Nearly FMLs

By Anonymous - 16/09/2022 11:08 - India - Delhi

Today, I feel that I should have had more money support from my parents, which I don't get. Though my life is all good, but with more fucking money, life would be little bit easier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26

You deserved it 277

By Anonymous - 13/09/2022 22:28 - United States - Quincy

Today, I shat myself at walmart, nothing too out of the ordinary for walmart to be honest, but, it was in front of my crush! Oh no, listen to my mixtape. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42

You deserved it 103

By Anonymous - 09/09/2022 07:42 - United Kingdom - Reading

Today, the Queen of England died. The world is definitely falling apart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41

You deserved it 95

By cerbgirl13 - 08/09/2022 01:39 - United States

Today, my life is so fucked up that I don't even know where to start, other than that my last three therapists didn't even want me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 124

You deserved it 33

By EpicOracle - 08/09/2022 07:31

Today, I realized I broke up with the only woman who loved me enough to deal with my moodiness. It's been two months and I regret it deeply. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20

You deserved it 149

By Anonymous - 31/08/2022 02:00 - Canada - Scarborough

Today, I reached the highest point of broke in my life, and nothing I try is working. I just keep losing and losing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 105

You deserved it 36

By Anonymous - 15/08/2022 06:55 - Nigeria

Today, of all the football clubs I could have supported, I’m a Manchester United fan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42

You deserved it 145

By Anonymous - 30/07/2022 02:13 - United States

Today, I was at the movie theater, and an attractive woman was working the concession stand. She was so beautiful, I accidentally tripped over my tongue and asked for cop porn instead of popcorn. I was so embarrassed that I left immediately. I don't think I'm ever going to a movie theater again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 257

You deserved it 86

By Anonymous - 28/07/2022 07:20

Today, it's my favorite grandpa's memorial. I live on a different continent and couldn't afford the flight ticket since he passed away 8 years ago, I couldn't even visit his grave, and never got to say goodbye. I miss him so much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 195

You deserved it 33

By R.I.P. - 28/07/2022 07:11

Today, at 10 days ahead of travelling nine hours to a small town to attend a cousin's wedding, that wedding was cancelled because there is an increase in Covid infections. My cousin's mother-in-law died of Covid this morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 133

You deserved it 19

By Stephen Tse - 26/07/2022 18:16

Today, I farted I was working out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67

You deserved it 39

By Anonymous - 14/07/2022 06:37 - Italy

Today, like any other day, I'm here on Fml to spend hours reading about everybody's shitty life, just to avoid thinking about mine and feel less lonely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 211

You deserved it 60

By Anonymous - 05/07/2022 13:10 - Philippines - Makati

Today, I had nothing to do, so I searched in Google what to do, which lead me into this website. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84

You deserved it 175

By Anonymous - 26/06/2022 02:08 - United States - Gladwyne

Today, and for years previous, my country is sliding headfirst towards becoming a Christian right-wing fascist dystopia, and I’m too poor to move away and powerless to do jack shit about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 275

You deserved it 156

By Anonymous - 26/06/2022 07:36

Today, I woke up with no rights to my body, and my prescription for birth control has been canceled by my insurance. Thanks SCOTUS. FML

I agree, your life sucks 235

You deserved it 104

By Anonymous - 20/06/2022 07:09

Today, the world has gone to shit. I am waiting for the end of the world to come and I hope it's soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 125

You deserved it 58

By Anonymous - 18/06/2022 07:22

Today, the guy I have been in love with for 6 months went on a date with my friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 150

You deserved it 63

By russian - 02/05/2022 07:31

Today, I was beaten up for being Russian and therefore “supporting the war.” I do not support the war in the Ukraine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 571

You deserved it 71

By Andy - 15/04/2022 08:04

Today, I got home from hospital after the apprentice on his first day shot me in the penis with a nail gun and I almost bled to death in the ambulance. And yes, I'm aware I "got nailed real good," so I'm hoping you can come up with a better joke than that Mr RichardPencil. I'm looking forward to it! FML

I agree, your life sucks 390

You deserved it 65

By Matt - 13/04/2022 07:29

Today, my mom called me and asked if I had seen her phone recently because she couldn't find it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 233

You deserved it 55

By Anonymous - 12/04/2022 08:23

Today, I tried submitting an FML to FML, but it never got posted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98

You deserved it 136

By dummy - 07/04/2022 06:59

Today, I realised it would be more fun to live in my online zombie game than in my real train wreck of a life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 175

You deserved it 55

By Anonymous - 26/03/2022 05:40

Today, I tried to give my daughter the sex talk, since she’s going to high school in September. I ended up learning a few things from her instead, and I’m married, with three kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 121

You deserved it 303

By Anonymous - 17/03/2022 06:49

Today, my mother always mistakes my birthday with my sister's birthday. I'm 31 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 249

You deserved it 49

By Fernando - 07/03/2022 06:36

Today, I planted some herbs in my indoor garden. 11th time's a charm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 212

You deserved it 67

By Anonymous - 25/02/2022 06:19

Today, I woke up to the news that Russia has invaded Ukraine and started dropping bombs. Here comes World War Three. FML

I agree, your life sucks 310

You deserved it 77

By Anonymous - 24/02/2022 01:11 - United States - Winter Park

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I was living at his house and he kicked me out with no where to go. I found a resort to stay in but who knows how long I’ll be here. He won’t talk to me at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 215

You deserved it 60

By Zac - 22/02/2022 07:38

Today, I just spent the last two weeks staying up late and getting up early to cheer the women's US hockey team, just to watch them lose the gold to a team that has a turkey's butt for a logo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 167

By Anonymous - 21/02/2022 07:00

Today, I learned that the only thing worse than having Covid is having Covid with horrible period cramps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 205

You deserved it 31

By Anonymous - 20/02/2022 00:58 - United States - Sterling Heights

Today, my dad said he wants me to get married when I'm 19. There is no way I'm getting married, and I'm so close to running away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 189

You deserved it 18

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I woke up to my stomach being torn up from the inside. Barely made it to the bathroom, but of course, it wasn’t the one in my room, where I could easily change my clothes after a quick shower. After running down all my new meds, I realized it had to be my new sleep aid. It was helping too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 861

You deserved it 140

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 500

You deserved it 15 061

The Top

Today, I used text-to-speech just so that I can hear "I love you" for once. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 217

You deserved it 7 593

Today, my girlfriend went on a date with her mechanic. She said it was to get discounts when she goes in for maintenance. Not only does she not see a problem with it, but she's probably getting discounts on other services too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 737

You deserved it 5 265

Today, my husband sent me a text before heading home from work. All it said was, "Need a fuck. Backed up to hell. You're about to shower face first in a fire hydrant." Love you too, hun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 016

You deserved it 6 026

Today, I drew a face on a balloon and pretended to make out with it. The balloon popped and shot to the back of my throat, where it got caught. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 804

You deserved it 71 734

Today, I was performing the classic 69 position with my girlfriend. I wasn't able to control it : I farted right into her nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 090

You deserved it 27 485

Today, my mother showed up to pick something up from my house. I was sleeping and before I knew it she was in my bedroom, jumping on my bed, saying hi to my ex-girlfriend who she thought was with me. It wasn't my ex, and I doubt that girl will ever want to hang out again after that awkward morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 282

You deserved it 199