Intimacy: Today, my mom had one too many and announced to all of my friends... - FML

By Anonymous - 17/06/2009 04:25 - United States

Spicy

Today, my mom had one too many and announced to all of my friends that, if she had the opportunity, she would bang Gwen Stefani. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 945

You deserved it 4 702

Valentine's Day: Love and Maladresse
Discover romantic anecdotes with a touch of awkwardness - because nothing expresses love better than a little discomfort! More…

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Same thing different taste

By DaoOfPow - 23/05/2015 07:51 - United States - Danbury

Today, my mom told me I'm the reason she's going to kill herself one day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 301

You deserved it 3 234

You hypocrite

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my mother lectured me about going to the bar too often. She did this while rolling a joint. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 065

You deserved it 6 556

By Bechara - 13/06/2011 09:11 - Pakistan

Today, I overheard my girlfriend telling her friend, "Actually, it's a good thing she died, she was quite a bitch." She was talking about my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 562

You deserved it 4 521

Thanks mom

By Anonymous - 14/02/2021 14:01 - Colombia

Spicy

Today, my mom decided it was a good idea to remind me about my non-existent sex life while all the family was having dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 050

You deserved it 112

By Anonymous - 18/06/2009 07:17 - United States

Spicy

Today, I saw myself in a 'girls gone wild' ad with another girl. So did my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 190

You deserved it 119 382

By FunTimes - 19/08/2019 04:00 - Canada

Today, my mom got drunk and tried to push me off a ladder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 688

You deserved it 123

By peacock_mina19 - 11/02/2009 00:08 - United States

Spicy

Today, my mother and I got into a huge fight about me being a lesbian. It ended with me saying "Fuck you!" to which she responded: "I bet you'd probably like to." FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 018

You deserved it 27 176

By Anonymous - 06/01/2011 16:46 - United Kingdom

Today, I had a show with my drama group. My mom isn't a good drunk, she decided to scream along to every song and pass out halfway through. She was in the front row. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 370

You deserved it 2 699

By feartheend511 - 19/08/2010 15:48 - United States

Today, while my friends were over, my mom took too many of her pills and walked around the house nude. She then bit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 163

You deserved it 3 658

By Anonymous - 09/05/2014 23:57 - United States - Akron

Today, my mom got drunk and started crying, ranting about all the things she could have done in life if I hadn't been born. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 444

You deserved it 4 152

Next

Top comments

Peroxide 3

Wednesday 17 June 2009 12:32

That shit is BANANAS!

akiro525 3

Wednesday 17 June 2009 12:38

who wouldn't?

Comments

Artur_fml 0

Wednesday 17 June 2009 14:44

everyone's mom would bang Gwen Stefani.

MetalCraze 11

Wednesday 17 June 2009 15:00

your mom is awesome lol

hahayou12345 0

Wednesday 17 June 2009 15:31

your mom is so cute.

regalarius 0

Wednesday 17 June 2009 15:35

I'm glad I'm not the only one whose reaction is "Yeah, I would too." Wouldn't be surprised if my mom would either. :-)

fuzzybunnysays 0

Wednesday 17 June 2009 15:50

No kidding!! I've had discussions with my mom about our "lesbian crushes." Mine's Alessandra Ambrosio and hers is Ali Larter hahaha nothing wrong with being straight and finding other women gorgeous... Which includes Gwen Stefani :)

antbait11 0

Wednesday 17 June 2009 15:56

at least your mom has good taste.. if she said condoleeza rice or something, thaaat's when you start saying FML

pleasetryagain 0

Wednesday 17 June 2009 16:11

I'm getting tired of the FMLs about parents that would not be FMLs if anyone else in the world did or said them. Just because it's your mom you don't have to get so uptight, she's not! YDI for being so much less cool than your mom.

CareBlair 0

Wednesday 17 June 2009 16:29

So would I. Your point?

x0aka0x 0

Wednesday 17 June 2009 16:34

hot?

scarlett29 0

Wednesday 17 June 2009 16:35

Haha, I like this one.

rukusrazor 0

Wednesday 17 June 2009 16:36

"hush-hush darling, hush-hush darling, dont' tell me cuz it hurts.." *sigh, I got nuthin*

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Sleep Awkward Love Weddings Television Money Relatable Snow Transportation Annoying Family Kids Pregnancy Mental health Empathy Toxic Food Animals Cats Argument Gamers Health Valentine's Day Gross Homeowners Home improvement Babysitter Drugs Music

The Top

Today, I saw my ex, who had dumped me for not being “ambitious” enough. I'd said she was just a gold digger and would die alone. She looked amazing at the fanciest, most expensive restaurant in town, and was celebrating being made partner at her law firm. I was bussing tables. FML

I agree, your life sucks 132

You deserved it 698

Today, I made the mistake of being competent at chores, so according to my wife I’m trying to show her up, because I don’t appreciate her contribution to the household, and I secretly think she’s useless, blah blah. I had a day off so I cleaned the kitchen and bathroom. Lock me up, I’m guilty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 517

You deserved it 66

The Top

Today, while working my overnight shift, I went into the isolation room to find some items for a former client. The door fell shut and the magnetic lock went to work. Both unit telephones and my cell phone were lying on the desk, and I waited four hours for my supervisor to rescue me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 691

You deserved it 4 847

Today, my date turned up with her baby. Funny she never mentioned she was a single mom. She went to the bathroom and left the baby with me. Can you see where this is going? Yep, security footage showed that she walked out without looking back. I had to give the baby to the police. Shame on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 812

You deserved it 102

Today, my boyfriend gave me his theory on how the world would be a better place if Hitler had won the 2nd World War. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 942

You deserved it 6 616

Today, I was feeling saucy so I sent my boyfriend a picture of my boobs. He then set it as his laptop's desktop screen, took a picture, then sent to me saying, "Hmm, should probably change this before Monday", only he didn't send it me, he sent to his family group chat with his mum and sisters and didn't realise. Everyone saw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 059

You deserved it 441

Today, while at the airport with a cast on my leg, I fell backwards onto my suitcase. My family was too busy to notice my squirming as I tried to get up, so a kind woman awkwardly helped me off the ground. Later on, I found out my dad saw me but thought someone would help me "soon enough." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 758

You deserved it 948

Today, my teenage son gave me the completed manuscript of the novel he's been working on for 4 years. Surprised and excited that he showed so much dedication to something, I volunteered to read it. I'm only on page 16 and it's absolute drivel, with grammar that makes my eyes bleed. Only 281 pages to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 502

You deserved it 6 678