By Anonymous - 24/01/2014 00:10 - United States - Birmingham

Spicy
Today, my girlfriend was spending the day at my place. Later on, I walked in while she was making lunch. She had a jar of mayo in her hand, and I joked, "I have some mayo, but it doesn't come from a jar." She had a bluetooth headset on, and was in a call with her father. 5ML
I agree, your life sucks 46 858
You deserved it 25 871
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Top comments

Crazc 15

Bluetooth or no Bluetooth, thats a stupid-ass joke.

396 30
ktiskool 18

You're gonna be getting some Hellman's.

114 7

Comments

Ambient25 24

You two are the reason aliens won't talk to us

64 8
Lilxpie 18

It's L! How's life since you died in death note? ( #1's icon) ( I'm ready for the thumbs)

13 35
nana_star 27

Dying apparently did a number on his brain.

19 3
Lilxpie 18

By thumbs I meant thumbs down. #55 Apparently so.

3 25
FracturedMinds 21

Dunno about down. I thought it was funny.

4 15
TourettesGuyFTW 25

49, I've been abducted by aliens before. No wait... I meant Allen. He did things to me :(

24 3
littlem91 29

49, you're the reason I wish I could favourite a comment.

3 5
gabbi630 16

I just saw that FML is 5 years old today, so Im going to guess thats why.

4 1
Crazc 15

Bluetooth or no Bluetooth, thats a stupid-ass joke.

396 30
SuckMeBeautifu1 24

@2 Lighten up prude.

17 55
Kamon97 23

Guess his mayo comes in those small little packets >.>

57 3
nana_star 27

Well #25 apparently thought it was funny. Small things for small minds.

12 3
SuckMeBeautifu1 24

@57 So come up with a better joke about mayonnaise then , champ. Without googling it

5 22
_Heisenberg__ 15

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway
7 23
MidnaLink 33

Seriously!? The whole "Girlfriends and sandwiches" thing is so stupid!

8 13
SuckMeBeautifu1 24

@22 Thats why its funny. If you're taking it seriously then you are the one who is stupid ;l

6 7
MidnaLink 33

The only reason I take it seriously is because I don't put up with that sexist crap. Forgive me for just giving a damn. But then again, I'm writing to the same guy that pulled that cleavage comment.

11 5
SuckMeBeautifu1 24

@30 You seriously think that when a guy refers to the sandwich joke he actually means it as some sort of sexist statement? Its a joke you retard, and so was the other comment you referred to. If anything that other one was sexist against men, because it was implying that her boss was stereotypically sleazy. Stop confusing humor with seriousness.

5 10
Nohman 14

@30 Just lighten up man. It's just an innocent, albeit not exactly hilarious joke.

4 4
hellryu 20

Nohman didn't call anyone a name like retard or anything and SuckMeBeautu1 didn't say he was innocently funny. Either way, people should lighten up, jokes aren't meant to be taken seriously.

0 1
MidnaLink 33

Nohman didn't call me a retard, SuckMeBeautifu1 did.

0 0
712sash 26

Bluetooth can make situations awkward. Speaking from personal experience.

85 7
ktiskool 18

You're gonna be getting some Hellman's.

114 7
andrewturtle 16

Yeah man, gotta hate those fake phones, they don't seem to work as well!

61 1
Sports_guy3 28

Exactly. Those banana phones don't work at ALL!

40 4
Aligator67 12

#63 You just ruined the jokes.

15 2
Mynamewontfi 40

Who knows, maybe her dad didn't even hear you. It was a lame joke anyway.

92 9
ZY1431 24

ahh well, that's a tough one to explain later.

4 26
your_ma 27

Was that supposed to be funny or sexy? To be clear it's neither..

87 8
Exhaling 12

More corny I think. "Hey honey, want to make some sandwiches? (; I have some Hellmans made fresh in the bedroom..."

25 6