Nearly FMLs

By jodie - 31/05/2021 04:49

Today, my daughter came home crying because she failed a spelling test. When I took a look at it, I saw that she’d written “sail” instead of “sale,” “pears” instead of “pairs,” and other such mistakes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61

You deserved it 12

By cookiemonster777 - 31/05/2021 01:02

Today, I overheard my mom telling her friends that “her life’s ambition is to ruin Katie’s life.” I’m Katie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 106

You deserved it 8

By theanswer97 - 31/05/2021 00:08

Today, as always, I can’t touch or walk past anything without knocking it down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51

You deserved it 17

By taishi - 30/05/2021 23:51

Today, my mom refuses to believe that I wash my hands or brush my teeth, ever. I’m 17 and I do those things compulsively. What have I ever done to make her think I’m that goddamn gross? FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 9

By Anonymous - 30/05/2021 21:40

Today, while out to eat, my mom was concerned that I don’t drink enough water so she told me we weren’t leaving until I drank the whole glass. I ended up spending the entire night peeing because the waiter kept coming by and refilling it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24

You deserved it 14

By Anonymous - 29/05/2021 10:53

Today, our washing machine broke. Just what I needed after I got fired yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79

You deserved it 10

By shit - 29/05/2021 04:43

Today, despite my nearly impeccable hygiene, flies still land on me on a regular basis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52

You deserved it 17

By Jellie - 28/05/2021 10:35

Today, I have been awake for over 27 hours, all because my boyfriend started a fight with me and has been ignoring my texts and calls. His reason? He "doesn't want to go roller skating with me." I do roller derby, and need to practice, but I get nervous doing it alone. He's considering breaking up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50

You deserved it 61

By Anonymous - 25/05/2021 15:45 - Canada - Brampton

Today, I just told my best friend that they forgot my b-day which was a few days ago. They ended up getting me a pencil. We've been best friends for 4 years now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25

You deserved it 14

By Anonymous - 24/05/2021 23:29

Today, I had to do the walk of shame with my boyfriend’s blanket and nothing more. His wife came home from work unexpectedly and caught us. She set my clothes, bra and panties and all on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24

You deserved it 352

By tim shibuue - 24/05/2021 03:07 - Uganda

Today, life is really a giant wave, going through the motions is honestly senseless and void. I wish I was never born. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76

You deserved it 22

By sadandalone - 23/05/2021 22:41

Today, I found out my boyfriend of 3 years is being unfaithful. I summoned the courage to confront him about it. His response and I quote: “Well what was I supposed to do? I was horny and you deprived me of sex for 9 months and just gave birth.” He was completely serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 28

By drey - 23/05/2021 20:34

Today, I got the COVID vaccine and had a wacky fever dream which made me think tylenol was completely off-limits. I spent the whole night in agony before coming to my senses and realizing that I should be taking Tylenol for the side effects. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43

You deserved it 18

By Anonymous - 23/05/2021 08:04

Today, I'm pregnant despite being on the pill. My husband hates children for reasons from his own childhood abuse, to the point he will leave a room if it has a child in it, so I’m afraid to tell him because I'm 100% sure my options will be either abortion or divorce with no compromise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56

You deserved it 9

By F-ed - 23/05/2021 04:14

Today, I asked out a girl who had previously admitted to liking me. She told me it would never happen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66

You deserved it 11

By Krystina - 22/05/2021 10:00

Today, not only am I dealing with a terrible hemorrhoid for the fourth day in a row, I have started having symptoms of a terrible UTI. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83

You deserved it 8

By Anonymous - 21/05/2021 14:34

Today my microphone might have not been muted while I swore out loud about something non-work related thinking it was muted. While in a work call with 6 other people including my manager... FML.

I agree, your life sucks 21

You deserved it 59

By Anonymous - 20/05/2021 19:47 - Germany - Ebersbach

Today I take my laptop to the bathroom and sit on the toilet with it. Why? It’s the only place where I get WiFi. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44

You deserved it 12

By manafire - 20/05/2021 03:44

Today, I learned that I used to torture animals as a kid. I have no memory of this, and the idea of hurting an animal nowadays makes me sick to my stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67

You deserved it 22

By kitty - 20/05/2021 03:16

Today, after class, I saw a phone and decided to return it to its owner. The owner showed up, pinned me against the wall, and cut my arm open with a switchblade, all for touching her phone. Not stealing it. Touching it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 101

You deserved it 4

By Anonymous - 19/05/2021 05:07

Today, I went on a family trip to Norfolk and while I was down there I met this cute guy but I was too shy to ask for his number and I ended up leaving without knowing his name either and I think of him all the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27

You deserved it 44

By The only yet least favourite child - 17/05/2021 00:41 - India

Today, my mother swore at me, threatened to kill me, tried to disown me, hit my eye and said I shouldn't have been born multiple times. Why? Because I told her I wanted some privacy in my room as I was feeling sad, which she interpreted as me not wanting her around. I'm only 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks 129

You deserved it 5

By Anonymous - 16/05/2021 05:14

Today i had sex with a guy who is in a 3 years relationship and i found out about this when i arrived home. i really thought i found the perfect guy for sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38

You deserved it 26

By mea - 15/05/2021 04:27

Today, after a whole year of eating nothing but fruits and vegetables, I ate a slice of cake on my birthday. None of my clothes fit anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64

You deserved it 29

By Gone ballistic. - 13/05/2021 04:59

Today, we're right now at the police station because the iPhone 12 I bought to my father as a present was stolen by some piece o' shit. Needless to say, I bought it three hours ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70

You deserved it 12

By Carolyn - 12/05/2021 17:02 - United States

Today I was at Walmart with my friend and she gave me a wedgie infront of a bunch of people. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 60

You deserved it 13

By Anonymous - 11/05/2021 10:18 - United States - Lubbock

Today, I found out that the person who stole $125,000 from our grandmother won’t be charged with anything and they won’t tell us why. FML

I agree, your life sucks 91

You deserved it 4

By Bhrugu - 11/05/2021 15:50 - India - Hyderabad

Today I realized. I'm a human calculator. What do I calculate? I calculate every single text before typing it, while typing it and for hours after typing it. Even the simplest text I feel will offend people. For no reason. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22

You deserved it 15

By raiden - 11/05/2021 08:52

Today, I got hot oil in my eye while cooking bacon. I wear glasses. This is not the first time this has happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39

You deserved it 10

By lady kind - 11/05/2021 08:45

Today, my mother called the police on my five year old daughter for drawing on a one dollar bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 107

You deserved it 7

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I found the purse that some asshat stole from my 15-year-old sister a few days ago. I found it in my now ex-boyfriend's closet. When I confronted him, he broke up with me for "invading" his privacy and kicked me out, without the purse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 686

You deserved it 4 010

Today, I made the mistake of taking apart and fixing a malfunctioning toaster in front of my five year-old. Two hours later, he tried to take apart a lamp that was plugged in. He shocked himself, broke the lamp, and set the carpet on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 386

You deserved it 242

The Top

Today, after a weekend of helping my sister-in-law move out of our house, vacuuming and mopping her bedroom and bathroom for her, scrubbing her walls and cleaning her shower, transporting her furniture, and getting her carpet professionally cleaned, to cover costs she offered me $14. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 685

You deserved it 5 300

Today, my girlfriend left me for her boss. The same boss who, two weeks ago, caused her to come to me crying because he was sexually harassing her at work. When I told her I'd intervene, she told me she'd handle it. I guess she certainly did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 697

You deserved it 2 464

Today, my husband taught our son how to pee while standing. His aim is as poor as my husband's, but I guess now they can blame their mess on each other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 557

You deserved it 1 812

Today, I was out enjoying my daily jog, when out of nowhere, a group of kids in a passing car pelted me with ketchup-filled water balloons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 066

You deserved it 4 275

Today, I texted everyone in my phone to remind them mother's day is tomorrow. Everyone including the boy whose mom died last year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 962

You deserved it 81 641

Today, I went to a job interview. At the end of it, after I had got the job, my new manager said, “See you soon.” I then accidentally replied, “You too, love you.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 442

You deserved it 391