Nearly FMLs

By Nobody really gives a fuck about my birthday anyway. - 19/02/2022 07:17

Today, I'm spending my birthday alone at home because of the Omicron outbreak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 133

You deserved it 41

By Anonymous - 14/02/2022 07:18

Today, the girl I grew up with all the way to college, the one I hated, the one who always beat me up, the one I used to insult daily, the one I only spent time with because we had a friend in common, I asked her to marry me and she said yes. Guess love really is similar to hate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49

You deserved it 257

By Anonymous - 13/02/2022 07:21

Today, I tested positive for covid. I have my finals in a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 181

You deserved it 36

By jay1998 - 12/02/2022 06:53

Today, like every other day, I was disappointed to wake up. I have nothing to look forward to in this life. No friends no social network. Just loneliness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 165

You deserved it 55

By Anonymous - 12/02/2022 00:52 - United States - Verona

Today, I once again broke wind as I bent over to lift the toilet seat up. As I turn around and sit down, I nearly kill myself with my own toxic clouds. I don't know what I ate that caused this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77

You deserved it 96

By ShowingItOff - 10/02/2022 08:10

Today, I realised all of the jewellery by boyfriend has bought me for birthdays, Christmases and anniversaries all had gems cut and set in the shape of vaginas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 157

You deserved it 38

By needahobby - 06/02/2022 07:21

Today, I realized I've been on the FML site so long the "random" entries are starting to repeat. I need a hobby or get laid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108

You deserved it 114

By Anonymous - 06/02/2022 07:08

Today, I accidentally used the toothbrush I use to clean my bathroom sink with for my teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76

You deserved it 117

By Anonymous - 31/01/2022 00:42 - United States - Storm Lake

Today, I have finally admitted to myself that I like country music. #honkytonkwoman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60

You deserved it 148

By GregSaidMed - 25/01/2022 07:18

Today, I found out that just because you turn off the iPhone you stole doesn’t mean the owner won’t track it down. Apparently with the new iOS feature Find My iPhone is enabled even with the phone switched off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32

You deserved it 692

By Anonymous - 22/01/2022 01:09 - United States - Parsippany

Today, I'm in love with a girl I can't get, I have social anxiety, and I only have a month until I never see her again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 189

You deserved it 72

By Nonexistent immune system - 20/01/2022 07:55

Today, I’ve tested positive for Covid-19. Again. For the third time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 192

You deserved it 62

By mummy21 - 17/01/2022 06:24 - United Kingdom

Today I ripped my lovely £50 coat on barbed wire, what I only worn a hand full of times, ended up having to spend £10 to get it repaired, have to wait till Friday to pick it up, it’s only Tuesday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67

You deserved it 108

By Anonymous - 14/01/2022 05:31

Today, a tech came to repair my cracked phone screen. He told me to remove my case and took it to his van in my driveway to fix it. Thirty minutes later, he rings my doorbell and hands me my phone back. He says he fixed the screen but tripped and dropped it walking back to my house, and completely shattered the back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 228

You deserved it 23

By Anonymous - 05/01/2022 01:05 - Canada - Québec

Today, my girlfriend called off our plans to get married, all because I didn't “make enough time” while I was busy renovating the house for her parents to come over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 252

You deserved it 32

By awpoop - 04/01/2022 06:35

Today, I wanted to impress this cute guy at work by making fun of the awkward new girl at the office. My coworkers seemed to be laughing at my jokes about her and I thought things went rather well. Turns out, someone snitched on me to HR. I'm now suspended without pay. Oh, and the cute guy totally dislikes me now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36

You deserved it 750

By Anonymous - 02/01/2022 15:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, I realised my stupidity when I couldn’t light the dead lighter that I'd put on my charging mat because it was out of gas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35

You deserved it 124

By Edwin - 29/12/2021 06:21

Today, my trainer farted twice during the same uptraining sessions at my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 101

You deserved it 38

By The Fixer - 28/12/2021 06:22

Today, I was terribly proud to have fixed my PC motherboard by replacing some capacitors. It works just great, except that I lost one RAM card while waiting for parts. Welcome back fast PC, now slow due to only 2GB RAM. FML

I agree, your life sucks 95

You deserved it 59

By an_average_guy - 27/12/2021 01:01 - United States - Bellmore

Today, after more than 10 years it's clear I need to say goodbye to my lady. She no longer wants any physical intimacy, and that's just a deal-breaker for me I'd rather be alone by myself, than lonely living with someone. It's just wrong I'm bracing myself for her breakdown. I hate to do it, but it's a dead end now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 167

You deserved it 48

By Anonymous - 27/12/2021 06:59

Today, I was just getting over a very brutal case of Covid. Now I have the heaviest, messiest period I’ve had in years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 150

You deserved it 22

By Anonymous - 23/12/2021 08:02

Today, I tried to start a free trial on Skillshare (because I was bored af) but my mom wouldn't give me her card cause she thinks they are going to steal her precious money even though I'm only using it for a free trial. I argued with her for half and hour but she wouldn't budge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33

You deserved it 256

By Anonymous - 18/12/2021 04:35 - Australia

Today, I fell over and further tore an already torn muscle in my back. The back pain was just starting to lessen too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 158

You deserved it 25

By lukey101 - 15/12/2021 19:04 - Australia - Adelaide

Today, I couldn’t remember if I put detergent in the washing machine, so I put in another scoop just in case. Now there’s suds coming out of the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 90

You deserved it 138

By Anonymous - 15/12/2021 00:33 - Canada - Nanaimo

Today, I read on FML that a gay guy was on a date with a woman because he was tipsy and thought it was a dude, and I thought to myself, "Even gay men can get dates with women." FML

I agree, your life sucks 140

You deserved it 36

By Anonymous - 12/12/2021 00:21 - United States - Rexburg

Today, I’m making a list of family and friends to send Christmas cards to. I’m married and we have a 2 year old daughter. I’m afraid everyone is going to be expecting a pregnancy announcement in the card as well. We’re trying, it’s just not happening yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 105

You deserved it 42

By Anonymous - 06/12/2021 08:47

Today, I feel like I'm going crazy as I'm in a 2-year relationship with a guy who's 17 years older than me (I'm 23). He's a wonderful partner and I'm totally in love, but the age gap causes monthly, sometimes daily, shifts between wanting to have it all with him, and wanting to leave him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56

You deserved it 212

By man child - 03/12/2021 08:04

Today, it has been 7 years of me submitting FML’s. I don’t know what worse, that I’ve submitted so many of that none have never been featured. FML

I agree, your life sucks 149

You deserved it 75

By birthdaygirl - 29/11/2021 02:45 - Australia

Today, I spent my 25th birthday crying alone in my room with my baby, because no else seemed to care it was my birthday. My partner and I had a fight the night before and we haven’t spoken or seen each other since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 185

You deserved it 52

By baron steamer - 25/11/2021 09:30 - Turkey - Samsun

Today, I live in Turkey and the dollar has risen to 13 lira. Just turks understand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 103

You deserved it 42

Keywords

Dogs Transportation Accident Thanksgiving Cars Love Embarrassing Alcohol Awkward Animals Scary Work Annoying Pizza Health Healthy Lifestyle Miscellaneous Family Food Stressed out Parents Kids Confused Exhausted Relatable Thief Money Birthday Argument AITA

The Top

Today, I learned the meaning behind the phrase, "Love you long time". It's from the movie Full Metal Jacket, when a hooker comes in and says, "Me so horny, me love you long time." I've been saying this to my parents and people at school, having no idea what it really means for over 2 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 784

You deserved it 22 705

Today, as punishment for a prank, my girlfriend has banned all forms of sex, kissing, or touching for the foreseeable future. She’s also started stripping as soon as she gets home and walking around in just her thong, or sometimes even completely naked, just to make my suffering worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 713

You deserved it 2 512

The Top

Today, I went to an ATM to see how much money I had in my account. I put the card in. It never gave it back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 975

You deserved it 4 126

Today, I worked security by myself in an office, which meant I had to eat at the desk and wasn't allowed to leave. I got written up for my husband dropping off my lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 698

You deserved it 372

Today, I decided to treat myself to a pedicure ahead of my cousin's wedding. The woman doing my nails asked if I wanted my toe hairs trimmed. I was so taken aback and embarrassed that I said yes. They charged me extra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 574

You deserved it 14 006

Today, I tried to send my boyfriend a sexy picture. I took a close up picture of my face, and, trying to be sexy, had my naked body reflected on a mirror in the background. First thing he replied was, "Who the hell is that guy in the background?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 444

You deserved it 6 878

Today, a student set me on fire while I was lecturing my class about proper lab safety. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 348

You deserved it 2 126

Today, I put something up for sale online. I provided all pertinent information in the description, and I had about a dozen replies. From the questions they asked, I have to conclude that NONE of those people actually read the description. FML

I agree, your life sucks 645

You deserved it 78