Health: Today, my husband stabbed me with his unusually long, nasty toenails...

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By ewww - 03/12/2009 05:59 - United States

Today, my husband stabbed me with his unusually long, nasty toenails in the leg while he slept. It took 3 stitches to fix it up, my husband and doctor laughed the entire time. He still refuses to cut them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 399

You deserved it 3 881

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Same thing different taste

By fububc - 05/02/2010 15:14 - France

Today, I went out for a smoke before dinner. I glanced through the window only to see my husband take my cooking scissors, cut his toe nails and then put them back in the utensils canister without washing them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 839

You deserved it 6 425

Hobbit feet

By Anonymous - 11/05/2025 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad has such thick, horn like toenails that when I stepped on one of the cuttings, it actually stabbed into the thinner skin on the underside of my toe and bled like crazy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 418

You deserved it 66

STOOOOP

By Patoose - 16/08/2016 20:54 - Canada - Montreal

Today, I had surgery done to fix an ingrown toenail. When the doctor started cutting the nail, my toe wasn't entirely numb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 908

You deserved it 1 435

Handle with care

By Bad day to be my toes - 08/12/2024 09:00 - United States - Steele

Today, I noticed one of my toenails was getting super long, so I cut it. In doing so, I accidentally ripped it off and it started bleeding. As I went to get something to stop it from bleeding, I got a huge splinter in my little toe, causing a painful infection. I think I should just go back to bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 349

You deserved it 185

Gross idea

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, my husband and I got into a fight because I refused to let him use my fingernail to clean the plaque off his teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 227

You deserved it 3 040

By wtf - 30/01/2015 09:00 - United States - Dearborn

Today, I walked into my bedroom to find my boyfriend clipping his toe nails into my pillow case. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 607

You deserved it 2 658

By FitnessFirst - 25/11/2015 00:38 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I painfully watched my doctor burn a hole in my nail to drain the blood underneath. This is the prescribed treatment for the injury of hammering your thumb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 186

You deserved it 3 279

By Anonymous - 26/10/2018 17:30

Today, years after I stepped on a nail and had the wound stitched, I got an X-ray. I've had serious trouble walking, and it turns out I had 2.5 inches of nail living in the sole of my foot, stabbing up into my ankle joint. I now need major surgery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 891

You deserved it 229

My day off

By Anonymous - 08/02/2024 23:00

Today, I was finally able to get around to a totally free day when I could do some much needed DIY around the house. Before I even started, I cut my hand on a Stanley knife almost to the bone, and had to get 8 stitches. My wife thinks I did it on purpose to get out of doing the repairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 541

You deserved it 135

This is why we can't have nice things.

By Anonymous - 29/09/2017 20:00

Today, my husband brought home a machete. In the process of showing me a trick he learned, he managed to slice a nice big hole in our brand new very expensive sectional. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 215

You deserved it 448

GR3453m0nk3y 4

Thursday 3 December 2009 12:41

SLIP SOMETHING IN HIS DRINK AND THEN CUT THEM sorry about the caps, i'd fix it but im too lazy

aback 4

Thursday 3 December 2009 12:49

Make him sleep on the couch. Or the porch, if you don't have a couch.

Comments

perdix 29

Thursday 3 December 2009 20:00

Why are you so sure he was sleeping? Maybe he just hates you.

herehaveabandaid 2

Thursday 3 December 2009 20:22

It seems to me that you have three options, which I'm sure have all been said already, I just thought I'd sum it up for you: 1) Cut his toenails while he sleeps. 2) Put him in the doghouse - that means couch, porch, etc. and a definite withholding of sex. 3) Find something that bothers him and use it as leverage, i.e. if he hates you nagging him to pick up his underwear from the floor, agree to let him leave it there if he'll cut his toenails. Personally, I'm a fan of the first two, more because I think the results would be funnier, but option three seems like an actual solution. Think about it.