Miscellaneous: Today, whilst stacking the dish washer I dropped a steak knife....

By zztopspinner - 14/03/2012 19:11 - United States

Today, whilst stacking the dish washer I dropped a steak knife. Luckily, I caught it just before it hit my foot. I fist-pumped to celebrate my amazing catch and stabbed myself in the cheek. My parents couldn't stop laughing all the way to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 710

You deserved it 36 527

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 20/09/2010 09:37 - Australia

Today, I was emptying the cutlery section of the dishwasher when I reached down and accidentally got the tip of a steak knife wedged half-way under my fingernail. My mum yelled at me for getting blood on the clean dishes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 480

You deserved it 3 857

By jmac - 11/03/2012 03:06 - United States

Today, I dropped a knife while cooking. Luckily it missed my foot, but only because it hit my knee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 417

You deserved it 4 302

Not my day, is it?

By ouch. - 10/12/2018 09:30 - United States - Stamford

Today, I was washing the dishes when I gave myself a nasty gash on my leg from the open dishwasher door. After five minutes of cleaning up the blood and wrapping it up, I came back to finish the job only to drop a plate and send broken shards into my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 732

You deserved it 347

911 please

By hurts - 04/05/2009 18:48 - Canada

Today, I was helping my friend wash dishes. As I went to grab some tongs to dry them, I impaled my forearm on a knife that was sticking blade up. My friend wanted to finish the dishes before taking me to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 671

You deserved it 4 994

By Prae - 01/10/2012 05:47 - United States - Dallas

Today, I washed the dishes for my mom while she was out, as they seemed to be piling up. I accidentally sliced my hand with a knife in the process. After a trip to the hospital, it was revealed she'd been leaving those dishes there "to teach dad a lesson." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 683

You deserved it 2 118

By Anonymous - 13/08/2019 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was helping tidy up after my girlfriend's flat warming. I went to put a sharp kitchen knife in the sink while she was washing dishes, and stabbed her in the finger instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 132

You deserved it 989

Slice of life

By Eleanor - 19/02/2017 23:00 - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today, I tripped and fell on my open dishwasher, right onto a carving knife. I'm mostly ok, except that my nipple has been sliced neatly in half. Seriously, the two halves keep flapping open like a little mouth. It would be funnier if it wasn't so painful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 896

You deserved it 627

Put it away

By Anonymous - 27/10/2019 22:00

Today, I managed to cut myself twice with a Swiss army knife. Stabbed in one hand and sliced a finger on the other. Good to know it's super sharp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 003

You deserved it 985

Gammon

By Anonymous - 24/10/2022 06:00

Today, while demonstrating our new meat slicer at work, and after sharpening the blade at the end of the demonstration, I noticed some metal powder. I grabbed a rag to wipe it off, not realizing the blade was still in the “open” position. I now have six stitches and a really painful finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 309

You deserved it 939

By knifewow - 20/10/2016 08:30 - Australia - Ashgrove

Today, I angrily waved away an annoying fly with a large knife. I stabbed myself in the shoulder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 425

You deserved it 13 450

grahambertus 11

Wednesday 14 March 2012 22:38

"wanna know how I got these scars?"

HondaKidd 5

Wednesday 14 March 2012 22:36

Buahaha! Derp

Comments

DomDomxoxo 16

Wednesday 14 March 2012 23:09

Fist pump your way to the hospital!!!

FMLsOhilarious 6

Wednesday 14 March 2012 23:10

YDI for fist pumping.

williamcarter93 13

Wednesday 14 March 2012 23:10

damn fool.

BunBunBabe 8

Wednesday 14 March 2012 23:10

Next time carefully execute your victory dance.. Or ya know just set the knife down next time haha

MigraineurOfLife 15

Wednesday 14 March 2012 23:11

Thank God you didn't stab your eye! O_O

HaniahAhmad 0

Wednesday 14 March 2012 23:12

OfficeNinja 5

Wednesday 14 March 2012 23:15

Now when you drink anything, it will dribble out of your mouth from the new cheek hole you created. Your parents will have a lot more opportunity to laugh.

gonad_gobbler 1

Wednesday 14 March 2012 23:22

You have to be more careful op! the steaks are high when dealing with those kinds of knives! disclaimer: I know it's stakes, it's a pun

FMLsOhilarious 6

Wednesday 14 March 2012 23:34

A pun that makes no sense.

DocBastard 38

Thursday 15 March 2012 0:15

Gobbler, the pun was good, but when you need to explain a pun or joke, it ruins the comedic effect. Let the idiots who don't get it thumb you down and make stupid comments like "it's stake, ur dum" so the rest of us can laugh at them.