Love: Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at...

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By Brian - 18/03/2012 02:32 - United States - East Wenatchee

Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 217

You deserved it 5 118

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Same thing different taste

Love hurts

By wray16 - 26/02/2021 21:30 - United States

Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 832

You deserved it 135

By Anonymous - 20/10/2015 09:44 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I leaned over my sleeping girlfriend, kissed her cheek and told her I love her. She punched me in the ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 830

You deserved it 3 659

Impressed?

By anon - 27/01/2025 09:00 - France - Paris

Today, I made eye contact with a very cute girl in a café just as I biting into a croissant. It crumbled so violently that a piece flew up into my eye. She just stared at each me in disbelief as I yelped and rubbed my eyeball clean. FML

I agree, your life sucks 350

You deserved it 130

By RomanceFail - 02/04/2015 12:51 - United States - Crestwood

Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 051

You deserved it 3 383

By Anonymous - 16/08/2010 20:20 - United States

Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 940

You deserved it 6 678

By civicman - 27/09/2009 02:19 - Canada

Today, I was cuddling on the couch with my girlfriend when I started to tickle her, she asked me to stop but I continued. She had a reaction, and kneed me in the happy sacks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 690

You deserved it 66 309

By joe - 31/01/2009 23:14 - United States

Today, my girlfriend snuck up behind me to cover my eyes and play "guess who." The second her hands touched my face, I grabbed her, twisted her wrists, and kneed her to the floor out of instinct. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 720

You deserved it 26 853

By Hopeless romantic - 16/08/2014 06:20 - Australia - Perth

Today, I began to sign "I love you" to my boyfriend from across the room. I ended up just poking myself in the eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 491

You deserved it 10 325

Classic move

By qyx3lmnop24 - 20/12/2014 07:33 - United States - Napa

Today, while hanging out with this guy I'm interested in, we turned and made eye contact. We were face to face and I thought he was finally going to kiss me. He decided to lick my face from chin to forehead instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 431

You deserved it 5 093

By shitfaced - 18/09/2015 17:30 - Netherlands - Sassenheim

Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 698

You deserved it 9 535

gntfmlingnow 12

Sunday 18 March 2012 9:17

See if she can use her ninja tongue in more interesting ways. If you know what I mean.

DKjazz 20

Sunday 18 March 2012 9:29

Marry her. Do it now, before I whisk her away.

Comments

jackeechan 10

Monday 19 March 2012 3:43

Moo!

panda_bear0618 1

Monday 19 March 2012 4:27

she's a keeper, hands down.

happymom2g 0

Monday 19 March 2012 4:40

Giggle

1kiki81 6

Monday 19 March 2012 4:42

Ew wtf??

krsimir 0

Monday 19 March 2012 5:55

Should have told her that your other balls needed a licking to

lavantant 3

Monday 19 March 2012 6:00

That's. AWESOME

flacht765 1

Monday 19 March 2012 6:02

Eww

cscott3131 0

Monday 19 March 2012 6:29

That is so awesome dude!!!

SpeechQween94 14

Monday 19 March 2012 7:48

OMG! My boyfriend attempted the exact same thing a few weeks ago!

bowser_rawr16 13

Monday 19 March 2012 14:57

Ewwwwww lol. Eyeball kisses

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The Top

Today, my 6-year-old cousin came to my door, demanding canned food. I asked him what for, and he said, "Dad said I needed them for a school project." I said all right, and he started raiding my pantry. I was left with only green beans. He stole all my Spaghetti O's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 345

You deserved it 27 687

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents and everything was going perfectly. He and I even had some time alone upstairs, where I gave him a blowjob. After dinner, his mom helpfully pointed out something stuck in my braces and inspected it for me. It was a pube. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 501

You deserved it 5 359

The Top

Today, I met a man at the bar, and he asked me to go home with him. The problem? He's 80. I'm 29. The bigger problem? I considered it. It's been that long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 878

You deserved it 17 855

Today, I went to the doctor's to find out why I was producing small amounts of milky liquid from my nipples, even though I'm not pregnant. When she asked me to show her, I squirted on her shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 139

You deserved it 497

Today, I was chatting with an amazing guy online. He was perfect for me. After five hours he told me he loved me and I said it back. So than we decided to trade nudes. I sent mine. Within two seconds my niece calls, laughing her ass off, telling me how weird my birthmark is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 199

You deserved it 109 663

Today, I was at a bar and very drunk. I went to the urinal and when I was done I went to zip up when I realized I never unzipped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 605

You deserved it 61 307

Today, I went to the pool with my new white bathers. I felt really good about myself because everyone was staring at me until this hot guy came up to me and said "Dude, your bathers are see-through. You need to shave!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 781

You deserved it 18 563

Today, I got threatened with a gun at the drive-thru, all because my coworker forgot to include extra fries in the guy's order. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 161

You deserved it 1 613

Same thing different taste

Love hurts

Impressed?

Classic move

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