Bad timing
By KrissyBearr - 31/12/2011 01:36 - United States
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Hehe
Have you told him you love him before this?
Thats awk!
op isnt gonna respond, no point in asking
Never say "I love you" during sex, because you're in the heat of the moment, it's probably not love. I learnt this the hard way Oh what a cruel world we live in :'( Forever alone...
I always say I love you when having sex with my girlfriend. Why would I be having sex if I didn't love her? Forever happy. (:
What I'm trying to say is that in a relationship you shouldn't say "I love you" for the first time during sex, because you don't think straight during sex. It's all lust based on passion, not true love. If you say "I love you" before intercourse, then you may feel free to say it however you please, whether it may be during sex or not. That is all.
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Show it anywayno. 51 it's not love coz I say I love you all the time to mine and he's still hard lol so I suggest op to dump him or confront him bout it
15 - he said he loves pie..
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Show it anywayGod I hope I never live in your world Margie. It seems like a very dark, nihilistic place.
Those who do not believe in true love are failures in life.
#96- I pray that your perspective on love and marriage changes. What a horrible world it would be if that were true. I will pray that you don't live the lonely life that you are putting yourself in and that you open your heart to someone because believe it or not- someone can love you. If someone can love hitler, someone can love you. I am very sorry for you for feeling that way.
@96: Objectively there is such a thing as "true love", which would be categorized as affection for a being or object that isn't purely driven by necessity or infatuation. And there is much more to marriage than a joint bank account, namely, the right to mate without being subject to certain social stigmas, joint property rights, tax breaks, emergency parental rights (in the case of a dead or indisposed spouse), the right to appoint godparents and legal guardians for offspring, hospital visitation rights, and permanent residency through matrimony.
Ah, nothing says "I love you" more than Tax breaks!!
I agree completely.
Indeed.
116- I also hope you change your mind eventually on love and marriage... You really have no idea how wonderful marriage can be if you're with the right person. If I had to choose between having a "tax break" and not being married and not having one and being married, I'd DEFINITELY choose staying married. I'm truly sorry for whatever has influenced you to think that way.
According to her syntax and tone, it would appear that Margie's opinions on this matter are influenced by a past relationship (or relationships) that she found unsatisfactory or, much less likely, from her observations of the relationships of authority figures (most likely parents or legal guardians) when she was around her adolescence.
I don't have "daddy issues" or anything. I just never was into the idea of marriage since I was a child. Don't get me wrong, I believe in love. Just not "true love". It's really bull.
Just stop. There is no salvaging this. The people of FML have spoken.
The distinction that most people make between "true love" and "ordinary love" is that "ordinary love" is subject to factors such as; preferable physical traits and the ability to provide a necessary function for the individual, while "true love" is considered to not be greatly effected by superficial factors like the ones above, and is platonic at it's base (which is why this "variety" of love tends to be taken in high regard, as it does not objectify the individual and ensures greater stability in relationships).
@128: Written*
51, dont you mean the "soft" way?
With all due respect to all your opinions. I just still find "true love" to be an idiotic, waste of time. That's just my opinion. It doesn't exist. It'll never exist. Let's move on.
130- since you decided to play that card.... *typed... Game, set, and match.
@133: What I posted aren't my opinions, I was merely stating what I deem to be the popular consensus (of western society anyway). If it makes you feel any better, I really feel that the whole "true love"/"love" distinction is harmful to relationships, since it often sets up unrealistic expectations for the relationship from infatuation and not from compatibility which, I feel, is discovered through conflict and compromise, not the "dreamland" idea that people are raised to expect love to be. I apologize if any of my comments seemed confrontational or argumentative, I did not mean them that way.
136- ****. >:|
If you're 15, you can't say that you felt true love. High school loves are puppy loves, unless you're those lucky ones who are high school sweethearts till death do they part.
Man am I glad FML doesn't have a thumbs down cap, or I would have wasted all mine on margie.
143- Thank you for saying that. I'm real ******* sick of people my age going all; 'Ohhh I love u 4eva!!!! Tru love' 'ILY MORE!!!'
Well not every 15 year old is going to feel true love, it only happens on rare occasions
That's bull, I'm 15 and my boyfriend and I are madly in love...almost a year now. Some things just happen...age doesn't matter.
If you're 15, and you say you felt true love, well I'm sorry because either that's BS or FYL hard. Oh, and to all those happy thinkers preaching eternal love and stuff, check out the percentage of marriages which finish in divorce or during which there was at least one affair. Sex is meant for reproduction. That is all.
Margie I think you should stop now...
I know a couple who has been together since ninth grade and is still very happy in their third year of college. It's a matter of the people you're talking about. True love for them, I suppose. I honestly believe that humans are polygamous, but in a society like ours, I think that it is not only easier to be monogamous, but it is also more fulfilling in the short lives we live. There are tons of people who've grown to raise grandchildren and still love each other, and then there are tons of people who never find their 'other half', or whatever. Anyway, just a matter of opinion.
Okay let's get serious one minute... There could be something such as 'true love' sure... but it never lasts for ever, I mean come on do you know any couple that stayed married all their life without cheating on each other ? "Love forever" is an ancient idea when people lived for 35 years and still they would cheat on each other. Now we live for too long to love the same person for our entire life, we all eventually get tired so either we get a divorce or we cheat.. I'm not saying this because of my past relationships but by looking around myself.. Sorry for the eventual mistakes btw i'm French.
Eventual mistakes or inevitable? Lol. But come on now. We live in a world with what, 6 billion or whatever people, right? I'm probably wrong but what the hell, it's still a big number. I'm sure there is one old man and lady in there that has never cheated on each other.
margie2194 - Your the kind of person that has no hope in life. If you don't try to find "true love" you'll never find it. Stop being so ******* miserable.
Yeah sure there must be one couple out there... an old couple lol But in the society we live in, there are temptations everywhere. So it's still a pretty rare phenomenum.
I'm just going to put my two cents in. I met my boyfriend at 16, we now have 6 years together this December. =] True love or not, it's love, and I hope it lasts our entire lifetime. ^_^
I want to make so many comments but my incredulity at the sheer number of stupid comments in this thread is making it difficult. I just really hope most of you learn a lot more about the world as you age and mature. The rest of you are doing a great job arguing with ignorance. I don't have the patience for it.
Doesn't matter, had sex. Or should I say, started having sex.
I know many happy couples who have been married for 18-70 years who have NEVER cheated on each other. You can fall in love with anyone...ill admit i could. But that doesnt mean physical attractions dont come into play. Love is something you feel for a person. True love is the act of being able to say youll love them forever. Why would you want to be with someone you wouldnt want to spend the rest of your life with? How pointless of a dating world that would be which is why its highly unlikely for a kid in middle school to find their "true love" at this point i cant say ive found my "true love" so i dont think ill be relateable with all of you "head over heals" kids. But, when i do find love, and eventually true love, i dont intend to lose it.
You should probably lay low for a while:)
They're not failures at life maybe they've just been done very wrong by a lot of people and need someone to show them not everyone is a jerk
125- wtf??? That's a huge contradiction. " I believe in love but not true love" Every love I've ever felt is true. True in emotion and true to me. If I feel like I love someone during sex that emotion is true to me in that moment. I understand where your coming from but logically speaking that phrase doesn't work. I used to not believe in marrage or in soul mates or anything until one day, under weird circumstances I met someone who basically turned my thinking completely around. It's not impossible to find true live and yes it does completely exist. It's the fact you have to be willing to give it a chance ,not focus on it and be yourself. Besides if you told the person your with you don't believe in 'true love' they will walk out the door. How can you expect someone to stay when you can't even give part of yourself to them?
I just wanted to say, I met my bf when I was 15, and we're still together four years later...needless to say, some people really do fall in love young, because I did :-* Let's cut the boy some slack and be happy he has experienced such a great feeling at such a young age.
173, and those two old people are my grandparents.. I've seen them argue all of one time. & for you 172, where on earth did you get your "facts" (if I may call them so) from?
I'm totally a hopeless romantic so obviously I believe in true love and having one person that's meant for me even though I haven't found that man yet. I think it's sick that someone said 'everyone cheats'. I was cheated on by my last boyfriend after he proposed to me. After feeling how much that hurt, I would never cheat on anyone. I believe there are many people who feel the same way. Kind and loving people don't cheat.
Is it me, or did most american people on this thread not notice that their country has the highest percentile of failed marriages? And there's no need to try to bury the few realistic people either, just because you're being completely idealistic and can't come to terms with the fact that true love does not exist/isn't eternal. Sorry for getting carried away, but, seriously.
I speak my opinion and I get mercilessly attacked? Well let me explain "love" and "true love". There are a lot of people in this world I "love" like my mother, friends of mine. Etc. I can't find anyone that I "truly love" and I will not waste my life searching for true love because quite frankly I do not believe it exists. Now you all can live your optimistic lives searching for"the one" whatever. I respect that. Just because I'm not some giddy girl in love with the idea of love doesn't mean I'm a demon without a soul. It's all based on opinion.
My husband's grandparents got married when they were 16. They're in their 70s now and have never cheated, and they're still truly in love.
Thank you 215! I was beginning to despair and to think that pretty much nobody understood that.
no true love eh? must be a **** star
Does that mean your going to be a prostitute?
At margie2194
At 15, you have not had enough life experience to truly know what it is to have true love. Even after gaining life experience, some people don't find true love. If you were truly in love with someone you would be with them till the day you die
Yes it does.
Meaning...15 and in love is laughable. Give it ten years, after you're tossed into the real world with real world problems and let me know how you feel then. My 'first love' -compared to relationships I've had as an adult - was a joke.
I wasn't going to say anything to this because everyone's experiences give them a different perspective. I started dating my now husband when I was 16 years old. We became engaged and moved in together when I was 18. We wed and now have a nine month old son and I am 20. No I can not say we will never divorce because I don't know but yes you can find love at a young age. If you want to call it "true love" or not, it's label doesn't change what you have found, love. Just my experiences though.
True love does exist, but pretty much love is a giant risk. If you have sex with someone they can still go off and leave you, cheat, etc. Marriage is the same way, people will still cheat and lie, you just have to make sure that that is the person you KNOW can't live without you and wants to be with no one but you. True love doesn't just happen, you have to work for it and build it.
#212: You just seem to be the type who isn't Love inspired. Thing is most people don't go "looking" and "searching" for love so to speak. If they are it's usually because all they want is to feel someone to love them and they end up finding hurt and pain instead. Sometimes it just happens and it finds you. And its always when you least expect it. I'm not attacking you I'm just telling you that not everyone expects to find someone to love. But they do and so when they do they feel so strongly about it that they put comments up about it. I doubt you were being "mercilessly" attacked I think this is just an easy thing to talk about. Lots of people feel Love and have experienced all the great and not so great things about love, marriage and living with their decisions.
I'm sure that many of us have grand parents or even parents who haven't cheated and been married 40+ years. I do. Your comment is the most bogus in this comment string. And what does being French have to do with all if what you said?
I met my boyfriend in ninth grade. I was 14, he just turned 15. Now we're 21 and 22. We're super happy and planning on getting married. Idk where people are getting you can't feel true love when you're 15. I knew I was going to marry him the minute I kissed him, and I knew he felt the same. (I know this comment is kinda irrelevant now, but I was reading the earlier comments and had to add that in)
Won't let me send a long message on the app...sending in parts -_- Part 1 Ok I take back what I said earlier and will comment. There are too many people making assumptions and generalizations based on their LIMITED experiences and perspectives on life. You CAN NOT tell someone they are too young to be truly in love. Just because you have never experienced it does not mean it is not possible. At young ages, you mostly find puppy love but there CAN be true love. And guess what? ONLY the person experiencing it will know.
Part 2 You also can NOT tell people there is no such thing as love (true love, being in love, whatever you people choose to call it). You're saying that every single person who has looked into the eyes of someone and said "I'm in love with you" is living a lie. Maybe the inability to be "in love" is true for you, but how DARE you say that just because you are incapable of feeling something, then no one else in the world is? How can you say "Oh there's a high rate of divorce in this country" or "many people cheat so this proves there is no such thing as true love"?! Again, just because YOU can't control yourself or be true to someone doesn't mean no one else can. Say "*I'm* an inevitable cheater" or "*I* will never find love," NOT "Just because I'm this way, everyone else must be." How psychotically egomaniacal is that?!
172- my grandparents were married for 61 years until they died TOGETHER. Through those 61 years not once did he cheat on her or she cheat on him. They stayed faithful to each other even when he was in half war across the world from her. My parents have been married for 32 years and are still happy together and not divorced. They, just like my grandparents, never cheated on each other. So yes, people can stay married and not cheat, just because a lot of marriages end because someone has cheated on the other doesn't mean all marriages end up that way.
I still agree with 215. Humans are animals, and animals have the instinct to reproduce. That's why I said that I believe humans are naturally polygamous earlier. But still, we've built up a society where it's normal to be monogamous and it's encouraged, in fact, and we've shown ourselves to be capable of it. 215 was just pointing out a fact because people are mistaking lust and sex and whatnot for a gift that is supposed to be only for 'the one'.
172- my grandparents were married for 55 years until my grandmother passed away
172, that's bullshit. Sure, sometimes love doesn't last forever. But if it doesn't, it wasn't true love. My parents met in high school and have been happily married for 28 years. They never fight, they say "I love you" to each other all the time, as well as to me and my brothers. We are a happy family and my parents have never shown any signs of wanting a divorce. They accept each other for who they are. Saying that love -never- lasts is generalizing based on what you've seen, but you haven't seen everything so you can't act like you have and make statements like that.
Wow all i know is that ive been with the same guy since i was 15 i loved him then and still do we have 2 beutifull children together and have been married for about 3 yrs now sooo yea its rare for 15 year olds to fall in love but we have and are extremely happy together and im not saying it was easy but were still together thru it all because of TRUE LOVE
Good lord. Love can't be defined people. It's a complex emotion that's different for everyone. So can everyone please just shut the hell up now?
You're so sweet awwww!!!!!!!!!!!! And you're cute. Every guy should be like you!!! ^.^
That's for Beasty01. Just to clarify.
While lasting love is rare in high school, it is not nonexistent. My husband and I met when were Freshmen in high school, married at 18, and are still happily married today at 33. I knew at 15 that what I felt for him was beyond teenage puppy love. It does happen, and who's to say it didn't happen to TheBeasty?
Okay, so, my grandparents were together 55 years before my nan passed away. My sister and her boyfriend have been together since they were 14, they are now 23. I personally believe true love (I may struggle to explain this properly) is if someone asks your reasons for loving them you can't quite pin point it and your response is "they make me happy/laugh/smile".
Margie - You can't say something is bullshit just because you haven't experienced it personally. That's like saying Africa doesn't exist just because you haven't been there. Guess what, though? Many others have, and they're alive and capable of sharing their story. You cannot tell others what they feel. Also, I can't say I ever thought true love was a lie, but I never knew how powerful it could be until it happened to me. Life can take you on a ride and completely flip your perspective, so keep your mind open.
Just because I don't believe in love gives you no right to insult me by calling me a prostitute. That was rude and uncalled for.
My great grandmother died at 83 after being married for 61 years. So yeah, I know someone that stayed married all their life and didn't cheat.
Called you a prostitute? Well unless you stand on street corners and sell sex for money, I don't think you are. So that person is a dumbass. But anyways, you should've expected to be mercilessly attacked on this website. You can give thumbs downs and it's the Internet, for god's sake.
Not to play devil's advocate, but anyone else wondering how all these people know their parents/grandparents/great grandparents didn't cheat? Just because they're still together and chose not to share it with you doesnt mean it didn't happen lol And if it did, by the way, it doesn't mean they didn't wholeheartedly love each other ;)
I Would have came in you then "now your locked down for 18"
how do you people know your grandparents haven't cheated? this generation must think gullible sounds like orange when you say it slowly. there is no way you know every detail about another persons relationship, oh and im sure your grandparents are just going to share the fact that they cheated on the other with the children they want to set an example for, youre all some damn tools.
This is very saddening to me because Im 17 and I've been with my gf for 2 years and we plan on getting married later on in the future... She is my Bestfriend as well as my one an only sex partner.... I hope one day u do find true love :) its the best feeling in the world... P.s. I know I'm young but I do know the difference between lust and love
ThaBeasty01 I will forever be ir servant ur amazing!!!!!!!!!!! we need more guys like u!
ThaBeasty01 Do u have a gf? cuz I'm single..........
116- Shut up and leave you lonely bitch
What a bunch of conservative idiots...this romantic fairytale nonsense is vomit inducing. Speaking about subjective issues as fact is really stupid, and all of you need to shut the **** up already.
I definitely agree.
Thanks for the insults. I was only giving my perspective. And I found the whole "last relationship" thing pretty low. I'm not one of those girls, and quiet frankly, he's my first, and im his. Does that mean we dont truly love eachother? No...Things happen that are Unexplainable. It's called knowing what's good for you and not letting pressure effect it.
Its like Leonard and penny in the big bang theory but reversed...
Okay, let's explain love to you little delusionary children. The original emotion we were born with is called LUST. However, that isn't quite acceptable in our society, due to the numerous problems it could and would cause. Some smart guy therefore decided to call it "love", and shaped the society in such a way that each individual would suppress those emotions. So love is basicallu socially-acceptable lust.
Take a pill man, just cuz you can't feel it
Exactly. People shouldn't be having sex with people they don't love/who dont love them. What is wrong with people these days?
True love, Christ, what a stupid concept. Love is a chemical reaction that occurs indon't rain. Don't you think it's strange that "true" love only occurs when the person sexually arouses you? Be honest, could you ever fall in love with someone if only their personality is beautiful? If you answer yes, let me say that lying to yourself like that is pathetic. -Take a look at the divorce rate. It's probably about 50%. -Think about how many people "stay together for the kids" or because it's convenient. -Think about how many people are dissatisfied with their marriage before they get to their 10th? -Think about how many people simply don't voice their dissatisfaction? And if a marriage doesn't fall apart, it stagnates. There are rare cases of couples who are truly compatible but chances are kids you won't be in one. If you believe in true love, that's great. But you won't when you're older. It's like Santa Claus, a huge lie told to young people to give them something to work towards.
I meant "in the brain" in the above comment. Also, for those of you saying "I'm 15 and my boyfriend and I have been together for over a year! True love exists!" Uh, no. Your boyfriend is just horny. I guarantee you that if he could swap you out for someone more sexually attractive than you, with no consequences, he would. "I met my boyfriend/husband 10 years ago and we're still together! True love exists!" Yes, you guys are probably in love. It isn't the storybook love people read about. All love has conditions. Would you love him if he told you he was Bi? Gay? A pedophile? If he started to beat you every night? Would you love him if he was dirt poor? If he had sex with another woman on accident? On purpose? All love has conditions. Long relationships always have the passion die out. The death of that passion signals the death of love in the relationship, to be replaced by companionship, trust, and friendship. It's better than being alone, but it ain't love.
"Just horny" why don't you speak for yourself. Stop being bitter because you haven't experienced true love and leave people be. I really wish I could slap you for that. Making all guys sound like scum bags, there are good ones out there...and believe it or not, I know he loves me. Insulting me is one thing, insulting him...don't go there, it's low and pathetic.
Plus, if he was "just horny" he probably would of left me a long time ago, because I know he could do so much better. And he wouldn't take the time to make sure I'm ok, talk to me day and night 24/7, tell me everything, make me feel safe, spend his time keeping me happy? Stop criticizing people.
Wow. If someone can love hitler, someone can love you? If that's not the most condescending thing I've ever heard, than I don't know what the hell that was supposed to mean. Margie doesn't sound depressed or sad or crazy to me. Sounds like she is just expressing an opinion that others on here may not share. There's no reason to pass judgment.
#332- Well, you're a negative one, arent you?
don't fill her head with that b.s.
Dude just shut if you dont belive in love then your missing the point in life
No shit sherlock
No one cares
That's a HARD way to find out he doesn't feel the same...or not..
If it was the first time you shouldn't have told him like that. I've heard that people are more likely to say irrational things during sex because they get all caught up in the moment. I would never take anything serious that someone told me during sex. But anyway, I'm sorry OP that you had to experience it like that. Just because he got soft doesn't mean he doesn't feel the same toward you. Saying you love someone is a big step and it can kind of freak people out sometimes. Keep your chin up.
I don't understand how he is your boyfriend and you never told him you loved him. Also, if you guys are dating, it's pretty obvious that you love each other. Except if you are dating just for sex...
@333 Are you serious. Just because some people are dating does not mean they love each other yet. That's something you find out as the relationship goes on. Unless you're talking about the middle school relationships where they just say "I love you."
Problem?
Softy in some ways, and not in others
So.... It wasn't mutual?
50 -- I'm going through it right now. It's painful as hell...especially when you've already had an amazing date with that person, yet they still insist that you can only be her friend. Then you see her with another guy. |the kid|
I've never been friend zoned because I don't ask out girls who aren't interested in me. Not a difficult concept...
Actually now that I think about it you're right, I don't ask girls out. I kind of just fall into relationships. OK, point validated.
Yeah... It's time to break up.
Agreed with 10...he's a boy
from the song " I just had sex by lonely Island"!!
104- oh really now.
Keywords
I always say I love you when having sex with my girlfriend. Why would I be having sex if I didn't love her? Forever happy. (:
the blood from his erection rushed up to his heart and made it pump faster because of the loving feeling he was getting :']