 11 071

Revealing

By kitkat545 - 15/06/2009 23:18 - United States

Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 079

You deserved it 51 000

My little buddy

By Anonymous - 18/08/2009 05:37 - United States

Today, I walked in on my husband in our room completely naked. At first I thought he was waiting for me so we could have sex. He hadn't seen me yet, so I started to undress too to surprise him. Then I saw that he had drawn a face on his penis and he was talking to it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 114

You deserved it 6 511

Emergency

By -____- - 05/10/2013 21:28 - United States - Seattle

Today, my husband yelled from upstairs, "Babe! BABE, COME QUICK!" Terrified that something might have happened to our newborn daughter, I rushed up, only to find out he just wanted to show me that he'd learned how to spin a top on the tip of his penis without it falling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 361

You deserved it 7 442

Communication tool

By Anonymous - 10/10/2012 21:48 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, my husband let me know he felt I was ignoring him by jabbing me in the right ear with his erect penis while I was Skyping with my mum overseas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 332

You deserved it 6 185

By Rosie - 13/06/2012 16:07 - Germany - Wesel

Today, I woke up to the sight of my boyfriend playing a game on my iPhone with his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 384

You deserved it 5 246

By Anonymous - 22/02/2012 05:42 - United States

Today, my husband and I were about to have sex. As soon as I got on top, he started speaking in a robot voice, then demanded that I call him "The Fuckinator." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 778

You deserved it 5 614

By Anonymous - 13/10/2012 21:54 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, my husband decided that he simply couldn't exist any longer without giving me his own version of a wet-willy. He creeped up on me as I was sleeping and wiggled his wet penis around in my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 145

You deserved it 4 215

By Anonymous - 30/01/2015 20:16 - United States

Today, I walked in on my husband jacking off to a photo of himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 195

You deserved it 4 507

By ChopSuey - 01/06/2016 04:02 - United States - West Monroe

Today, my husband returned from being away for two weeks. I eagerly got myself ready and sent him a risqué picture so he would come to bed. An hour later, he's on the couch playing Xbox with the message already seen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 913

You deserved it 1 626

TheSnakeDoctor20 17

Saturday 17 December 2011 6:27

That man is boss!

monkeysareyummy 0

Saturday 17 December 2011 6:28

New 'Americas Got Talent' contestant?

Comments

meanmachine511 0

Saturday 17 December 2011 10:42

How is that possible???

janneke730 1

Saturday 17 December 2011 10:43

why is this a FML its awesome

icxiibunnie 14

Saturday 17 December 2011 10:52

Lol i think it takes real skills to accomplish something like that. Yeah it may not be the best skill or a normal skill, but talent is talent. I'm pretty sure he practiced hard just to show you. So you know just laugh it off or something :)