Intimacy: Today, while working at a porn store, a group of six people tried...

By ohgodwhyyoufreaks - 01/04/2013 11:57 - United States - Moorhead

Today, while working at a porn store, a group of six people tried to return used toys and penis pumps. Even though you can't return any items, it's still an unfortunately common occurrence. The semen in these particular toys, however, is not. All of them began shouting at me for not refunding them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 761

You deserved it 6 738

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Same thing different taste

Insult of the week

By Anonymous - 01/04/2016 20:21 - United States - Slidell

Today, a customer got angry with me, because store policy says we can't accept returns of unsealed video games unless there's actual damage to the disc. The guy got enraged and started yelling about how I'm a "useless fuckwhistle". I almost got written up for laughing so hard at the insult. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 380

You deserved it 1 713

Memory loss

By UGH - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had to return a shirt to Target. My mom offered to do it for me on her way to work, so I gave her the shirt and receipt. Later, I remembered that on the same receipt I had purchased condoms, lube, and whipped cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 281

You deserved it 81 095

By the_captain - 23/06/2009 00:21 - United States

Today, I was cashiering at Target when an old woman came into my checkout line. Her items? Variety pack of pleasuring condoms, a bottle of KY sensual lube, and two colorful thongs. As I'm scanning these, she leans in and whispers, "I love toys." FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 702

You deserved it 3 516

By whatthewhat - 18/11/2009 19:52 - United States

Today, a woman cursed me out, called me a perverted freak, and said I should be ashamed of myself because I had asked her "How much for one night?." She works in a toy shop, I was with my five year old daughter, and was pointing to the sign, "Rent A Helium Tank!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 207

You deserved it 3 311

Are you lost?

By Anonymous - 16/08/2015 15:22 - United States

Today, while I was working at a children's toy store, a woman walked in, looked around a bit, then asked if we sold dildos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 191

You deserved it 1 779

By rxcrs3 - 09/08/2012 06:44 - United States

Today, as I was cashing a customer out, he stopped me in the middle of the transaction just to tell me that the condoms he was buying are too big for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 033

You deserved it 2 484

Don't engage with the nutjobs

By MsBeaufont - 25/08/2022 16:00 - United States

Today, a customer came to make a return - a bag full of clothes without tags that weren’t from our store. I kindly told her she couldn’t return them. She had a full blown meltdown, pulled down her pants, urinated and defecated on the ground. Security escorted her out. My coworker and I had to clean it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 121

You deserved it 131

Denied

By lolreturn - 16/08/2009 18:51 - United States

Today, I grabbed the nearest plastic bag in my bedroom when my boyfriend and I left for Walmart so I could return a pair of shorts. When the cashier dumped the contents of the bag onto the counter at customer service, my shorts and a used condom fell out. It was the longest return of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 616

You deserved it 55 920

By Anonymous - 16/07/2016 09:34 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, a customer tried to return some pricey lingerie. She said she didn't have the packaging, but had never worn them. The skidmark I accidentally touched begged to differ. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 678

You deserved it 837

Sharing is caring

By Anonymous - 06/04/2022 00:01

Today, I found out my younger sister is too cheap to buy her own sex toys, so she has been borrowing mine. I clean mine thoroughly after use but apparently she just puts them back in the box after she’s done, while they’re still wet. Not gonna lie, I threw up a little after she'd admitted it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 223

You deserved it 211

Linkerdoodles 15

Monday 1 April 2013 18:52

Oh my god... how are some people this stupid? That's disgusting.

MrConcise 34

Monday 1 April 2013 18:55

Are you telling me there's no market for used sex toys? There's generally a fetish for everything - no matter how creepy.

Comments

little_sailor 8

Monday 1 April 2013 19:31

I work at a **** store as well. I understand your situation all too well. The customers can be maddening.

akiahara 14

Monday 1 April 2013 21:49

I only had this happen a couple times when I worked in an adult store. Sans semen, of course.

perdix 29

Monday 1 April 2013 21:55

#32, yeah, but you know the rule of **** retail, "The customer always comes first."

McNikk 15

Monday 1 April 2013 19:32

Am I the only one that finds it odd that a group of six all came to return a bunch of used sex toys at the same time?...

noelasis94 18

Monday 1 April 2013 19:37

I voted you deserved this because working in an adult store is kind of asking for this kind of thing.

Shenannigoats 16

Tuesday 2 April 2013 4:10

No, it isn't. Better luck next time.

Enslaved 36

Monday 1 April 2013 19:53

So what you're saying is, there's no way I can get a refund if I'm not satisfied with my vibrating duck? :P

perdix 29

Monday 1 April 2013 20:17

#38, yes, but you can sell it on Craigslist. I go on there often to buy Florida Panthers tickets, "sex toys" are right next to "tickets" in the buy/sell section, so one stray mouse click and you might find a buyer . . .

DjeePee 24

Monday 1 April 2013 20:00

I feel slightly ashamed while visiting a sex shop and buying toys, I really don't get how someone dares to show his dried-up semen to anyone...

perdix 29

Monday 1 April 2013 20:20

#42, really?!?! You haven't met any exhibitionists? Some wear the "red badge of courage" while others wear the "white crust of romantic conquest." Stephen Crane's sequel didn't sell very well.

Helped 35

Monday 1 April 2013 20:22

Agreed, that's just disgusting.

Helped 35

Monday 1 April 2013 20:23

That's just gross.

claudzzzz 5

Monday 1 April 2013 20:44

i work retail and yes, there are people that try to return used bras and underwear....and socks and even shoes that smell disgusting....people are ******* gross

jem970 19

Monday 1 April 2013 20:59

I would promptly gag and then tell them to get out. That is so nasty. "Why wont you take back my penis pump with all my cum in it?! WHY?" People amaze me these days. How does the human race endure with these idiots free on our streets?