By Anonymous - 08/08/2015 04:02 - United States - Portland
The Top
By dickhead - 10/04/2015 22:17 - United States
By Anonymous - 14/08/2015 15:08 - Denmark
By Sheldon76 - 24/02/2015 19:43
Sheldon76 tells us more.
By Sad Mom - 25/07/2015 02:04 - United States - Wylie
By cock blocked - 22/04/2015 15:44 - United States - San Francisco
By sarahxHx - 14/07/2015 06:42 - United States - Laguna Niguel
sarahxHx tells us more.
Hey it's OP. We stood there for a good 5 seconds until he realized it was actually me. He sincerely apologized and he said he hope it didn't offend me. He's a really nice guy and I'm happy to be dating him! :) We went hiking that morning. And for those saying I wear too much makeup on, I don't. I simply have super light eyebrows and eyelashes, and girls here would understand that doing your eyebrows and putting on black mascara makes a HUGE difference. For my face, I only wear a light coverage tinted moisturizer. You're all so quick to judge. SMH.
By BlazefireSaber - 07/07/2015 03:59 - United States - Norfolk
By PISSED OFF - 17/05/2015 13:09 - Australia
By yupthissucks - 13/04/2015 09:00 - United States - Newnan
By Basically_ - 11/05/2015 21:24 - United States - Charleroi
Basically_ tells us more.
OP here! Maybe I should have specified that the medication causes mild confusion, as in, maybe I forget where a specific resident keeps their towels. Alzheimer's residents can get very upset if everything is not done in a specific way. I would never go to work if I thought I could not do my job!
By WasNotAdopted - 28/04/2015 13:26 - United States - San Francisco
By LexiD19 - 31/07/2015 22:56 - United States - Fort Mill
LexiD19 tells us more.
Hey, OP here! I just started working at Subway a few days ago, so my manager is still training me on the "ways of being a sandwich artist." While making this man's sandwich, I put the cheese longest side facing each other in order to cover all the meat evenly. Well, a few hours later, my manager gets a call from the same man complaining about the cheese being "upside down." My manager thought the whole situation was hilarious and enjoyed telling all of the employees the story. She assured me I didn't do anything wrong and I've been doing great the past few days.
By Anonymous - 03/05/2015 05:58 - Finland
Stop!
By hobbled - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States
By Deaf - 02/07/2015 18:59 - United States - San Francisco
Chill out
By HURP - 17/06/2015 15:41 - Canada - Edmonton
By savannahsboxxx - 11/07/2015 12:09 - United States
savannahsboxxx tells us more.
I love my phone any who they came out and said she'll have to pass a test or she'll have to go on a dangerous dog list. I personally will know she'll pass but it's not like I trained her to kill there rabbit it was animal instant. It happened in my yard while she was on a tie out. so it's there fault for not being responsible with there rabbit.
Thanks, I guess?
By LocallyBrewed - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States
By Anonymous - 22/04/2015 14:24 - United States - Altamonte Springs
By Oopsie - 28/07/2015 17:18 - United States - Saint Albans
By I love L - 08/08/2015 22:56 - Canada - Richmond Hill
By sam882 - 23/02/2015 06:49 - United States - Saegertown
sam882 tells us more.
I was completely shocked and at the same time embarrassed. I had to just walk away, completely speechless. It took a moment to register with me that i actually heard that. haha
By Anonymous - 02/05/2015 09:59 - United States - Broken Arrow
By Anonymous - 02/06/2015 15:23 - United States - Austin
By imonfmlnow - 13/08/2015 16:24 - United States
imonfmlnow tells us more.
Some of your comments kind of make me cringe, but this is FML so I guess I should have expected that. It was in fact not my boyfriends first time, not even close :P it was one of my first times, actually. He is the first person I've had sex with, and he knows what he's doing WAY more than I do. Anyways, he's just a really funny guy. He's confident and cocky and a goober and i love him. The first time we had sex I told him to talk dirty to me so he said okay and started whispering things like "the kitchen sink. The floor when I don't vacuum." And we both ended up laughing so hard we were crying. He's a fantastic guy, the love of my life, and I wouldn't leave him for anything. To wrap this up, why are people saying my expectations are too high? I've never had an ******, but I've given my boyfriend more than a few. I just wanted to know if I could have one, because I haven't got anywhere near an ****** yet in any sexual situations I've had in my whole life. I wasn't having false expectations, I think it's pretty normal to want to experience an ******. Anyway, thanks for reading!
By Anonymous - 23/05/2015 07:03 - United States - Tampa
By Anonymous - 15/03/2015 17:54 - United States - Brandon
By Anonymous - 10/07/2015 16:52 - United Kingdom - Nottingham
Out of my mind
By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - London
Keywords
Well once she felt the resistance she stopped and deflated it fully. But unfortunately it had traveled some down the urethra before she realized. So I had to wait while she grabbed another syringe unfortunately.