Intimacy: Today, my husband got out of the shower, came downstairs naked... - FML

By Scarlett - 26/04/2011 17:28 - United States

Spicy

Today, my husband got out of the shower, came downstairs naked screaming ''EMBRACE THE HARDNESS!!'' Little did he know, my step mother was sitting right there at the kitchen table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 651

You deserved it 6 155

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Same thing different taste

By Mrs. Ned - 09/09/2015 02:00 - United States - Incline Village

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my husband having sex with the shower wall. When I got in the shower with him he immediately went soft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 936

You deserved it 3 094

Buzzing the tower

By Princess ? - 12/04/2020 14:00

Spicy

Today, I was taking a shower when my husband suddenly came in naked. I thought we were gonna have some fun, and so tried to be sexy. He took a quick shower and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 164

You deserved it 283

By cutiekenz21 - 31/07/2011 00:45 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend's mother walked in on us having sex. He started crying and ran into the bathroom where my clothes were located, leaving me to deal with his mother. Naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 802

You deserved it 8 376

Classic Dave

By Sarahir - 29/04/2020 05:00

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my husband masturbating into the kitchen sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 196

You deserved it 406

By Anonymous - 28/05/2017 12:00

Spicy

Today, the first thing my fiancé did when he walked in the door was to loudly announce all the hot kinky stuff he was about to do to me on the kitchen table. Unfortunately for him my dad, mother and both my brothers had just dropped in for a visit and heard every word he said. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 979

You deserved it 816

By ugh - 12/03/2010 06:05 - United States

Spicy

Today, I got home early from work. When I got home I got to see my dad chasing my mom around the house, naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 124

You deserved it 3 623

By Anonymous - 03/08/2011 17:03 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I snuck into the bathroom together at his house for a quickie. Just as we unzipped our pants, his step-dad knocked on the door. Panicking, I jumped into the closet to hide. When his step-dad came in, he went to put some towels away. In the closet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 101

You deserved it 42 158

Kinky

By sad_dad - 24/10/2009 17:35 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I got home from work and heard the shower in my bathroom running. Thinking my wife was taking a shower, I got completely undressed and walked in. My wife wasn't in the shower. Instead, I found my daughter and her boyfriend in the shower, making out. There was an awkward moment of silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 237

You deserved it 10 342

By Hunterxx - 07/08/2010 05:21 - United States

Today, my husband thought it'd be funny to trigger the alarm in the house while I was sleeping. Shocked, I ran outside naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 758

You deserved it 7 235

Timing

By kay_jay1819 - 19/11/2010 05:04 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I had great sex and afterward decided to take a shower together. He left the room to get some towels, so I went to the bathroom and wait. I walked out of his room wearing nothing but a thong and ran into his mom who had come home from work early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 999

You deserved it 33 479

Next

Top comments

DarkHelmet 10

Tuesday 26 April 2011 22:14

Your husband is awesome. Your step mom is probably jealous now

copo37 7

Tuesday 26 April 2011 22:16

Tell your step mother thats her cue to leave unless she wants to help with "embracing" his hardness.

Comments

ilovecupcakes98 0

Wednesday 27 April 2011 5:06

I wanna see your peacock, ****, ****...no?

BellStarr90 0

Wednesday 27 April 2011 5:12

lmfao that is hilarious!!

banna2286 0

Wednesday 27 April 2011 5:15

embrace the Martian kid cudi

Kawboy 1

Wednesday 27 April 2011 5:19

sounds like your husband has a little too much fun in the shower!

bzett 0

Wednesday 27 April 2011 5:19

Guess your step-mom wont be visiting anytime soon!

blake4months 0

Wednesday 27 April 2011 5:19

hi mom

laniwaa 2

Wednesday 27 April 2011 5:21

OMG!! wat did she say?!???!??!?!!?!?

SnailJamsss 6

Wednesday 27 April 2011 5:33

His mom used to clean his penis all the time!!

FMLsOhilarious 6

Wednesday 27 April 2011 5:45

Your husband is awesome! Win for him!

Pebbles1290 8

Wednesday 27 April 2011 5:47

agreed lol

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I agree, your life sucks 12

You deserved it 18

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 482

You deserved it 11 506

The Top

Today, for the 50,000th time, I was told that something I said was offensive and triggering to my LGBTQ+-friendly Discord server mod, who frequently tells me that, as a "cis hetero Christian male", I don't know what I'm talking about. I was trying to be supportive of everyone, but I was wrong because *I* said it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 886

You deserved it 369

Today, my boyfriend had a tantrum because I didn't like Black Sabbath as much as him. Apparently our entire relationship was based on him thinking I did. I've now been labeled "The Queen of Lies." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 536

You deserved it 3 258

Today, I went to a Christmas market with a guy. Not only did he buy himself a hot chocolate, he made me pay for his pancakes, which he threw away halfway through. He took me to a bar after ,just to get himself a nice cocktail, and free tap water for me. Nice date, right? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 150

You deserved it 267

Today, I was at the laundromat doing laundry with my mom when the guy running the place asked if we were "together". I thought this was just because of Covid and social distancing, but it turns out he thought my mom was my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 817

You deserved it 98

Today, my coworker was telling me about his mom, when he asked about mine. I told him that I've never met my mom, because she died during my childbirth. It's a very painful subject for me, but all the same, my coworkers have decided they'll now only address me as "Tyrion". FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 336

You deserved it 4 558

Today, a friend of mine had a Wii party and made everyone into Miis. My Mii had freckles. I don't have freckles. When I commented on it, she said, "Well, there isn't a zit feature." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 460

You deserved it 6 104