Intimacy: Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat...

By Anonymous - 01/12/2014 17:55 - United States

Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 736

You deserved it 15 210

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 07/05/2016 01:40 - United States - Walnut

Today, I walked in on my mom in the bathroom, washing a dildo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 288

You deserved it 2 451

Sharing is caring

By Can't Unsee - 25/08/2018 22:00

Today, my mother found my sex toys. To make me "feel better" she showed me hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 182

You deserved it 578

By tracy4191 - 18/09/2016 05:21 - United States - Ponchatoula

Today, I found out my mom sleeps in my room when I'm at college during the week. I discovered this my bumping into her dildo with my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 558

You deserved it 737

Old prude

By Anonymous - 25/09/2023 22:00

Today, my dumbass self left my DIY dildo on the sink and my mom found it and threw it away. She called me a whore, who'll be "fucking around with a new partner each night." FML

I agree, your life sucks 463

You deserved it 305

By BrokenVow - 30/07/2009 12:02 - Canada

Today, my mom came into my room to have a heart-to-heart talk. My dildo was sitting on the nightstand. I didn't notice until she told me to make sure the dog didn't get it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 982

You deserved it 53 802

By bottomdrawerraider - 17/11/2010 17:13 - United States

Today, my mother was over visiting. My three year old ran out of my room chasing the cat with his toy. He smacked the cat with it, the cat scratched him, he dropped it and ran away. I was busy with the baby so I asked my mom to take the toy away. She walked back holding my pink dildo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 065

You deserved it 12 201

Great chat!

By eric - 16/03/2011 07:31 - United States

Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 236

You deserved it 96 461

By mster233 - 09/10/2010 03:29 - United States

Today, I found out that my parents like rough sex. I found the whip and handcuffs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 345

You deserved it 5 828

Oh no.

By Anonymous - 07/01/2018 01:30

Today, while cleaning out my daughter's closet, I found my missing dildo. It's a mold of my husband's penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 381

You deserved it 1 667

By Sarah - 25/08/2009 16:04 - United Kingdom

Today, my mother was cleaning out my underwear drawer and found my vibrator. Everytime I see her in the hall, she just cracks up and makes jokes about how I can't get a guy, so I have to rely on electronics. What's worse, she told my dad AND posted a status on facebook about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 654

You deserved it 10 420

austincain117 16

Monday 1 December 2014 22:38

I guess having a ***** is a dildont ha get it? no... okay...

emissy 14

Monday 1 December 2014 22:39

I, personally, would not touch someone else's *****

Comments

buttyounoticed 16

Tuesday 2 December 2014 19:37

Perhaps you should find a better hiding spot for it? Or keep it with you.

Evil_Wench 16

Tuesday 2 December 2014 22:43

Please, PLEASE, can somebody illustrate this one!

lloydie639 2

Tuesday 2 December 2014 23:06

Beat you with, I must have been a double ender.....

funkychicken245 5

Tuesday 2 December 2014 23:41

Tell your mom to stop playing Vice City.

token_blackguy 18

Wednesday 3 December 2014 0:11

I hope someone illustrates this one.

LeDieu_fml 1

Wednesday 3 December 2014 1:20

Did she use it afterwards?

oatmeal96 10

Wednesday 3 December 2014 1:46

Reminds me of Saints Row 3 XD... But seriously having a ***** is a hell of a lot better than getting prego

FISHY15 5

Wednesday 3 December 2014 2:23

This is easily a dirty cat fight. Guys didn't she deserve it

JudgeComrade 17

Wednesday 3 December 2014 2:49

Learn from the experience and get a bendy one next time.

laaryssa 21

Wednesday 3 December 2014 3:34

If you're old enough to have one ima assuming you're old enough to buy one and if you make your own money it's none of her damn business

Keywords

Money Health Kids Christmas You're fired Work Bodyshaming Customers Fat Social Media Love Facebook Am I overreacting? AITA Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Relatable Students Technology Education Mental health Romantic Break-ups Annoying Gross Ironic Argument Friends Awkward

The Top

Today, my boyfriend of a year told me he is at the point in his life where he is ready to start a family, get married and have a baby. He also casually stated that he wished he could meet someone he could see himself settling down with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 335

You deserved it 4 257

Today, my husband was eating me out when he suddenly lifted up my hips and started licking my asshole. I screamed for him to stop, since it was disgusting. I don't think I can ever have sex again. I can't believe I married someone who would do that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74

You deserved it 244

The Top

Today, my girlfriend of over a year woke me up at 4:30 in the morning by sticking her hand down my pants. She immediately stopped when I was awake enough to reciprocate and said, "I couldn't sleep. I was bored. Talk to me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 966

You deserved it 823

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It was also the first time he'd ever had sex. How could I tell? He cried all the way through, and called his parents right after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 289

You deserved it 6 901

Today, my support worker gave me tampons and baby milk powder as part of my food parcel. The only thing is I can't have kids, I don't have kids, and I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 99

Today, someone left sticky notes with inspirational messages on everyone's locker. Well, almost everyone. My locker was the only one without a note. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 613

You deserved it 1 928

Today, after months of job hunting, I got a call back for a position. I was outside at the time and had no pen or paper available to write the address down. I told the guy to call me back in 5 minutes and he agreed. It's been 3 hours and still no call. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 021

You deserved it 30 532

Today, my girlfriend showered ten times, used an entire tube of deodorant, and continued to stink. It’s been like this for the past week, despite it being cold outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 823

You deserved it 123