Intimacy: Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat...

By Anonymous - 01/12/2014 17:55 - United States

Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 736

You deserved it 15 210

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 07/05/2016 01:40 - United States - Walnut

Today, I walked in on my mom in the bathroom, washing a dildo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 288

You deserved it 2 451

Sharing is caring

By Can't Unsee - 25/08/2018 22:00

Today, my mother found my sex toys. To make me "feel better" she showed me hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 182

You deserved it 578

By tracy4191 - 18/09/2016 05:21 - United States - Ponchatoula

Today, I found out my mom sleeps in my room when I'm at college during the week. I discovered this my bumping into her dildo with my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 558

You deserved it 737

Old prude

By Anonymous - 25/09/2023 22:00

Today, my dumbass self left my DIY dildo on the sink and my mom found it and threw it away. She called me a whore, who'll be "fucking around with a new partner each night." FML

I agree, your life sucks 463

You deserved it 305

By BrokenVow - 30/07/2009 12:02 - Canada

Today, my mom came into my room to have a heart-to-heart talk. My dildo was sitting on the nightstand. I didn't notice until she told me to make sure the dog didn't get it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 982

You deserved it 53 802

By bottomdrawerraider - 17/11/2010 17:13 - United States

Today, my mother was over visiting. My three year old ran out of my room chasing the cat with his toy. He smacked the cat with it, the cat scratched him, he dropped it and ran away. I was busy with the baby so I asked my mom to take the toy away. She walked back holding my pink dildo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 065

You deserved it 12 201

Great chat!

By eric - 16/03/2011 07:31 - United States

Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 236

You deserved it 96 461

By mster233 - 09/10/2010 03:29 - United States

Today, I found out that my parents like rough sex. I found the whip and handcuffs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 345

You deserved it 5 828

Oh no.

By Anonymous - 07/01/2018 01:30

Today, while cleaning out my daughter's closet, I found my missing dildo. It's a mold of my husband's penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 381

You deserved it 1 667

By Sarah - 25/08/2009 16:04 - United Kingdom

Today, my mother was cleaning out my underwear drawer and found my vibrator. Everytime I see her in the hall, she just cracks up and makes jokes about how I can't get a guy, so I have to rely on electronics. What's worse, she told my dad AND posted a status on facebook about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 654

You deserved it 10 420

austincain117 16

Monday 1 December 2014 22:38

I guess having a ***** is a dildont ha get it? no... okay...

emissy 14

Monday 1 December 2014 22:39

I, personally, would not touch someone else's *****

Comments

mad21 9

Wednesday 3 December 2014 3:53

At least she didnt catch u using it

Tsukiyomi 16

Wednesday 3 December 2014 12:33

It looks like that *puts on sunglasses* was a ****-slap

therealtixe 8

Wednesday 3 December 2014 15:12

haha shes super jealous!!! they did not have that toy when she was your age! ?

chrisstachon 30

Wednesday 3 December 2014 17:05

lmfao neighbors anyone?

luverofakatsuki 16

Wednesday 3 December 2014 21:47

wtf shouldnt she be happy your not sleeping around with the possibility of getting pregnant?! 0.0

kyotoelite021 1

Wednesday 3 December 2014 22:48

What would of happen if she found the anal beads?

Fishin_for_Coins 7

Wednesday 3 December 2014 23:48

Did you get it back...?

MaddieDtragedies 8

Thursday 4 December 2014 9:34

Mine told me i need god

lilbutton3 17

Thursday 4 December 2014 11:30

That's...really gross

KingNeil 2

Friday 5 December 2014 21:28

that is the funniest image that has ever gone through my head

Keywords

Kids Money Health Work Christmas You're fired Fat Bodyshaming Customers Love Am I overreacting? Facebook Social Media AITA Poopoo peepee Embarrassing Miscellaneous Education Relatable Students Technology Mental health Romantic Break-ups Annoying Gross Argument Ironic Awkward Friends

The Top

Today, at work at an OB office, I heard a ruckus in the hallway before a very large woman burst into my room and tried to attack my very pregnant patient. Crazy lady is the wife of the pregnant lady’s baby daddy, who is nowhere to be found. I don’t get paid enough for this shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 499

You deserved it 64

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Feeling goofy, I thought it’d be funny to try to reenact that horrible sex scene from the movie Showgirls. I threw my body back, but completely lost my balance and smashed my head on the headboard. I ended up with a bad concussion and a huge hospital bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 839

You deserved it 2 157

The Top

Today, I was feeling really down and my boyfriend refused to be there for me. It’s funny because a couple of months ago he was going through the same thing and I did everything I could to comfort him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 496

You deserved it 122

Today, I was going to my first job interview since I was laid off. About 10 yards from the door, I felt a sharp pain in my side and something in my pocket. It turned out to be a knife in my side, and a mugger robbing me because I looked rich. I haven't had any money in months, and missed the interview. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 943

You deserved it 2 892

Today, I found out that the coworker I’d been crushing on told me he was gay so I wouldn’t hit on him anymore. Turns out he did that so he could focus on wooing a female coworker of mine. They’re now dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 682

You deserved it 691

Today, I wanted to try seducing my boyfriend by having nothing but a t-shirt on for when he'd get back from work. He came home, saw me, apologized bashfully for failing to knock first, and went back outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 139

You deserved it 7 129

Today, while working at the bar, I accidentally spilled a beer on my chest. Several drunk men whistled and seemed to enjoy what they saw so much that they bought even more drinks and started coming onto me. My boss asked if I could do it again on my next shift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 825

You deserved it 2 783

Today my mother met my in-laws for the first time. She had been an alcoholic and had us sent to foster care 15 years ago. My husband told his parents this behind my back a while ago. When they asked her about it, she denied everything. His entire family now thinks I lie for attention. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 953

You deserved it 4 317