Health, Painful and Intimacy: Up it goes

Up it goes

By 0stvn0 - 16/03/2012 01:18 - Canada

Today, my doctor booked me in for an STI test. I was feeling confident until he explained it will involve having a catheter inserted into my piss pipe. He shook his head sadly and said, "Gonna be honest Steve, the pain's beyond belief." Great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 764

You deserved it 5 694

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 16/12/2011 14:25 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor's thinking I had a UTI. Turns out I have an STD. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 198

You deserved it 40 109

Ouch

By Anonymous - 01/04/2018 05:00

Today, I went in for an STD test. The Q-tip broke off in my urethra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 548

You deserved it 438

Just in case

By Anonymous - 16/02/2016 07:39 - Australia - Balwyn North

Today, during an unrelated appointment with my GP, he offered me a free check for chlamydia. Despite me reassuring him that I was STI free, he insisted that I should undergo the test. I ended up agreeing, only because I was too embarrassed to admit that I'm still a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 399

You deserved it 5 162

Testing testing, one two one two

By regretter - 01/03/2011 01:07

Today, I paid €100 to have a tube shoved down my genitals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 988

You deserved it 7 782

Fingered

By Anonymous - 03/07/2023 19:00 - Finland - Tampere

Today, I went to see a doctor because of some blood in my stool. Not only is the matter embarrassing enough as is, it turned out the doctor was a young, crisply dressed, extremely handsome man. I then had his finger in my ass for a check-up, all the while him being very nice about it. I'm still mortified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 915

You deserved it 218

Tough

By prostate - 08/06/2009 13:48 - United States

Today, I got prostate examination for the first time. Now I can't decide what's worse, the fact that I got a boner when the doctor inserted his finger, or the fact that my wife told the story to pretty much everybody we know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 423

You deserved it 7 058

Prostate implies an Antistate

By artsmart1 - 06/03/2010 00:40 - United States

Today, I went to go see a specialist for my prostate and was told he would have to do an exam before I could leave. Having had this checked just the previous year, I was more than a little irritated. As I was bent over the table the Dr. said, "Now, just pretend I'm Angelina Jolie." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 418

You deserved it 2 947

J'ACCUSE!

By hurtswhenipee3 - 11/01/2023 16:00

Today, I got a urinary tract infection. I didn’t realize men could get those. Worse yet, my girlfriend thinks it’s an STI because, “IF I’M NOT FUCKING YOU, SOMEONE MUST BE!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 115

You deserved it 212

Experimental

By Anonymous - 01/01/2025 11:00 - United Kingdom

Today, holding my teenager's hand at the hospital, I unfortunately had a front row seat as a nurse manipulated his penis trying to pop a ball bearing out of his urethra. He had been curious to see if it fit. It did. And no matter how hard he tried he couldn’t pee it out, so off to the hospital we went. FML

I agree, your life sucks 542

You deserved it 131

By Jesse - 10/05/2012 21:22 - United States - Bothell

Today, I had to get a prostate exam. Right before the doctor started, he told me that if I found it awkward at all, I should just imagine I was being probed by aliens. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 072

You deserved it 2 422

YourBuddyElmo 5

Friday 16 March 2012 5:40

On the bright side....nope, nothing's coming to me.

glittercookies 12

Friday 16 March 2012 5:41

It's worth it. You're being responsible and safe.

Comments

lemonloli1990 7

Friday 16 March 2012 9:44

Try having a baby

mariof13579 4

Friday 16 March 2012 13:54

No,thank you.

zach8771 3

Friday 16 March 2012 9:46

Oh god it hurts just thinking about it, good luck bud

Suba_fml 8

Friday 16 March 2012 10:17

It does!

EffYoLife 14

Friday 16 March 2012 10:19

Yeah I had a catheter once and it was super painful...and I'm a girl! Fyl

bigtaytay 13

Friday 16 March 2012 10:51

Ask to be sedated

teresedanielle 2

Friday 16 March 2012 11:21

It may suck, but it's better to be safe and be tested. Good for you :-)

Jetmech1981 1

Friday 16 March 2012 11:21

You should try the old school "Ream-N-Scream". When I was 18, I decided to get checked to be on the safe side. At that time, they shoved a q-tip into your urethra and acted like they were mixing cake batter with a wooden spoon. Easily the 2nd most excruciating pain I've ever felt. #1 pain was taking a 48" bungee cord straight to the ol' beanbag, hook first, from full extension. Lemme tell ya, that kind of pain will make you see God.