Animals: Today, the car across the street has been broken into so many... - FML

By Anonymous - 15/02/2016 17:04 - United States - Athena

Today, the car across the street has been broken into so many times that my parrot has started to mimic its car alarm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 929

You deserved it 1 727

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Same thing different taste

By Unhappymothersday - 17/05/2012 20:41 - United States - Raleigh

Today, I woke up to the sound of my car being stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 514

You deserved it 2 173

By Anonymous - 25/10/2013 17:20 - United States - Tacoma

Today, my car was broken into, on the same night I stayed up late researching how to install my new car alarm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 102

You deserved it 3 434

By MacGrouber - 17/03/2011 00:12 - United States

Today, my bird learned to mimic my fire alarm. It proved it to me at 3 am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 848

You deserved it 4 749

By Anonymous - 18/04/2019 00:00

Today, my bird learned how to mimic the fire alarm after my dad has been testing them for the last few months. He now enjoys sounding like a fire alarm anytime I turn the lights off with the other bird joining in. They live in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 034

You deserved it 293

Make it stop

By shadow1248 - 27/05/2012 05:06 - United States - Stamford

Today, I had finally gotten my dogs to quiet down and my baby to fall asleep. Not thirty seconds later, my neighbor's car alarm went off. They aren't home for the weekend, and the damn alarm has now been blaring for three hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 939

You deserved it 1 927

By hcditfi5foygy - 23/09/2018 13:30

Today, I learned that my new neighbour's car alarm goes off every time a car drives by blasting loud bass. So far, it's gone off 6 times in the last hour. I can't wait until he's done moving in here, where he and his car will stay for the next year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 434

You deserved it 145

By Anonymous - 13/09/2012 20:37 - United Kingdom - Harlow

Today, my car alarm went off during a funeral. Three times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 801

You deserved it 3 753

Enjoy the sirens

By Anonymous - 17/03/2023 04:00

Today, my parrot learned how to imitate my baby's crying. Now, every time the baby cries, the parrot joins in, and it sounds like a chorus of screaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 863

You deserved it 195

By Hardsleeper - 16/10/2009 09:23 - United States

Today, I learned that my car alarm only goes off if the car is unlocked a bit forcibly. Doesn't make a sound when some prick breaks the window out in the middle of the night to steal my cd player. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 970

You deserved it 2 307

By Anna - 15/06/2012 09:43 - United States - Buellton

Today, I was driving my parrot home from the vet. As I was driving home, I decided to let her sit on my shoulder. Something scared her, and she started flapping in my face, causing me to crash my car into a tree. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 770

You deserved it 51 776

Next

Top comments

drayloon 50

Tuesday 16 February 2016 0:24

Pollywannasaferneighborhood, squawk!

TheAspieDork 27

Monday 15 February 2016 23:49

Move to a new neighborhood if possible

Comments

OrganicSistah 17

Tuesday 16 February 2016 4:58

Lol that's funny.

ekim300 26

Tuesday 16 February 2016 5:40

Hey at least it wasn't your car. F your neighbor's life.

Gearhead789 6

Tuesday 16 February 2016 6:03

Get out of the ghetto then.

prdctnln 10

Tuesday 16 February 2016 8:35

How about you get off your high horse?

KayleeFrye 39

Tuesday 16 February 2016 6:28

Car alarms are the worst. Half the time they go off because a stray cat brushes up against the car. Half the time no one even cares if an alarm goes off. They get annoyed, but that's pretty much it.

Zarcissa 34

Tuesday 16 February 2016 7:10

Reminds me of the time when a car alarm went off because I walked by the car a bit too close. That car had problems with its alarm going off at any given time, usually in the night for no reason...

Lalala579121 27

Tuesday 16 February 2016 7:13

33 - Aliens.

Roskosity 22

Tuesday 16 February 2016 14:24

F their life. That sucks.

deaddonkey 15

Tuesday 16 February 2016 15:44

I really want to hear this bird mimic the alarm and see how close it sounds to the real alarm

Colon_Man 17

Tuesday 16 February 2016 16:32

You should break into that car and lie in wait for any thieves.

Red332333 1

Tuesday 16 February 2016 18:42

your fault for having a parrot... idiot?

GruesomeUrchin7 10

Tuesday 16 February 2016 19:25

That's awesome

LifeTrolls 16

Tuesday 16 February 2016 20:45

On the bright side-it's not your car!!!

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 491

You deserved it 15 057

Today, I was chatting with a co-worker, and she mentioned she has trouble swallowing pills. I replied that I'm lucky, because I have next to no gag reflex. Half the guys at the other registers abruptly went silent, and I'm now being constantly hit on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 201

You deserved it 17 042

The Top

Today, I was babysitting. The kid said he had to use the bathroom. When I told him to go ahead, he said he just did. He was on my lap. He wasn't wearing pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 530

You deserved it 7 925

Today, while trying to break up with my girlfriend, I somehow ended up begging her not to break up with me. I'm still not sure how that happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 312

You deserved it 21 420

Today, my class was interrupted by flowers, balloons and chocolates. Then he sang to me a song he wrote himself. This was all for our one-year anniversary. It probably would have been the best day of my life... if I knew who he was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 679

You deserved it 3 964

Today, I found out I have herpes. I'm 9 months pregnant and have only been with my husband. It just so happens that our roommate just got over herpes. I thought they were just spending time together, bonding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 295

You deserved it 279

Today, our school won third prize for a project about inclusion. At the fancy reception, none of our students got included in anything, though. They didn’t manage to talk to people from any other school, because everyone else was busy staring at their phones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 393

You deserved it 117

Today, despite being married and renting my own apartment, I can't fulfil my teenage dream of slamming my wife on the sofa and pounding her like cheap mince, all because it would apparently "defile the sofa for the children." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 022

You deserved it 417