All the FMLs

nah dude. the kids were playing that dumb game where you pretendingly dart in front of a car and then dart back, it's a really idiotic game. but they were never really in danger of getting hit.

By CyberHex305 - 01/04/2017 16:00

Today, I went to Men's Warehouse to pick up my tux. They mistakenly set the pick-up date for the 30th of next month. My prom is tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 104

You deserved it 497

By John - 01/04/2017 08:00 - United States

Today, I attended a formal dinner with donors to my university. While looking at a much older lady's nametag to see who she was, I was publicly accused of looking at her breasts. Now a bunch of people I was supposed to impress think I'm a pervert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 060

You deserved it 657

By Loserman67 - 01/04/2017 12:00

Today, I spent several hours in freezing drizzle sampling and testing diesel fuel from an above ground, 10,000 gallon tank. Soaked to the bone and shivering like mad, I gave the manager the results. He said thank you and then told me I was at the wrong location. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 537

You deserved it 736

By shadowmuppet - 31/03/2017 20:00 - United States - Bronx

Today, I learned the joy of getting a brand new leather jacket and then watching my date drunkenly throw up all over my arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 630

You deserved it 580

I didn't request this

By not a boy toy - 31/03/2017 22:00

Today, I attended the will reading of the old lady who accidentally ran me over with her car years ago. I was affectionately mentioned and was left with something rather substantial. I had to listen through all that while getting evil leers and silently judged by family members who got squat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 606

You deserved it 726

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The Top

Today, I went to Ikea with my family. I was wearing a yellow polo that vaguely looked like the ones the Ikea employees were wearing. Two dozen people came up to me, complaining that I was staring at furniture instead of helping customers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 179

You deserved it 12 483

Today, my fiance called off our engagement, all because I let myself go due to comfort eating and depression since my mother passed and I got fired from work. He told me to lose 60 pounds or he “won’t consummate the marriage with my lard ass.” Our wedding and honeymoon were less than a month away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 281

You deserved it 320

The Top

Today, good news! The guitar I have been saving up for, for 5 months, finally arrived. It came inside a beautiful black and white case, and impossible to get into without the key. They didn't pack the key. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 275

You deserved it 2 915

Today, when I was finished eating at McDonald's, I went to Shoppers to pick up a new toothbrush. I got back to my car only to find the windows smashed in. The only thing that was missing from my car was the Hello Kitty toy I got from McDonald's. Someone broke into my car for a 10 cent toy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 187

You deserved it 3 675

Today, I got home and my wife was pissed that I'd forgotten our plans. She then refused to tell me what I forgot and went to bed. I know my memory’s bad so I always write stuff down, but there’s nothing on our joint calendar, nothing on my calendar, no Post-it notes, texts, or emails, nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 490

You deserved it 86

Today, I decided to talk to a girl at the gym I had seen there a lot. I walked up to her at the station she was at and asked her out to dinner sometime. I didn't realize she had been wearing headphones. She took them off and asked if I was waiting on the station. My courage left. I said yes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 710

You deserved it 4 918

Today, I received a package and excitedly tore it open. It was a specific dress I'd rush-ordered for an upcoming special event, but the company had sent me a size meant for a toddler. I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 635

You deserved it 109

Today, when I came home, my dildo was placed in the middle of the bed. I last put it in my drawer. I only live with my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 621

You deserved it 443