By poo4brains - 28/04/2012 04:42 - New Zealand - Christchurch

Spicy
Today, my wife woke me up by giving my erect penis a Chinese burn. FML
I agree, your life sucks 33 118
You deserved it 3 639
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Top comments

bellaxmonkeyx_fml 8

3) A Chinese burn (also referred to as an Indian burn or other burn related name depending on the locale) is the act of placing one's hands on a piece of someone's anatomy and twisting in opposite directions while applying pressure. It's usually done on the wrist of the aforementioned unlucky victim.

420 5

Comments

kkjkidonthate 4

Then put some of that wax stuff girls use to rip off hair on her lady parts and rip as hard as you can to wake her up next time.

26 6
SkoomaKi 27

Or her eyebrow... (murder by her may occur)

12 0
bellaxmonkeyx_fml 8

Confirmed, waxing her lady bits sans approval would warrant a bit of wrath, but waxing the eyebrows would probably be the last action you ever accomplished. If she didn't kill you on the spot, she'd definitely make your life miserable.

21 0
Enslaved 36

I've always called those an "Indian rug burn" not to get confused with the "Chinese fire drill",(which is fun to do at a stop light with your friends in the car!) ****I guess different places call things different terms. Sorry, OP, that sounds painful. Too bad she didn't lotion up her hands or it could have been a great experience! (:

27 6
ickyjuice 8

Really?! WTF is wrong with all of you. There are Indian Burns, and Rug burns, not Indian ******* rug burns or chinese burns, Jesus Christ. The internet is constantly diminishing what little faith I have in mankinds future. SMDH.

0 0
BlackBlazeCobra 16

Huh, in my school they called it an Indian burn. Different name, same concept. I know how bad it feels on the forearm, but on the penis with all those sensitive nerve endings...ouch!

22 1
fgsuperman 20

Wow, that's pretty twisted. Interpret that whichever way you like.

44 1
CptZoe 10

I love that 10 people have decided YDI. Bad OP for havibg morning wood! Bad! On another note, ouch...

11 1
Shadow_Phantom 26

And you married her... why...? Or did she just not show as this crazy when you were dating?

5 18
SkoomaKi 27

OP probably married her because of this thing called love. Have you heard of that? Your comment says otherwise.

8 1
challan 19

I'm assuming she was trying to wake you up in a good was and failed. She's your wife, teach her what to do for heavens sake! Perhaps buy her some lube, or a bottle of Happy Penis? Or explain that a slippery mouth can provide all the lube you need.

18 3
fgsuperman 20

At first I thought it was unlikely that anyone would think that was the way to do it. Then I remembered the girl who thought a '********' meant actually blowing. So I guess anything is possible?

10 0
immaMonsta 8

#33 But she's his WIFE, shouldn't she already know that? I doubt it's the first time they've done anything sexual since she chose to give him a good morning surprise. I think she did it just because she knew it would cause him harm, or maybe she thought his reaction/pain would be funny.

4 2
Teabubbles 8

59- not everyone is an expert at sexual stuff. Besides, it makes the relationship stronger if he were to teach her how to do one properly. thats all part in the role of a marital relationship :)

5 0
challan 19

105- good answer! 33- absolutely! You never know.

4 0
twisted_cherub 14

It's not that she doesn't necessarily know how. Since they're married it's more likely she wanted to spice things up and got the technique she read in Cosmo wrong. Sometimes trying new things doesn't work out well. Although, she should have known to use more lube and less pressure with something like that.

0 1
hollenbackam 12

Maybe she spent too much time with an inflatable man?

0 1
Fireflies25 14

Someone might have already mentioned this and I missed it but...this is seriously, actually a technique Cosmo suggests in practically every other issue. They don't call it a Chinese burn but one of their "sex tips" is to put both hands on a guy's penis, and then twist in opposite directions. ...so basically give him a Chinese/Indian burn

0 1