Health: Today, stepping on a scale for the first time in years, I had... - FML

By ms piggy - 15/12/2011 21:52 - United States

Today, stepping on a scale for the first time in years, I had to lift up my stomach to see the number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 024

You deserved it 43 106

Back to School: Quiproquos and Notebooks
Laugh at back-to-school mishaps, with dazed students and overwhelmed teachers! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Mr. Shawzy - 15/01/2009 11:43 - Canada

Today, after taking a shower, I decided to weigh myself. Curious, I peered down. I couldn't see the scale. I am fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 096

You deserved it 23 236

By ihncredible - 10/12/2012 23:32 - United States - Macomb

Today, I stepped on the scale and realized that I weigh more than the amount of money that I have in my bank account. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 182

You deserved it 8 078

Simple answer

By pathetic - 29/05/2009 02:35 - Canada

Today, while getting ready for work, I realized that all my pants were getting a bit tight. When I got home from work, I went in to the bathroom and stood on the scale, which confirmed that I have gained a few pounds. I then realized that I was eating while standing on the scale. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 074

You deserved it 59 343

By unknown002 - 12/02/2010 01:25 - United States

Today, I stepped on the scale because I'm trying to maintain a good weight. The scale read that I had lost 6 pounds. Feeling really good about myself, I stepped off the scale only to see that the corner of the scale was sitting on the rug, making the scale mess up and tell me the wrong weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 225

You deserved it 18 672

By Fatty - 28/12/2011 07:57 - United States

Today, I found out that I've been using a "Trick Scale" that my family bought to boost my self esteem so I'd think I was losing weight. I found this out at my physical, where I learned I have actually gained ten pounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 536

You deserved it 4 882

By dawg3360 - 07/06/2009 06:02 - Canada

Today, I noticed I have to lift up my fat to see my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 637

You deserved it 134 203

By trev - 30/05/2011 16:12 - United States

Today, when I weighed myself on my scale, it broke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 142

You deserved it 28 945

By Anonymous - 14/09/2011 18:21 - United States

Today, I finished the first month of a diet and exercise program designed to help me lose weight. To keep myself motivated, I have avoided the scale the entire time. I weighed myself today. I've gained 6 pounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 691

You deserved it 5 950

Heavy

By Betty - 17/03/2010 18:26 - United States

Today, I went in for a doctor's appointment. When I got on the scale, I was really excited to see that I'd lost ten pounds since the last time I weighed myself at the gym. The doctor then severely lectured me on the fact that I had gained twenty since my visit last year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 525

You deserved it 9 283

Own it

By annie - 26/05/2021 10:57

Today, when I stepped on the scale this morning, I broke it. Now my family won’t stop making fun of me and calling me names like "chubby" and "fatso". The scale was really old and I weigh 110 pounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 489

You deserved it 234

Next

Top comments

Mr_S3xypants 2

Friday 16 December 2011 1:07

dude..seriously??

Patts_fml 4

Friday 16 December 2011 1:07

Sounds like it's time for some lifestyle changes OP

Comments

iceblue_fml 0

Friday 16 December 2011 1:45

Sounds like it's time for a diet? Unless the person you are with is happy with the way you look.

ohSNAPyall 26

Friday 16 December 2011 9:48

She could diet for her own satisfaction, health and confidence.

babiebuntin 7

Friday 16 December 2011 1:49

I'm sorry hun. :/

afulks78 11

Friday 16 December 2011 1:52

Oh god. Fyl indeed

penguinazul 13

Friday 16 December 2011 1:53

Things that make me feel better about myself... I'm fat, but I don't have to lift anything up to see the scale and I can still totally see my feet. If I can't, it's cause of my ****, not my stomach.

yumlicious 4

Friday 16 December 2011 2:03

YDI FATASS!! Now do something about it. So gross...

sheethapins 13

Friday 16 December 2011 2:08

Well sounds like you can't join weight watchers.

EmperorXing 0

Friday 16 December 2011 2:11

I wonder if your feet get wet when you take a shower

daydreamer244 13

Friday 16 December 2011 2:13

Go jogging!?!?

CoolRainbowdash 15

Friday 16 December 2011 2:15

Tell Kermit the frog about this

FYLDeep 25

Friday 16 December 2011 2:18

I bet the scale read "Goddamn!".

1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10

Keywords

Surprise Love Cute My ex Texting Awkward Wanker Intimacy Sex Mental health Health Insomnia Sleep Food Cooking Kids Parents Weekend Pranks Annoying Miscellaneous Work Embarrassing Technology Zoom Coworkers Argument Roommate Pizza Animals

The Top

Today, I woke up in a complete daze. It took me a few minutes to realize what had happened. Apparently my sleepwalking problems have returned, only this time I managed to overdose myself with Nyquil. As a result, I slept for fourteen hours, wet my sheets, and lost my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 871

You deserved it 4 120

Today, I went with my girlfriend to the mall. We were looking at jewellery in Zales and she came across the engagement rings. She looks at one and says, "Are you kidding me? That ring is hideous and it's the most expensive one here! Who the fuck would buy that?" Well, that would be me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 292

You deserved it 6 694

The Top

Today, I woke up with greasy hair, despite taking a shower last night. After washing my hair several times and it not going away, I realized that yesterday I put aerosol deodorant in my hair instead of hairspray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 289

You deserved it 1 263

Today, I learned that if you complain to your mom about your future mother-in-law's bitchiness, your overprotective mom might confront her about it and end up punching her in the face. My fiancée blames me for the incident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 170

You deserved it 7 282

Today, my girlfriend, who I’ve been madly in love with for 18 months, left me for some guy she met two weeks ago. I was planning to propose to her next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 046

You deserved it 138

Today, after weeks of no sex, my boyfriend finally decided to have sex with me. While we were getting into it I accidentally farted in his face while his mouth was open. No more sex for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 663

You deserved it 2 141

Today, I went to a Halloween party with people from work. As the night passed, my boss got hammered and started throwing food at people. It was fun and games until I accidentally spilled his 10th beer. His response? To slam a hollowed out pumpkin full of chocolate mousse over my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 929

You deserved it 4 346

Today, I was drying myself with a towel after a shower when I noticed a bad smell. After running out of toilet paper last night, one of my friends decided to use my clean towel to wipe herself instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 677

You deserved it 2 410