Love: Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I...

By DutchOven - 04/07/2009 21:07 - United States

Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 400

You deserved it 25 955

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Sarah - 26/03/2012 11:14 - United States

Today, I belched. In the middle of my wedding vows. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 857

You deserved it 6 569

Nervous?

By Anonymous - 28/02/2015 14:16 - Denmark - Nørresundby

Today, I sharted during my wedding vows. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 730

You deserved it 5 135

Classy

By 1234 - 11/07/2009 16:41 - Canada

Today, it was my wedding day. I had my butt clenched during the ceremony. I was giving my husband the ring, but dropped it. When I went to retrieve it, I let a huge one rip. My husband yelled, "She likes to eat beans." FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 577

You deserved it 10 441

By flipflop - 07/06/2010 07:03 - United States

Today, I got married. I was so nervous right before I said my vows that, in the dead silence, I farted. Loud. My brother showed me afterwards, on tape, over and over and over again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 318

You deserved it 7 438

By Anonymous - 03/09/2015 01:33 - United States - Hayward

Today, the priest at my wedding farted. Everyone thought it was me. The guests, my bride, even the priest himself looked at me in disgust before continuing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 767

You deserved it 1 752

By anonymous - 14/03/2012 05:18 - Canada

Today, I was sitting on the couch with my fiancé, when he jumped up and viciously sat on my face. I then heard, smelled, and tasted the most violent, horrific fart known to man. I still can't get the taste out of my mouth, and he can't stop laughing. I'm getting married to this guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 059

You deserved it 14 185

By fun - 16/06/2013 04:54 - United States

Today, my husband threw up on me during our wedding vows. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 032

You deserved it 4 585

By Zoey - 09/02/2012 15:17 - Canada

Today, my husband started a food fight. During our wedding reception. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 843

You deserved it 6 186

By Susan - 28/02/2012 11:55 - Canada

Today, I farted in front of my husband. It somehow turned into a farting war. Then I realized this is the closest we've come to intimacy in a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 958

You deserved it 6 841

By pain - 26/02/2010 10:23 - Japan

Today, I found out that explosive diarrhea can happen, and at the most inopportune times, such as on the day of MY wedding. At the altar, while my husband said his vows. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 440

You deserved it 3 287

Kizatt 0

Sunday 5 July 2009 1:41

That is like one of the funniest FMLs I've ever read

dandymidori 0

Sunday 5 July 2009 1:39

This is hilariously disturbing! Did everyone realize that you did that?

Comments

illgutcha 0

Sunday 5 July 2009 6:31

I would ask for a divorce!!!

Jarlais 0

Sunday 5 July 2009 7:15

poor guy...girl farts are the worst

calvarykid93 0

Sunday 5 July 2009 7:27

Omfg rotflmfao that made my day

AshleyRose784 0

Sunday 5 July 2009 7:34

way to start your life together. just wait until childbirth, there is no embarrassment after that

Qup 0

Sunday 5 July 2009 8:20

Dutch oven - that's a new one for me! hilarious!

GoodpointAllen 0

Sunday 5 July 2009 8:35

At least you won't have to worry about him ever wanting to try anal.....

MoobyTheCow 2

Sunday 5 July 2009 8:45

EPIC!

SixGunPsychosis 0

Sunday 5 July 2009 9:32

Betcha cant wait for that Honeymoon. Lol. That really does suck though, but so awesome at the same time.

Avenging_Angel 0

Sunday 5 July 2009 9:34

LOL XD What does it mean to "Dutch oven" someone?

gemini02 0

Sunday 5 July 2009 9:44

LOL now that was a good one!!

Keywords

Love Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Christmas Romantic Break-ups Money Annoying Gross Argument Ironic Friends Awkward Haircut Cute Holidays Lonely Relatable Bosses Capitalism Work You're fired Cars Health Covid Jealousy Cheating Kids Parenting

The Top

Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my family. Everything went well until my mum started hitting the brandy. While kicked back in her chair, she asked my boyfriend how satisfactory I was in bed, and if he enjoyed going down on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 279

You deserved it 3 577

Today, I attended a cooking class with my co-workers. As the chef prepared to cut up a load of onions for his dish, he warned us to be ready for the "typical reactions". Everyone teared up. Meanwhile, I popped a boner. So much for typical. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 318

You deserved it 9 464

The Top

Today, we noticed some guy lurking nearby our house. In a few minutes, we saw that the TARDIS (the police box from Dr Who) replica that we built for our son in the backyard was on fire. This guy burned it because he "hates nerds." I don't even know him, he just saw the box somehow and decided to set it on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 760

You deserved it 107

Today, I was at the book store when a book caught my eye: Overcoming Anxiety For Dummies. I wanted to look through the book but I was too nervous to pick it up, thinking everyone in the store would look at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 660

You deserved it 6 145

Today, I went to ask my boss for a raise. He laughed at me and said, "That's hilarious because I was going to ask you if you could take a pay cut!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 260

You deserved it 2 335

Today, I sat down for a poop. The toilet seat slid off immediately, taking me with it. I lay on the bathroom floor for a moment, stunned, still pooping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 260

You deserved it 4 968

Today, I was messaging memes back and forth with one of my female coworkers and I accidentally sent a picture of my junk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 638

You deserved it 6 614

Today, I felt flexible in my yoga class. I put my legs in the butterfly position and tried to press them down. Both my hips popped very painfully and I screamed in the middle of a quiet room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 719

You deserved it 3 843

Same thing different taste

Nervous?

Classy

Top comments

Comments