Kids: Today, my wife told our six year old daughter that the devil... - FML

By Anonymous - 01/09/2011 18:02 - United States

Today, my wife told our six year old daughter that the devil beats his wife whenever there's a rainbow. Now she won't stop crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 740

You deserved it 4 173

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Same thing different taste

By Nuts - 07/11/2015 02:55 - Canada - Grimsby

Today, my daughter told me she wanted to divorce me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 710

You deserved it 3 166

Hail Santa

By Holidayruined - 26/12/2021 10:59

Today, my 16 year-old son had a tantrum over me asking him to clean up his room, and decided to tell my 6 year-old daughter that Santa isn't real, and that it was me who bought her presents. My daughter is inconsolable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 197

You deserved it 240

By Cherie - 07/12/2010 18:25 - United States

Today, my daughter told my son that Santa is not real. Of course, being a child, he started to cry. My only problem is, my son is 11 and my daughter is 6. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 188

You deserved it 6 830

By thedancingtit - 07/06/2016 05:11 - United States - Eagle River

Today, I let my brother babysit my 6-year-old daughter. She learned 2 new words from him. One of them was "Hail" and the other one was "Satan". FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 060

You deserved it 2 345

By Anonymous - 30/10/2010 05:07 - New Zealand

Today, my daughter came up to me crying. When I asked her what was wrong, she told me that she had a fight with her imaginary boyfriend. She's 16. I raised this child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 810

You deserved it 12 124

By numbnuts - 23/09/2013 05:48 - Canada - Nanaimo

Today, my 2-year-old daughter overheard my wife and I arguing and fixated on one particular insult my wife threw at me. Now my daughter won't stop saying "Daddy a numbnuts", always with a big smile on her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 499

You deserved it 6 062

By lon01t - 07/05/2012 20:43 - United Kingdom - Falkirk

Today, my four-year-old daughter started screaming and lashing out at me as I was getting her ready for a bath. It seems my idiot husband told her she was still small enough to be feasted on by the "drain monster". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 293

You deserved it 2 647

Weird kid

By maria lucia - 05/04/2021 21:30

Today, my ten-year-old daughter now has a habit of going up to random strangers and acting all scared before pointing behind them and whispering, "El Diablo." FML

I agree, your life sucks 899

You deserved it 204

By FirstDaddy - 16/06/2014 21:38 - United States - Southfield

Today, my daughter told me that she liked her "other daddy" better. I don't know who's she talking about, but my wife is doing a good job telling her to be quiet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 293

You deserved it 4 479

Healthy family dynamic

By Matt - 20/03/2024 19:00 - Australia

Today, my wife screamed and threatened to leave me… again. She does this about once a year, in response to an argument that she feels frustrated by. We have three amazing children and we're mostly happy in between these outbursts. Today she did it in front of our 6 year-old, who is now crying about our family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 630

You deserved it 144

Next

Top comments

sydie5 12

Friday 2 September 2011 1:09

She will never look at Skittles the same again...

heyhihello95 12

Friday 2 September 2011 1:08

Now that kid will never be able to enjoy a rainbow, nice going.

Comments

hammingtonrhys 0

Friday 2 September 2011 3:26

Do you beat your wife?

tanksdad 0

Friday 2 September 2011 3:35

My grandma used to say when it was raining and the sun was shining at the same time it meant the devil was beating his wife.

ThatKidTyler 6

Friday 2 September 2011 3:41

Look behind you

bargarlm 2

Friday 2 September 2011 3:49

Um your wife is fubbed up in the head.

HU4L188 0

Friday 2 September 2011 3:49

Thats the funniest thing ive ever heard. Besides the fact that she told it to a six year old

ECL_333 0

Friday 2 September 2011 3:58

my aunt says that I grow up think that.

mmmmmmmmmmmmbeer 4

Friday 2 September 2011 3:58

Divorce her.. Then give me her number.. She sounds like my kind of woman! XD

falling4youxo 7

Friday 2 September 2011 3:58

Seems to me like your wife is the devil... Why would she do that?

nb22_fml 6

Friday 2 September 2011 4:02

WTF?

kafir 3

Friday 2 September 2011 4:04

this FML, more than any other, has taught me the danger of reading in traffic. nearly died i was laughing so hard. just because it's mean doesn't mean it isn't funny:)

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The Top

Today, my friend got a text showing his girlfriend cheating on him. Sounds like his FML, but he was at my house. He then worked his way through a bottle of my whisky and went into a drunken rage. He threw my furniture through windows, punched holes in the wall, and smashed stuff until I had to call the cops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 699

You deserved it 113

Today, I had sex with someone new for the first time after my 10 year relationship ended. The person was a friend who had been making serious sexual references toward me on and off over the year I've known him. I don't know if I'm more embarrassed that he couldn't keep it up, or that I came from anticipation anyways. FML

I agree, your life sucks 985

You deserved it 303

The Top

Today, I left hospital after a three-night stay. Whilst waiting for my taxi to arrive, my mother called me in hysterics wanting to know where I was, because the police had called her and told her I had gone missing. Turns out my doctor "forgot" to tell anyone that I was discharged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 591

You deserved it 3 291

Today, I taught a college course with a group of 30 adults. I was educating them on leadership and gave a 25 minute lecture, with examples like Rosa Parks and Martin Luther King, and how they changed the world. Then I opened the forum to see who inspired them. The response? Donald Trump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 924

You deserved it 4 852

Today, I got home from my holidays to find my flatmate has moved his girlfriend in without asking me. Not only does she walk around naked, she has also redecorated the rooms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 624

You deserved it 4 121

Today, I cleaned my toilet. I had forgotten it was white. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 238

You deserved it 49 178

Today, my dad came up behind me with a pair of scissors, and pretended to snip away at my hair. I was sure he was joking, so I just sat there and didn't react. Later, I felt the back of my head and looked at my hand. Suffice it to say, I now have a large bald patch on the back of my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 202

You deserved it 6 720

Today, I surprise-visited my uncle after not seeing him for 4 years because of college. When he opened the door to his house, he was wearing Crocs. Of course, that would have been completely fine if it weren't for the fact that they were the only thing he was wearing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 832

You deserved it 1 402