All the FMLs

Good samaritan

By happyshit - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was driving when I saw someone pulled over on the side of the road. Wanting to help, I pulled over. In so doing, I ran over something that popped my tire. The guy had just pulled over to pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 621

You deserved it 6 563

Really struggling, huh?

By Anonymous - 27/09/2023 10:00

Today, after I was on deployment 6000 miles away, and because my wife was struggling pretty bad with work, kids, and taking care of everything on her own, she finally had a breakdown so I came home early to help. I found out she was fucking another Navy dude the whole time. I should've stayed out there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 757

You deserved it 117

Dog's dinner

By Bad Pet Sitter - 27/09/2023 01:00 - United States

Today, it's been a week since my brother asked me to watch his dog while he's on a business trip. I let his dog out to do his business, and he ran right in front of a pickup. The driver didn't stop in time, and crushed the dog's head. I went to check on him. He's dead, and I will be too when my brother gets back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 851

There's a first time for anything

By OptimalPath - 27/09/2023 06:00

Today, I booked a driver's ed course to avoid 3 points on my driving licence for doing 40 in 30 zone. That day, my wife kept quarrelling in the car, I got angry at her for a second, apparently also stepping on the gas. A triumphant copper with a speed gun was right there. I haven't had a speeding ticket in 25 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 282

You deserved it 718

Piss off, basically

By lonelyandcold - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Solihull

Today, after coming home from surgery, I discovered that the heating in my entire building had failed. I called my mom asking if I could come and stay with her for a few days. She told me to "think warm thoughts." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 191

You deserved it 1 929

Time to move on

By Anonymous - 27/09/2023 00:02

Today, I found out my ex is getting married. She only left me 8 months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 642

You deserved it 114

Sounds like a keeper

By Anonymous - 26/09/2023 15:00 - United States - Conway

Today, my mom broke it off with her online boyfriend. That wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the fact he's in the military, knows our address, and apparently is threatening to kill himself if she doesn't take him back. She tells me not to worry cause we have guns in the house, but I still don't feel safe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 701

You deserved it 117

Jerk

By GogglesGoggles - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, a guy punched me in the subway for staring at his girlfriend. I had dark glasses on, and was fast asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 442

You deserved it 3 688

Failed the smell test

By Anonymous - 26/09/2023 14:00 - Germany

Today, I can hardly enjoy my food because of the reek from the cat's litter box under the bench. Poor cat, you might say, serves me right for not cleaning the litter box? Actually, the box is clean. What smells disgusting is the scented cat litter I bought because there was nothing else available. FML

I agree, your life sucks 573

You deserved it 227

Malding

By fml - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, I noticed the results of my hair growth vitamins. It's been a month since my bad haircut, and I've seen some definite growth… Everywhere except my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 236

You deserved it 423

Bummed out

By Anonymous - 26/09/2023 04:00 - United States - Steubenville

Today, I finally decided to open up to my supervisor about my horrible depression. I was crying my eyes out in her office when she announced that she had to leave and go to a meeting, leaving me to cry alone in her office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 553

You deserved it 368

Bang bang BANG

By Anonymous - 26/09/2023 08:00

Today, and for years, we've had an old rifle on the wall in my dad's office that his grandad brought back from WW2. Purely on a whim because I was bored I took it down, aimed it at random things making "bang bang" noises. It was still loaded and now my dad's university diploma has a big big hole in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 1 693

Subtle threat

By afraid - 26/09/2023 04:00

Today, my girlfriend has been playing SZA’s "Kill Bill" on repeat all day. I’m starting to get genuinely scared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 518

You deserved it 105

Back to black

By drycleanplz - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Reserved

Today, I wore my expensive new white jacket to work, thinking it would be a nice change from my usual black. I managed to lean in printer ink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 082

You deserved it 13 070

Man of steel

By Anonymous - 26/09/2023 00:02

Today, my wife and kids all yelled at me because I was stood at the bookshelf looking for a book, blocking the Wifi router with my body, and their signals all dropped to almost zero, and had stopped them watching videos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 648

You deserved it 158

Gaslighting 101

By Anon - 25/09/2023 20:00 - United States

Today, I volunteered to be a "mentally stable" person in a psychology experiment at my university. Little did I know, they'd paired me with a psychology grad student who asked me a series of increasingly bizarre and personal questions about my life. I ended up questioning my own sanity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 657

You deserved it 151

Snap!

By Anonymous - 25/09/2023 17:30 - Australia

Today, I took a nap in my hammock in the backyard. Just as I was dozing off, I heard a loud snap, and the next thing I knew, I was lying on the ground surrounded by broken ropes and a hammock that'd turned into a cocoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 604

You deserved it 105

Remember those vampire dudes?

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, the painting I worked on for three weeks was rejected from an art contest because the rules prohibit fan art. It wasn't fan art. They mistook it for Twilight fan art. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 256

You deserved it 8 288

Bounce off

By clumsy girl - 25/09/2023 12:30 - United States - Austin

Today, I embraced my inner child and went to a trampoline park with friends. I was having a blast until I attempted a somersault and ended up bouncing right into a group of screaming toddlers. I was escorted out by a concerned parent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 274

You deserved it 745

The deal

By Anonymous - 25/09/2023 10:00

Today, after a day of anxiety and worry that something bad would happen, I decided to keep my two daughters home from being flower girls at my sister's wedding. Now my sister and entire family is blowing up my phone. Apparently her wedding is my important than a mother worried about her babies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 136

You deserved it 2 386

Concerned parent

By trying - 24/09/2023 22:30 - United States

Today, I tried to nicely talk to my daughter about her rapid weight gain. Having a family history of weight-related illness, I felt it was necessary. I offered to get thyroid tests, teach her to buy healthy food, and start routine exercise. She told everyone I called her a cow and had fat-shamed her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 909

You deserved it 200

Number one or number two?

By Anonymous - 25/09/2023 13:00 - Australia

Today, I found out that the myth about what happens when you dream you're going to the toilet is not entirely untrue. At least for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 589

You deserved it 83

Hand me downs

By Marcipaud - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Detroit

Today, I opened up an English textbook to find someone else's dirty fingernails between the pages. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 168

You deserved it 1 061

Alexa, play "Let Me Down Gently" by Spacemen 3

By Heal my butt smh - 24/09/2023 18:02 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I’ve been waiting for the girl I love to break up with her boyfriend so I could ask her out. It finally happened; however she said she wanted time to heal before she started getting involved with guys again. I respected that decision. There’s just one problem. I saw her in town, hand in hand with another man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 342

You deserved it 996

Adding insult to injury

By Fly my pretty, FLY! - 25/09/2023 02:00 - Philippines - Makati City

Today, my mom's super spoiled small demon dog attacked my 3 year-old daughter, mauling her leg. Out of instinct, I kicked it away, causing it to fly across the room yelping. I picked up my daughter and took her straight to the hospital, where she got stitches. Later that night, I was greeted with a vet bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 121

You deserved it 151

On the run

By Airplane crap - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Leavenworth

Today, I got stuck on an airplane for a while before takeoff. Someone decided it was a great time to get diarrhea while on the toilet, and we couldn't take off for safety reasons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 486

You deserved it 4 228

Boundaries

By Anonymous - 24/09/2023 16:00

Today, as I'm 7 months pregnant and craving sweets, I helped myself to my MIL's birthday cake a little early. The family got so angry, they actually made me leave the party. My husband agreed with them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 2 591

Breadwinner

By Anonymous - 24/09/2023 14:00

Today, I was arguing with my fiancée, having the same argument I had with my ex wife. “Why should I get off early for the kids?”, “Why can’t you do it?” Because I’d forfeit $200 per day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 365

You deserved it 660

Not-so-biker chick

By Kris - 24/09/2023 10:00 - Canada

Today, I thought it was about time to learn to ride a bike as an adult. I wobbled down the street, lost my balance, and crashed into a parked ice cream truck. The owner yelled at me, and I was left with a bruised ego and no ice cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 579

You deserved it 205

Let me in

By Anonymous - 24/09/2023 08:00

Today, I found myself locked out of my apartment because my roommate had a medical emergency while I was out of town. The rental office, including maintenance, is closed until Monday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 605

You deserved it 199

Keywords

Love My ex Awkward Jealousy Friends AITA Embarrassing Health Poopoo peepee Sports Proposal Snow Cold weather Annoying Cheating Money Relatable Work DIY Parenting Kids Accident Parents Medication ADHD Weather Miscellaneous Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird

The Top

Today, while sitting at a table in a coffee shop, I overheard someone on the next table talking about their horrible boss. I joined in, complaining about mine, and going into great detail about what an arsehole he can be. Turns out, I was talking to my boss's sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 653

Today, my adult daughter was hospitalized for severe fever, diarrhea, and fainting. The doctor couldn't find any cause other than sleep deprivation, because I started making her wake up at 7 am. I’ve never met anyone so ridiculously weak in my entire life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 174

You deserved it 660

The Top

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years ghosted me without a word and acted like he didn't know my friend when she texted him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 009

You deserved it 93

Today, on my way back from a family trip, my fiancé informed me via text that he'd been cheating on me for years and that he'd moved out of our house and left the state. He blocked me before I could respond. We were together for 7 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 571

You deserved it 360

Today, my roommate asked me for help finding her wallet because it’s been lost for days. I helped a bit, but it never turned up. I left to go to my boyfriend’s house as I'd planned. Guess whose wallet I found laying on the ground next to his night-stand? And why it was there… FML

I agree, your life sucks 684

You deserved it 104

Today, our stove broke. Now, we have to cook using a toaster oven. FML

I agree, your life sucks 610

You deserved it 78

Today, while intoxicated, I accidentally called my girlfriend by female roommate's name. Panicked, I tried to correct myself and said my female best friend's name. My relationship with both is 100% platonic, but as a last ditch effort, completely frazzled, I said my cat's name. Now she won't stop calling me by her ex's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 368

You deserved it 1 362

Today, my boyfriend refused to have his hair treated against lice, because "men don't have lice". FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 283

You deserved it 3 846