Health: Today, my wife is so determined to keep me on my diet that, as...

By hungry hungry harvey - 08/05/2016 16:56 - United States

Today, my wife is so determined to keep me on my diet that, as I'm off work for the next week, she has gotten rid of all the food in the house. She has also taken the phones and iPads so I can't order a takeaway, and taken all my trousers so I can't walk to the shops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 637

You deserved it 2 543

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 20/06/2014 23:53 - Canada - Surrey

Today, my husband decided that if he's not hungry, then I'm not allowed to make myself any food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 977

You deserved it 5 853

By anonymous - 08/10/2011 20:40 - United States

Today, to keep me from "getting fatter", my roommate raided the kitchen. She ate everything from cookies and ice cream to deli meat. The only thing left in the house are vegetables. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 561

You deserved it 17 497

Affection breakdown

By Anonymous - 19/12/2020 13:02 - United Kingdom - Boston

Today, my wife can't be bothered to do anything that isn't work, talk about her work, and sit on the sofa. Then she complains that I don't show any affection, when she can be bothered to even talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 885

You deserved it 143

Sensitive

By itsevenworse - 07/08/2021 00:01 - France

Today, my wife is giving me the silent treatment and has locked herself in the bedroom, all because I politely asked her to put the dishcloth away when she was done with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 684

You deserved it 152

Stir crazy, part 16

By Anonymous - 14/04/2020 05:00

Today, my wife was so sick of being isolated with the kids while I, a key worker, got to "escape" to work everyday, that she locked herself in our room and got completely trashed on my cider, meaning I had to stay at home with the kids instead of helping my elderly patients. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 205

You deserved it 519

Sounds like a plan

By Billybob - 28/07/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, I was meal-planning for the week, and sent my fiancee a grocery list with the stuff I needed. She ignored the list and bought nothing but junk food. I guess we can just eat cookie dough and sugar cereal, and die of diabetes in our fifties. FML

I agree, your life sucks 366

You deserved it 119

No fun allowed

By Anonymous - 14/11/2023 10:00

Today, my wife has declared that, unless our son has finished his homework, I'm not to watch TV, play video games, read, use my phone, cook, or go outside, lest I "tempt him" to leave his work unfinished. Guess I'll just stare at the wall all afternoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 517

You deserved it 247

Oooh, time for some Sweet and Sour King Prawn Balls

By Anonymous - 08/06/2024 11:00 - United Kingdom

Today, in a serious bid to lose weight, I’ve changed my lifestyle, including throwing away the 20-odd takeaway menus we keep in the kitchen. It’s only been two hours and we’ve already had five new menus from local takeaways delivered through the letterbox. Why, Universe, why do you wish me to stay fat? FML

I agree, your life sucks 261

You deserved it 343

Check out Mr. Moneybags over here!

By Anonymous - 08/07/2019 22:00

Today, I found out that my wife has been getting rid of every single item of clothing I didn’t compliment her on. This has probably cost me thousands already. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 706

You deserved it 425

By Mimi - 16/04/2013 01:35 - United States - Vallejo

Today, my husband told me that he thinks I am getting a little heavy and may need to lay off the junk food. The ultrasound is hanging on our fridge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 783

You deserved it 5 757

fushengyuan 20

Monday 9 May 2016 12:28

Im pretty sure if u can access fml, u can order food online:)

crankawank 19

Monday 9 May 2016 12:23

I wonder if your wife is super controlling or if you have demonstrated a severe lack of self control •_•

Comments

Ging3rSnap 9

Monday 9 May 2016 20:55

Is your wife Kathy Bates?

DanielleinDC 33

Monday 9 May 2016 21:00

That sounds abusive and control-freaky. How are you going to eat without any food in the house?

takeittoem 8

Monday 9 May 2016 21:27

If you really are that opposed to the diet, it's never going to work anyway, and your wife is ******' psycho. If you are really in favor of the diet, and you just have so little self-control that you actually agreed to this with your wife, then FYL indeed! So either way, FYL OP.

Shalnar 6

Monday 9 May 2016 21:30

Your wife is amazing.

sandman676 20

Monday 9 May 2016 22:10

Sweet I'd love that

blackrose1996 11

Monday 9 May 2016 22:39

I'd walk to the damn store In boxers your an adult tell her to treat you like one

izzajaneful 24

Tuesday 10 May 2016 1:07

The last sentence of this made the whole story so much better.

LetMeSleepPlease 23

Tuesday 10 May 2016 3:56

If I were you, I'd seriously reconsider my marriage. If there's one thing I hate, it's being treated like a child. And it sounds like you aren't too keen on it either. Honestly, this behavior can even be abusive in some circumstances, so it might be worthwhile to think long and hard about it. I hope by "all the food" you don't mean literally all of the food because if so that is definitely abusive. Wish you luck.