Intimacy: Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. She didnt look away...

By ShadowJack - 29/04/2012 15:10 - United States

Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. She didnt look away and we stared at each other for a while; then she asked me what I wanted from McDonalds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 486

You deserved it 9 785

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Same thing different taste

Redhanded

By Anonymous - 23/11/2021 06:00 - Philippines - Roxas

Today, my mom came in my bedroom without knocking, even though I'd told her to, and caught me masturbating. She stood there in awkward silence before saying, "…Dinner's ready at 6." and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 376

You deserved it 459

Play it cool

By Fraser - 08/03/2012 19:03 - Canada

Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 203

You deserved it 56 647

How could you?

By Anonymous - 29/03/2024 10:00 - United States

Today, my mom walked in on me jerking it in her bathroom. I'm a 40 year-old man and she's 68. FML

I agree, your life sucks 189

You deserved it 853

Great chat!

By eric - 16/03/2011 07:31 - United States

Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 236

You deserved it 96 461

My eyes! My eyes!

By Audrey - 21/07/2020 14:01

Today, I walked in on my mom masturbating. I want to run away. I feel violated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 712

You deserved it 672

By Cynical - 30/03/2009 03:49 - United States

Today, I was in my room with the door locked and my mom knocked on the door. I said "don't come in, i'm naked!" She said "That's okay!" so she unlocked the door and walked in. I was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 95 210

You deserved it 37 102

By Anonymous - 14/09/2012 05:28 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I walked in on my mother rubbing one out. For the third time. I then had to explain to her, also for the third time, why pleasuring herself in the living room is inappropriate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 102

You deserved it 2 791

By anonymous - 24/12/2014 23:56 - United States

Today, as I walked into McDonald's with my mom, she glanced at me and said, "Smells like your future." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 009

You deserved it 3 987

By Isabell - 06/02/2010 05:31 - Australia

Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 770

You deserved it 5 870

Knock first!

By Anonymous - 19/09/2023 06:00

Today, I needed to ask my mom for something, so I went to her room without knocking and walked in on her and her boyfriend fucking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120

You deserved it 893

SkoomaKi 27

Sunday 29 April 2012 20:06

You should have finished like a man in front of her. What's even more awkward is that she stared. Incest?

sparklemuffin 8

Sunday 29 April 2012 20:05

lol what a win

Comments

ed1970 6

Sunday 29 April 2012 22:18

How about a breakfast jack? I know that's not McDonalds, I'm just saying...

Calyx_fml 21

Sunday 29 April 2012 22:19

Why is it that teenage boys never catch their mom masturbating? It's always the other way around.

perdix 29

Monday 30 April 2012 1:22

Because the moms have 20+ years experience of diddling themselves, so they know how to do it without detection.

B3Y0ND 3

Sunday 29 April 2012 22:27

A girlfriend.

crew0411 0

Sunday 29 April 2012 22:29

i feel ya

Zachthejoker 10

Sunday 29 April 2012 22:36

Awkward

llello1987 0

Sunday 29 April 2012 22:45

You should have asked her to squeeze her ******* together

tvhsprodigy 3

Sunday 29 April 2012 23:12

Why would you say that?!?!?

tvhsprodigy 3

Sunday 29 April 2012 22:52

That would suck :/

ELL10TT203 0

Sunday 29 April 2012 23:09

OMG!

llamafish 25

Sunday 29 April 2012 23:15

This should say "didn't", not "didnt"...

blackvyper 8

Sunday 29 April 2012 23:19

Bürger, no mayo.. you've produced enough.

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I agree, your life sucks 15 540

You deserved it 51 165

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I agree, your life sucks 1 994

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 1 974

You deserved it 136

Today, I found a gift card under my bed that I lost a few months ago for $400 to a store that went out of business last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 280

You deserved it 13 141

Today, my sister and I decided to do one of those online DNA tests just for fun. Our mom came in, saw all the stuff on the table, and lost her mind. She started bawling and apologizing. Apparently, neither one or neither of us actually belong to my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 390

You deserved it 120

Today, I slipped in a pile of vomit someone left for me on the train platform on the way to work, spraying puke all over both of my legs. It's only 6:30am. It's going to be a long day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 542

You deserved it 2 093

Today, I went into a music store to look into getting a new guitar. I picked up one that I was interested in and tried it out quietly. A sales representative approached me and asked me to "stop the noise and leave the guitars for serious customers." I've been playing for almost ten years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 847

You deserved it 6 021

Today, I was on the bus. I have a phobia of babies crying, and recently, whenever I've been on a long journey, there's been one and I've had an anxiety attack. There were no babies on this bus, just an old lady showing her friend videos of her screaming grandchild. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 655

You deserved it 539