Miscellaneous: Today, my phone got stolen at church. FML

By fffemaleee - 31/05/2015 18:21 - United States - Waterford

Today, my phone got stolen at church. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 272

You deserved it 3 965

November 11: Memories and smiles
Historical anecdotes with a light touch to commemorate with a respectful smile. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 19/09/2010 00:36 - Austria

Today, my bag, including phone, money, keys and cards, was stolen. In a church. During my wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 445

You deserved it 3 136

By Anonymous - 19/09/2011 02:16 - United States

Today, I went to evening Mass. I later found that sometime between entering the church and receiving Communion, someone had snatched my iPhone straight out of my handbag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 271

You deserved it 5 378

By Anonymous - 17/08/2012 16:45 - United States - Brighton

Today, while on vacation with my family, my mother told me to put my phone in her purse, so it wouldn't get stolen. Someone stole her purse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 223

You deserved it 2 241

By yermom - 13/12/2010 07:41 - United States

Today, I was entertaining people during an extra curricular school function in order to help "brighten people's spirits in their time of need." After it was all over, I found out that my phone had been stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 740

You deserved it 3 101

By Fuck irony - 29/10/2017 10:00 - United States - Binghamton

Today, I was volunteering at a soup kitchen and was advised to leave my wallet and cell phone in my car so they wouldn’t be stolen. Someone broke into my car and stole them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 994

You deserved it 509

By emily - 30/07/2009 08:58 - United States

Today, my cell phone was stolen. I work in a morgue. By myself. Obviously it wasn't stolen by any of those people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 075

You deserved it 4 310

Great timing

By alo1434 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I got mugged. As the guys who took my purse were about to walk away, my cellphone rang in my pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 005

You deserved it 3 371

By Shortround - 30/09/2012 12:56 - United States - Wheaton

Today, I had three things stolen: my phone, my iPod, and my girlfriend. All by the same guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 191

You deserved it 2 915

By foretwintie - 06/06/2009 11:18 - Canada

Today, while I was taking a break at work, someone stole my iPod from my desk. I work in a police station. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 212

You deserved it 8 283

By Anonymous - 09/06/2011 23:02 - United States

Today, my new iPhone was stolen from my school locker. After canceling my service, sobbing, having my mom yell at the secretary for their lack of security and finally agreeing to change to a private school, I found it in the corner of my locker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 055

You deserved it 81 293

WCARlover 34

Monday 1 June 2015 17:00

Reminds me of the “I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness" quote:(

abNormal62 23

Monday 1 June 2015 16:59

Have somebody dial your number and see if the ministers's pocket rings!

Comments

WCARlover 34

Monday 1 June 2015 17:00

Reminds me of the “I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness" quote:(

ScarredVox92 16

Monday 1 June 2015 20:25

Never heard that quote before reading it just now. Hilarious.

RickySleeves 20

Monday 1 June 2015 17:00

Well, that's rude.

dreadlocmask 15

Monday 1 June 2015 17:05

A couple of my DVDs were stolen from me at bible college

igg125 30

Monday 1 June 2015 17:10

thou shalt not steal

lumene 17

Monday 1 June 2015 23:53

Ah, who pays attention to rules anyway...

pleasedie 22

Monday 1 June 2015 17:12

You should've said that in the name of Jesus, no one was leaving until you got your phone back

icecoldfml 7

Monday 1 June 2015 17:12

Church goers are not thieves, but thieves can go to church... No honour amongst thieves you know?

omid379 14

Monday 1 June 2015 17:15

Hallelujah

TheTardis123 11

Monday 1 June 2015 17:23

Later that day.... Priest: "Such a generous donation in the box. A $600 iPhone!

SadSouthernBell 18

Monday 1 June 2015 17:24

Maybe you shouldn't have brought your phone to church.

Pandacupcakelove 26

Tuesday 2 June 2015 1:16

Or maybe the person at church shouldn't have stolen the phone.

thisisthestupid 18

Monday 1 June 2015 17:25

Same thing happened to me with my first iPhone! I feel ya OP!

Keywords

Miscellaneous TV shows Coworkers Work Awkward Politics Ironic Embarrassing Relatable Transportation Instagram Social Media Shopping Parenting Love AITA Am I overreacting? Jealousy Kids Friends Dogs Pranks Housework Cars Technology Porn Health Sports Accident Mental health

The Top

Today, I went to the grocery store, but once I'd filled my cart, I realized that I'd forgotten my wallet, and because I'm not the sort of animal who just dumps stuff in random aisles, I had to awkwardly put all my items back on their shelves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 849

You deserved it 202

Today, I was in the shower having a little fun with the detachable shower head. I didn’t know anyone else was home until I heard a toilet flush and scalding hot water flooded my cooch. I think I need to go to the ER, but I’m too embarrassed to ask for a ride there. I can’t walk or sit properly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 551

You deserved it 618

The Top

Today, I spent half an hour on the phone with four departments at my college due to a mistake on my tuition bill. The last guy I talked to told me to call the financial aid office and hung up before I could respond. That was the first office I called. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 681

You deserved it 161

Today, a lady called the candy store and wanted to know our ice cream flavors. We have 30 and I had a line of people to help, so I directed her to our new website. She called back, wanting me to walk her through finding it. I couldn't, as we're not allowed, so she called me useless. She showed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 737

You deserved it 1 010

Today, I attempted to snoop around my daughter’s room, because I suspect her of having sex with her boyfriend behind my back. Hoping to find the evidence, I went to her room as soon as she left for school. Turns out she rigged her bedroom door. With glitter. Uh oh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 242

You deserved it 2 896

Today, I found my daughter punching her brother repeatedly. Apparently, he'd put the wrong fuel in her van so after 20 years of him being a moron, she decided to beat the stupid out of him. Thing is it’s worked; he’s too bruised and scared of her to do anything, period, just in case. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 721

Today, I was out camping with my boyfriend and his friends. I asked my boyfriend to give me a roasted marshmallow, asking him if it was cooled down and he said yes. I put it in my mouth and it was piping hot. They all laughed to the point of tears, all while videoing me screaming and running in agony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 168

You deserved it 290

Today, I tried out for cheerleading. The judges, two head cheerleaders, sized me up, burst out laughing and made fat jokes towards me. I fought back and called them, "twiggy fucking sluts." At that moment, the coach walked in and saw and reported me to the principal. The judges got off scott free. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 046

You deserved it 321

Same thing different taste

Great timing

Top comments

Comments