Intimacy: Today, my mom had one too many and announced to all of my friends...

By Anonymous - 17/06/2009 04:25 - United States

Today, my mom had one too many and announced to all of my friends that, if she had the opportunity, she would bang Gwen Stefani. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 944

You deserved it 4 700

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Same thing different taste

By DaoOfPow - 23/05/2015 07:51 - United States - Danbury

Today, my mom told me I'm the reason she's going to kill herself one day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 291

You deserved it 3 230

You hypocrite

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my mother lectured me about going to the bar too often. She did this while rolling a joint. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 062

You deserved it 6 554

By Bechara - 13/06/2011 09:11 - Pakistan

Today, I overheard my girlfriend telling her friend, "Actually, it's a good thing she died, she was quite a bitch." She was talking about my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 558

You deserved it 4 519

Thanks mom

By Anonymous - 14/02/2021 14:01 - Colombia

Today, my mom decided it was a good idea to remind me about my non-existent sex life while all the family was having dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 040

You deserved it 108

By Anonymous - 18/06/2009 07:17 - United States

Today, I saw myself in a 'girls gone wild' ad with another girl. So did my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 189

You deserved it 119 375

By FunTimes - 19/08/2019 04:00 - Canada

Today, my mom got drunk and tried to push me off a ladder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 684

You deserved it 122

By peacock_mina19 - 11/02/2009 00:08 - United States

Today, my mother and I got into a huge fight about me being a lesbian. It ended with me saying "Fuck you!" to which she responded: "I bet you'd probably like to." FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 009

You deserved it 27 170

By Anonymous - 06/01/2011 16:46 - United Kingdom

Today, I had a show with my drama group. My mom isn't a good drunk, she decided to scream along to every song and pass out halfway through. She was in the front row. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 368

You deserved it 2 699

By feartheend511 - 19/08/2010 15:48 - United States

Today, while my friends were over, my mom took too many of her pills and walked around the house nude. She then bit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 160

You deserved it 3 658

By Anonymous - 09/05/2014 23:57 - United States - Akron

Today, my mom got drunk and started crying, ranting about all the things she could have done in life if I hadn't been born. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 441

You deserved it 4 151

Peroxide 3

Wednesday 17 June 2009 12:32

That shit is BANANAS!

akiro525 3

Wednesday 17 June 2009 12:38

who wouldn't?

Comments

fuckmyparents 0

Thursday 18 June 2009 7:56

If my mom did that I'd just get up and agree with her! Sounds like an awesome mom!

teaset 0

Thursday 18 June 2009 8:17

This FML sucks! How did it even get accepted?

Helloloki 0

Thursday 18 June 2009 8:26

Okay I really don't see the problem here. I am a happily married woman and i would shout it to the world that i want to bang Gwen Stefani. You need to loosen up and quit being such a prude!

oxambernic0le 0

Thursday 18 June 2009 9:01

Lmao i thought it was funny you guys are too uptight

rixtonn 0

Thursday 18 June 2009 10:18

hahahaha!

DieterDerBlau 0

Thursday 18 June 2009 12:54

RIGHT ON FOR MOM!!!!!

kelseykazooTM 0

Thursday 18 June 2009 17:13

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHHAH;; omg im like dying right now... thats awesome.

hellosailorr 0

Thursday 18 June 2009 19:41

lollll i love your mum.

inarticulate 0

Thursday 18 June 2009 21:13

That's funny though. If I was your friend, I would just laugh.

organic43 0

Friday 19 June 2009 2:45

IDGI

Keywords

Thanksgiving Politics Holidays Miscellaneous Family Transportation AITA Am I overreacting? Cars Cheating Suspicious Contraception Love Pregnancy Scary Christmas Sex Awkward Weddings Singing Embarrassing My ex Jealousy Friends Poopoo peepee Health Relatable Mental health Therapy Argument

The Top

Today, I was chatting with a co-worker, and she mentioned she has trouble swallowing pills. I replied that I'm lucky, because I have next to no gag reflex. Half the guys at the other registers abruptly went silent, and I'm now being constantly hit on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 203

You deserved it 17 042

Today, I found out my fiancé has been sleeping with his therapist behind my back. If that wasn't bad enough on its own, I'd talked him into starting therapy six months ago to help with his mental health troubles, and have been mostly paying for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 374

You deserved it 229

The Top

Today, as I walked out the door to head to class, my neighbour's kid threw a balloon at me, filled with some kind of foul-smelling liquid that he calls "liquid ass". I had a presentation 20 minutes later and couldn't get the smell off myself in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 547

You deserved it 3 080

Today, I surprised my boyfriend at work, only to notice that his neck was covered in hickies. The night before, he texted me saying he needed alone time to get his mind together. Looks like he got together with another mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 716

You deserved it 3 340

Today, I was promoted to vice president of my company. I gave a speech explaining how I intended to run things more transparently. When I bent down to pick up my folder, my pants split. Somebody said, "Powerpuff girls panties. Transparent indeed." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 616

You deserved it 290

Today, my mother-in-law showed up unexpectedly, made passive aggressive comments to my kids in front of me about how we need a bigger place to live, and asked questions about our income. We're actually trying to move soon, and just hadn't told them yet so they wouldn't try to follow us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 935

You deserved it 84

Today, I had to present a project for my science class. I began explaining my project; looking at all the bored people, I got incredibly nervous. My nervousness then caused me to laugh hysterically, causing my classmates to laugh. My teacher felt sorry for me and told me to sit down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 742

You deserved it 4 261

Today, I was issued with a £60 fine for being parked in a supermarket car-park for more than 3 hours. I work there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 349

You deserved it 2 474

Same thing different taste

You hypocrite

Thanks mom

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