Love: Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at...

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By Brian - 18/03/2012 02:32 - United States - East Wenatchee

Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 217

You deserved it 5 118

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Same thing different taste

Love hurts

By wray16 - 26/02/2021 21:30 - United States

Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 832

You deserved it 135

By Anonymous - 20/10/2015 09:44 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I leaned over my sleeping girlfriend, kissed her cheek and told her I love her. She punched me in the ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 830

You deserved it 3 659

Impressed?

By anon - 27/01/2025 09:00 - France - Paris

Today, I made eye contact with a very cute girl in a café just as I biting into a croissant. It crumbled so violently that a piece flew up into my eye. She just stared at each me in disbelief as I yelped and rubbed my eyeball clean. FML

I agree, your life sucks 350

You deserved it 130

By RomanceFail - 02/04/2015 12:51 - United States - Crestwood

Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 051

You deserved it 3 383

By Anonymous - 16/08/2010 20:20 - United States

Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 940

You deserved it 6 678

By civicman - 27/09/2009 02:19 - Canada

Today, I was cuddling on the couch with my girlfriend when I started to tickle her, she asked me to stop but I continued. She had a reaction, and kneed me in the happy sacks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 690

You deserved it 66 309

By joe - 31/01/2009 23:14 - United States

Today, my girlfriend snuck up behind me to cover my eyes and play "guess who." The second her hands touched my face, I grabbed her, twisted her wrists, and kneed her to the floor out of instinct. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 720

You deserved it 26 853

By Hopeless romantic - 16/08/2014 06:20 - Australia - Perth

Today, I began to sign "I love you" to my boyfriend from across the room. I ended up just poking myself in the eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 491

You deserved it 10 325

Classic move

By qyx3lmnop24 - 20/12/2014 07:33 - United States - Napa

Today, while hanging out with this guy I'm interested in, we turned and made eye contact. We were face to face and I thought he was finally going to kiss me. He decided to lick my face from chin to forehead instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 431

You deserved it 5 093

By shitfaced - 18/09/2015 17:30 - Netherlands - Sassenheim

Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 698

You deserved it 9 535

gntfmlingnow 12

Sunday 18 March 2012 9:17

See if she can use her ninja tongue in more interesting ways. If you know what I mean.

DKjazz 20

Sunday 18 March 2012 9:29

Marry her. Do it now, before I whisk her away.

Comments

AllyBug 0

Tuesday 20 March 2012 2:28

Oh that's just adorable! I've done that to my guy friends a few times. Just letting you know, eyeballs taste Really salty.

StephanyTheSheep_fml 4

Tuesday 20 March 2012 4:41

C'mon that sounds cute! She's a keeper ;)

chelsea3111996 0

Tuesday 20 March 2012 6:25

Lmfaoo this is sonething i would fo to my boyfriend, but i wouldnt wanna lick his eyeball.. Eww. ????

Bitcheslovetoast 0

Tuesday 20 March 2012 7:29

Lol. Thats funny i dont really see how its an FML

monkey27 0

Tuesday 20 March 2012 7:43

How cute lol

rawwwrrrsheet 0

Tuesday 20 March 2012 8:13

Instant boner

sadeyes18 1

Tuesday 20 March 2012 18:29

She's definitely a keeper:)

brokenanjel 1

Tuesday 20 March 2012 23:23

i might just do this with my boyfriend :)

PillowsAreSoft 0

Wednesday 21 March 2012 0:21

Haha that's hilarious!!

brittany1655 5

Wednesday 21 March 2012 5:10

my dad use to do that... ew.

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The Top

Today, my 9 year-old managed to break the padlock on my display cabinet, take out my entire sword collection, run to the garden making lightsaber noises, and bash them on trees and a stone wall. They are ruined. One of them has a crack that has damn near snapped it in two. I want to weep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 883

You deserved it 407

Today, my boss complained about how his performance bonus is too small, as he expected it to be the total amount accrued rather than a percentage. He also made the decision to not give any of the employees profit sharing this year, because the company didn't beat the budgeted increase in profits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 917

You deserved it 104

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 33 671

You deserved it 4 926

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I agree, your life sucks 1 434

You deserved it 129

Today, I woke up and went into the bathroom and noticed a dark mass in the toilet. Thinking someone took a dump and didn't flush, I approached the toilet ready to dispose of it. That's when I noticed its whiskers and ears. It was a rat, and it was alive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 931

You deserved it 3 573

Today, I bought my first vibrator. I was really excited, until my crippling OCD kicked in, forcing me to turn it on and off seven times in rapid succession, causing it to give off a cracking sound and stop working. Now I'm sad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 250

You deserved it 12 868

Today, my high school guidance counselor tried to convince me NOT to go to college, mainly because it's been so long since someone from my high school went to college, that she got rid of all the college information she used to have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 604

You deserved it 3 671

Today, I told to my girlfriend of 5 years that I'm depressed about having no friends, no job and a difficult family life. I told her that she's the one constant that keeps me going. She decided this was a good time to break up with me to "find" herself, since I was being so mopey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 372

You deserved it 3 849

Same thing different taste

Love hurts

Impressed?

Classic move

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