All the FMLs

Neighbours from hell

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Canada - Oakville

Today, my new neighbours moved in. I've neither seen nor spoken to them yet; all I know is that they enjoy hammering at the walls for hours on end and repeatedly setting off the fire alarm. All this in the small hours of the morning. I got two hours of sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 463

You deserved it 2 081

Congrats!

By Nathalieeeee - 24/09/2024 16:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I was working as a caterer at a wedding when I congratulated the bride’s mom, saying, "You must be so proud of your daughter!" She responded, "I’m the bride." FML

I agree, your life sucks 127

You deserved it 5 494

Joe Smooth move

By Karel - 24/09/2024 14:00 - Canada

Today, I was at a friend's party and tried to lean casually against a wall while talking to someone. I missed the wall and ended up stumbling backwards into the punch bowl that was atop the coffee table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 221

You deserved it 345

Are you OK?

By Anonymous - 24/09/2024 09:00 - United States - Austin

Today, I walked into a glass door at a busy mall. Not only did I face-plant in front of a crowd, but I also left an almost perfect imprint of my face on the glass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 375

You deserved it 146

Wandering eye

By Anonymous - 24/09/2024 05:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my husband managed to crash the car because he was too busy looking at an attractive girl with her leggings wedged up her ass crack, and I know he only crashed because he was looking at her, because I was in the car with him when it happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 532

You deserved it 102

This explains that

By 1gullible_bugger - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, I was assaulted by a crazy drunk woman. Why? Six years ago, her kids were put into foster care because she was unfit. Somehow, this was my fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 200

You deserved it 198

This can't be legal, surely?

By Joe just Joe - 24/09/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, my landlord sold the apartment I’ve been renting for 10 years without telling me. I found this out when the new owners showed up at the door with boxes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 577

You deserved it 58

Oddly specific cold open

By lalalalala - 23/09/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I got a call from a telemarketer who asked, "Is this the crazy cat lady?" I only own one cat, but apparently, that’s all it takes to earn a reputation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 365

You deserved it 101

His type

By anon - 23/09/2024 20:00 - Canada - Montréal

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. His mom stared at me throughout dinner before finally blurting out, "I'm sorry, I can't get past the fact that you look just like his ex!" It turns out I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 505

You deserved it 71

YouTubers being YouTubers

By moron - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I drove my boyfriend to hospital because he felt extremely ill. His buddies had gotten their hands on a Taser, and he had the brilliant idea of being shot as part of a YouTube stunt video. Now I have an empty gas tank and have to clean up a puddle of vomit in my living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 759

You deserved it 3 828

People just suck

By What's it to you anyway? - 23/09/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I, a 20-year-old man, was ridiculed and called "Granny" for having a coin purse. Said coin purse actually belonged to my late grandma, and she gifted it to me last year when she realized she was going to die soon. She really meant well and I appreciate it, but I wasn't ready for judgmental strangers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 560

You deserved it 99

Dancing King

By Anonymous - 23/09/2024 14:00 - United States - Boston

Today, I was demoted from my job because the security cameras caught me dancing in the elevator, and it was considered "inappropriate behavior." I was celebrating getting a promotion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 664

You deserved it 90

This is not good parenting

By Anonymous - 23/09/2024 06:00 - Canada

Today, and for the past week, I've been incredibly on edge because apparently my dad is kicking me out but I don't know when, and my mom has told me I'm not allowed to tell anyone. She then got mad at me because I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 483

You deserved it 81

This blows

By Katie B - 23/09/2024 08:00 - United Kingdom - Lincoln

Today, I received a rejection email from a brain cancer research charity to be a junior graphic designer with them. I'd forgotten about the application with them because after I applied, my dad became unwell and got diagnosed with incurable brain cancer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 502

You deserved it 59

New roommate?

By Anonymous - 23/09/2024 06:00 - United States - New York

Today, I walked into my kitchen to find a pigeon sitting on my stovetop. I live in a completely sealed apartment on the 12th floor of a NYC apartment building. FML

I agree, your life sucks 418

You deserved it 71

Petty

By merchgirl - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Arlington

Today, my mother-in-law scheduled her neck surgery for the same day our baby is being born. She also fully expects my husband to drive her to the hospital and stay for her recovery. Uh, yeah no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 129

You deserved it 1 148

Messy

By ZackAMole - 23/09/2024 00:00 - Canada

Today, I was finally about to propose to my girlfriend at a fancy restaurant. Just as I got down on one knee, the fire alarm went off and the entire restaurant had to evacuate. She thought I was joking, and now she’s mad at me for "messing with her emotions." FML

I agree, your life sucks 501

You deserved it 66

Inferiority complex

By jakob the small twink - 22/09/2024 13:00 - United States - Fallbrook

Today, I pulled up to a party/house rave. I was told there were a decent amount of women there. I guess they'd all left by the time I arrived. The only girl I saw there was my ex-girlfriend, who left me without a trace last month, dancing with a bunch of guys who were all physically way bigger than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 354

You deserved it 167

Are you kidding me?

By HousekeeperNoMore - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, after being a stay-at-home mom and picking up after my kids for the past 15 years, I got a job rejection letter saying I wasn't qualified. It was a housekeeping position. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 040

You deserved it 4 650

Unfinished sympathy

By Anonymous - 22/09/2024 16:00 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, I walked into the office bathroom and saw my manager in tears. I tried to comfort her and gave her a hug. Turns out, she wasn’t crying, she was having a sneezing fit, and looked horrified at my sympathy hug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 188

You deserved it 391

Bad doggo!

By Vicky - 22/09/2024 14:00 - Australia

Today, I came home to find that my dog had destroyed my couch. The worst part? He buried his plastic toy bone inside the wreckage, so he clearly thinks this is his new personal sandbox play pit spot. I'm afraid to get a new couch and put it in the same place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 319

You deserved it 139

Family secrets

By Anonymous - 22/09/2024 06:00 - United States - Marysville

Today, my sister accused me of hacking into her phone because I helped her connect to a WiFi network a while ago, and she'd completely forgotten about it. I only found that out when my mom accidentally leaked it to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 349

You deserved it 59

Frozen

By Anonymous - 22/09/2024 09:00 - United States - Denver

Today, I almost got fired from my job because I was caught "sleeping" during a virtual meeting. I wasn't asleep; I was on mute, and my internet froze while I was mid-yawn. It took a while for my boss to grapple with and understand the concept, but still… FML

I agree, your life sucks 429

You deserved it 72

Thought crime

By Son of a BITCH - 21/09/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, while babysitting a 9-year-old boy, I stubbed my toe on a coffee table. I yelled, "SON OF A…" but managed to stop myself before saying the last part. The boy yelled, "You were gonna say bitch! I'm telling mom and dad!" and, despite my desperate attempts to dissuade him, he did just that. Guess who's fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 475

You deserved it 89

Mum

By mummer11 - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Ireland

Today, my mum staggered home, piss drunk. When I tried to walk her to her room, she shoved me away and cursed at me for being a "goody two-shoes". She then slurred, "I fucked your mum", and informed me that my mum is a skank. That's good to know, mum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 415

You deserved it 3 199

Where are we?

By Jobless - 22/09/2024 00:00 - Canada

Today, I got in the elevator with my dog and pressed the button for my floor. Instead of going up, it dropped two floors and opened up to a random basement room filled with nothing but mannequins, and wouldn't go back up. I had to fumble our way to the stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 473

You deserved it 84

The real Zodiac killer?

By Anonymous - 21/09/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, I told my husband that we should write down all our passwords so we don't forget them. Later, after he'd left, I pulled out his password sheet to do a little snooping, only to learn that he'd written them in some sort of bizarre cipher. What's he hiding? FML

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 1 165

Emotional journey

By sad and embarrassed guy - 21/09/2024 13:00 - United States

Today, my love life is so godawful that I started ugly-crying when the song "Love Hurts" began playing on the radio while I was driving. I had to pull over. Several people passing by stopped to see if I needed help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 320

You deserved it 173

Teaching moment

By poolboy - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was working as a swim instructor for kids. Teaching them not to be afraid of the water, I put my face in the water and blew bubbles. I asked them to try it. All of them did, except for one. I went right to him and blew bubbles again. He then said to me, "But I just peed in that water." FML

I agree, your life sucks 94 629

You deserved it 9 387

What a waster

By Anonymous - 21/09/2024 15:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my brother lost his flat and is sleeping on our sofa. He’s also unemployed so my husband is getting increasingly angry at him freeloading. To make it up to him, I made his favourite pudding, Angel Delight. He just walked in and caught my brother eating it right out of the fridge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 247

You deserved it 484

Keywords

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The Top

Today, after winning a major photography competition with the prize of an expensive workshop with a top photographer, I learned that my crazy stalker has paid the £250 workshop costs, and will travel 5 hours just to be there with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 315

You deserved it 2 040

You’re probably wondering what this website is all about. Well, it’s basically a bunch of people who had enough humor to tell you all about their shitty lives, and what it was that made their day suck a big fat one. Some are sad in funny way, som...

I agree, your life sucks 14

You deserved it 13

The Top

Today, as I was working at a bakery, a woman stormed in, cut in front of the line, and began yelling at me. She claimed I didn't give her a sandwich earlier and demanded a refund. She got the refund out of my paycheck, and as she was leaving she muttered, "Ha, works every time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 268

You deserved it 2 201

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to surprise my cat with a fancy new toy. I spent $30 on a laser pointer. Turns out, my cat is terrified of lasers, and spent the next hour giving me the "You betrayed me" look from under the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 405

You deserved it 216

Today, after a long therapy session, in which I poured out all my feelings of how happy and in love I am with whom I believe to be my soul-mate, my shrink asked me if I was sure this guy wasn't a figment of my imagination. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 231

You deserved it 3 722

Today, my boyfriend knocked into me with his car. I drove myself to the hospital because he couldn't stop laughing long enough to drive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 243

You deserved it 3 142

Today, I finally caved and told a friend about my suicide note. She demanded that I promise I wouldn't follow through, but how could I when I was writing it no more than a few minutes before I joined a call with her? The funny thing is, most of that note was me trying to comfort my friends and family for when I'm gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 326

You deserved it 221

Today, I had to proofread a document my boss had written. When I pointed out that he spelled "college" as "collage" multiple times, he angrily accused me of trying to make him look stupid. This is the guy who constantly boasts about his "genius" IQ level to the whole office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 283

You deserved it 3 492