Not now, Dave

By shanti - 16/02/2014 17:30

Today, my husband cracked a "Rectum? Damn near killed him" joke at my grandfather's funeral. He had genuinely spoken without thinking, but his quick gasp and "Oh shit" sounded quite sarcastic. We were both kicked out. My family thinks I put him up to the whole thing. FML
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Same thing different taste

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Top comments

HowieDoIt 21

Never heard that one before, i'll have to add that to my...arsenal of jokes.

203 2
onealmxwilson 18

#20, that would be his grammar

101 4

Comments

olpally 32

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway
17 83
thief1434 23

She even said that he didn't realize how distasteful his comment was, and that he was genuinely remorseful but saying "oh shit" was a bad choice of words.

93 1
xblaine 17

Please, shut the **** up.

0 5
omgitsmoe 26

No you shut the **** up

1 1
HowieDoIt 21

Never heard that one before, i'll have to add that to my...arsenal of jokes.

203 2
cakefete2 30

Adding that joke would give you enough material to stretch from uranus and back.

15 4
saraitkddh 47

sorry OP for your loss and try to make him explain that you have nothing to do about it to your parents

7 22
thief1434 23

Gee, you really got PUNished for that. That aside, I'm sorry to hear about your loss. Hopefully you can explain what happened before you're excommunicated from the family!

30 13
mea_iloveskiing 26

Reminded me of johnny english at a funeral.

16 5
junkman6 22

We all end up dead and the griefs going to be there for a while, there's no need to force gloom and doom. A funeral should be to celebrate someone's life not obsess over the fact they died. Obviously it's different when you are coping with the death of a younger person but if someone lived to a ripe old age and saw their granddaughter get married I would think that's a pretty full life and should be celebrated. Just my personal feelings about it. I know that's not how a lot of people think.

46 3
Kamon97 23

That's why I want my funeral to be a huge comedy club :p

23 1
Catkam623 27

I want mine to be at a strip club. Bring flowers get a free lap dance.

18 2
Waspinator1998 21

I'm with #28. I want my funeral to be one huge joke.

10 2
StompinOnCrayons 15

Try to explain to your family OP, or at least beg to pay your respects. Make your husband wait outside if necessary.

3 10
shivamtrivedi 24

Well, everyone suffers brainfarts like that. Don't worry, hopefully everything will turn out all right. I honestly think that your family already hated you and your husband.

39 4
homesuckfucker 28

this doesn't sound real, but if it is, your husband should be met with a few day's dry spell, and an explanation offered to your family. who, in my opinion, need to have more trust and care in you. fyl, op.

0 0