Geek: Today, while pensively thinking up my next awesome Facebook status... - FML

By Baileyy - 01/03/2011 23:18 - United States

Today, while pensively thinking up my next awesome Facebook status over dinner, I finally came to the conclusion that I need to get a life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 181

You deserved it 41 256

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Same thing different taste

Get a life

By Anonymous - 23/02/2011 08:17 - United States

Today, I spent an hour deleting 70 of my status posts from the past week so I don't look so addicted to Facebook. Damn, I need a life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 807

You deserved it 42 357

Nice try

By No.Life. - 14/07/2010 04:09 - United States

Today, I decided not to go on Facebook so people would actually think that I have a life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 541

You deserved it 32 584

By kumbuck3t15 - 29/07/2012 20:20 - Mexico - Distrito Federal

Today, I decided I need to get a life. I reached this epiphany when I failed to take notice of my friend calling me, until he started calling out my Xbox gamertag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 531

You deserved it 25 905

By NoLife - 15/05/2011 18:49 - United States

Today, I purposely went offline on Facebook chat, just so people would think I actually have a life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 082

You deserved it 34 733

By Anonymous - 27/03/2011 18:41 - United States

Today, I realized I've been sinking into a deep depression, ignoring all my friends, and don't know what to do with my life anymore. This is all because I gave up Facebook for lent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 766

You deserved it 56 396

By Anonymous - 16/01/2012 16:10 - United States

Today, I realized my self confidence is based on the amount of "likes" I have on my Facebook statuses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 341

You deserved it 38 413

By tbeemcgeebee - 01/08/2010 05:05 - United States

Today, at 2 am on a Saturday, I purposely updated my Facebook status from my iPod so people will see that I posted from a 'mobile device' and think I'm out at a bar having a life, instead of sitting at home on my bed watching movies on my Netflix. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 926

You deserved it 33 670

Not a laughing matter

By Anonymous - 26/02/2014 09:31 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, on Facebook, someone wrote a status implying that she was going to kill herself. I called a mutual friend, asking to check up on her. The next status the girl puts up said, "Someone thought I was going to commit suicide! Haha what a loser!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 235

You deserved it 4 960

By Needsanewjob - 10/01/2012 15:34 - United States

Today, I guess I accidentally left Facebook open on my work computer while I went to the bathroom, because my boss updated my status to "Unemployed." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 508

You deserved it 55 429

What would you do?

By Anonymous - 12/11/2024 20:00 - South Africa - Durban

Today, I took a deep breath and started journaling to "figure out my life." Two hours later, I had written four pages of ranting about my upstairs neighbor's loud footsteps and zero pages about my life goals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 144

You deserved it 314

Next

Top comments

Doortje 29

Wednesday 2 March 2011 1:01

Your NEXT awesome facebook status? Yeah, somehow I doubt that you ever actually had anything close to an awesome status. So, what did you make of it? "Chicken and peas for dinner today!!! lol,jk jk, it was actually chicken and carrots!!11!"

Jimminee 3

Wednesday 2 March 2011 0:56

sometimes it just comes to you.

Comments

supahnazi 0

Thursday 3 March 2011 2:48

op's post made me lol

j_cat187 19

Thursday 3 March 2011 7:31

strange i thought she had a cig in her hand

turtlegrl66 11

Thursday 3 March 2011 7:57

Well realizing you need a life is the first step in getting one, so good job for that!

angel55033 12

Thursday 3 March 2011 9:45

hey that can be your status

PugnaciousSaint 0

Thursday 3 March 2011 17:30

yeah you do

newfiegirl 8

Friday 4 March 2011 1:58

lol who ? me ?

danycejaydi 0

Friday 4 March 2011 5:14

so instead you write about it on here... how pathetic can you be.

angelabove02 2

Sunday 6 March 2011 9:32

Omg i so agree after reading this i realised i do that too nd i need to get a life too haha

sonic19951 6

Monday 7 March 2011 7:35

and yet you come here.

darkshadows2 5

Tuesday 22 March 2011 6:19

I know how you feel. I do the same thing, with Facebook. So yah I have no life as well. XD

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The Top

Today, the door handle on my car broke. Now I have to roll down the window and use the outside handle to get out. Not only is this annoying, but my girlfriend gets irrationally angry every time, and rants about how trashy it looks. I can't fucking help that the handle broke, babe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 379

You deserved it 124

Today, after being yelled at by our boss because the office computer server has yet another virus, my co-worker and I did a bit of investigating. Apparently, the viruses aren't coming from client emails as we previously assumed. It seems that the problem is really our boss's porn addiction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 349

You deserved it 2 588

The Top

Today, my manager told me to throw out some of the old toys at the daycare we work at. I can't because I've seen Toy Story 3, and thinking about them in a dump makes me cry. I'm 28. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 147

You deserved it 18 640

Today, I came home from a year long backpacking trip in Europe. During my absence my parents divorced, dad took the house and most of the money, sister is seven months pregnant, brother was arrested for statutory rape, and my mom pawned all my stuff to buy booze to "cope." Oh, and my fish died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 95 423

You deserved it 5 515

Today, after putting in so much effort to forgive my husband for his affair, we had sex. Not even 2 minutes into it, he called me by the other woman's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 571

You deserved it 12 407

Today, I woke up at my grandparents house since my mom was out of town, still half asleep i went to brush my teeth. Mid brush my mouth started getting numb I looked again at the tooth paste I used..turns out it was my grandpa's anti-itch anal cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 067

You deserved it 22 160

Today, my girlfriend and I were talking about the difference between the U.S. and Canada when she asked me if they have their own government. She wasn't sure if they were governed by the U.S. or if they didn't have a government at all. She's a 33-year-old college graduate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 555

You deserved it 2 626

Today, I confronted my very passive-aggressive roommate about taking out the trash. With a smug smile, she insisted that I should write her a letter if I want to argue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 110

You deserved it 1 498