By Gurior - 16/04/2013 17:44 - Canada

Spicy
Today, my virginal girlfriend of a year graduated from veterinary school. She can shove her arm shoulder-deep up a cow's ass without blinking, but still feels too insecure to even touch my penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks 75 458
You deserved it 19 631

Gurior tells us more.

Gurior 4

This is brillant.

Carnival of Disasters
Dive into carnival, where hilarious costumes meet unexpected mishaps. Laughter is guaranteed, mask or no mask! More…
Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

simplysarcastics 26

Respect her values dude, if you love her enough you will wait. And loosing her virginity is much different than her job.

948 24
fuzz97 23

well, you can't get pregnant from a cow's ass

834 12

Comments

Megan639 16

Don't be a jackass, jackass.

8 2
redbandit9877 12

These things take time, and are very special to some people. Just be patient and everything will probably work out in the end!

7 0
SlapAndTickle 20

She's a virgin, respect that. If you can't be supportive then find someone else. I do have to say, she's been dating you for this long... be happy she's not sleeping on you with every guy in a 5 mile radius.

12 2
sajupt 17

She probably might, if someone showed her how to touch it...

0 10
havok87 11

If she's waiting for marriage, dump her. You always test drive the vehicle before making the down payment. It's how you make sure you don't get a lemon.

2 18
NagainaFier 16

As opposed to my wordy rant, I have decided to just down grade to one simple question; How well has that mindset been working out for ya, buddy? But seriously, people these days seem to forget it takes more than sexual compatibility to make a relationship work long term.

6 0
Azail 15

You sir are an asshole of epic proportions and frankly just another contaminant in the gene pool. Hope you don't have kids

1 0
HigherChamp 11

if you're saying her shoving her hand up a cows ass is sexual "you're going to have a bad time" lol

8 0
Pensu 12

How is that relevant at all? If all you can offer her is "having sex with me is less gross than fisting a cow!" then I can't say I fault her for waiting.

10 0
Ray_of_midnight 22

I think if it takes more than about a half-dozen dates for sex to happen, I'm gonna conclude the other party isn't interested and go elsewhere.

0 9
Ynasia 5

there's this thing called "waiting til marriage" that some people still practice...

8 5
Evolving_Squid 15

Heh, wait till marriage. Like sex is some special event like a cure for cancer.

3 7
noncom 12

Well by having sex before marriage, you lose all intimacy. You lose all of your secrets

0 6
Evolving_Squid 15

It takes a pretty pathetic human being to lose all chance of intimacy simply by having sex before some ceremony.

5 0
Iniezian 18

If you've been dating a long time, then you need to re-evaluate your relationship. If it looks like you won't be getting anything for the forseeable future, think hard about whether you are willing to wait for her, and if not, break up and move on. But NEVER, EVER try pressuring her into sex.

11 0