Intimacy: A tale as old as time

A tale as old as time

By flopsy - 03/12/2010 16:19 - Australia

Today, I was about to lose my virginity. I couldn't get it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 418

You deserved it 11 365

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Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

No good

By :(( - 28/09/2013 21:24 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner, and have to leave in shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 442

You deserved it 8 033

Almost there

By fucksake - 05/10/2014 15:55 - Malaysia - Seri Kembangan

Today, at age 31, I was about to finally lose my virginity. As we tumbled onto the bed, an excruciating pain shot through my stomach. It turned out to be a hernia, and no, I didn't get laid in the end. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 330

You deserved it 4 684

By EliseV - 03/11/2014 18:56 - United States - Chino Hills

Today, I lost my virginity. In the middle of it, he just gave up and said he wasn't in the mood anymore. Then I had to listen about his past failed relationships for over an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 973

You deserved it 6 009

Not now!

By virgin - 25/11/2018 20:00

Today, I was excited because tomorrow I was going to lose my virginity. I just used the bathroom; I got my period. FML

I agree, your life sucks 450

You deserved it 123

By unsatisfied - 09/02/2010 03:33 - France

Today, I lost my virginity. It took all of 30 seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 464

You deserved it 5 362

By fuck you, Odin, FUCK YOU - 03/03/2014 22:35 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled off my underwear. She then made a face as if she'd just sucked on a lemon, and got up and left without a word. I haven't heard from her since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 323

You deserved it 9 621

By Nightshade823 - 10/11/2016 19:12 - United States

Today, I finally lost my virginity. I also found out the side effects of my antidepressants: It's hard for me to get it up, and I can't orgasm. When I finally got it up, I went so long, it ended with her saying, "Yeah, you should stop now, I'm numb." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 348

You deserved it 1 113

By mavrick127 - 29/09/2016 14:21 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I finally had the chance to have sex with my crush. Too bad I couldn't get an erection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 230

You deserved it 1 788

By Anonymous - 27/03/2013 16:54 - United States

Today, I almost lost my virginity at the age of 34. After years of putting off sex and waiting for marriage, the moment arrived. My new wife could't stop laughing at how small I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 133

You deserved it 11 758

By NotALuckyGuy - 07/04/2015 16:19 - United States - Columbus

Today, I lost my virginity in a porta-potty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 033

You deserved it 47 400

Emmy_m92 0

Friday 3 December 2010 19:21

Apparently, you couldn't rise to the occasion.

hondabikez 2

Friday 3 December 2010 19:21

it normal! it happens!

Comments

alexandrox 0

Saturday 4 December 2010 10:08

ur stupid

chewbacca69 0

Saturday 4 December 2010 10:53

no it isn't 52. just take viagra

thecarine78_fml 0

Saturday 4 December 2010 11:18

probably ok next Time you could have ask a little help to your girlfriend!

alexFYL 11

Saturday 4 December 2010 13:50

That's pretty common... don't worry about it, it's nerves. You'll get better.

Lisa89 3

Saturday 4 December 2010 14:25

Very common. You were just nervous. No big deal.

SouthernRebfl 0

Saturday 4 December 2010 14:52

sux for u! good luck tryin to ger her back

metaldeth 0

Saturday 4 December 2010 14:58

Just look at fishfanatics picture next time first dude! that really will help!

Bikrbum 6

Saturday 4 December 2010 15:08

Oh my that is a boner I mean bummer.

DRush_fml 12

Saturday 4 December 2010 15:18

that ******* sux!

jckbco 0

Saturday 4 December 2010 16:17

hey, that's a double FML... you're still a virgin too

Keywords

Money Health Kids Christmas You're fired Work Bodyshaming Customers Fat Am I overreacting? Social Media Love Facebook AITA Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Education Students Relatable Technology Mental health Romantic Break-ups Annoying Gross Ironic Argument Awkward Friends

The Top

Today, at work at an OB office, I heard a ruckus in the hallway before a very large woman burst into my room and tried to attack my very pregnant patient. Crazy lady is the wife of the pregnant lady’s baby daddy, who is nowhere to be found. I don’t get paid enough for this shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 499

You deserved it 64

Today, I was been accused of stealing lunches from the fridge at work. I’m a huge germaphobe and would NEVER eat someone else’s food, but because I’m the fattest one in the office, everyone automatically blamed me. Hashtag fatgirlproblems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 567

You deserved it 155

The Top

Today, my pharmacy was unable to fill my prescription for the only drug that works for an excruciating condition that I have. Only one company makes the drug and it's backordered for three months. I have one week left and then I’ll be forced into withdrawal. Without the drug, my life will be a living hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 004

You deserved it 150

Today, my social anxiety got so bad that my 12 year-old daughter had to get in the driver's seat to order from the drive-thru. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 774

You deserved it 2 858

Today, I accidentally decoded the system my parents use for talking about sex while I'm around. It's a substitution cipher, using literary references. As they're both literature professors, this has me perpetually grossed-out and wondering, "Are they really talking about Anne Frank, or anal fisting?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 061

You deserved it 2 550

Today, my baby kept me up all night, and I only got 3 hours sleep. Normal, right? He's not even born yet and I'm only 5 months along. FML

I agree, your life sucks 819

You deserved it 212

Today, my work directory was updated to reflect my recent promotion. Due to lack of space, they abbreviated the title. I'm now listed as "Sr Anal". FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 349

You deserved it 1 672

Today, my whole office is treating me like a pariah because I rejected the new guy who has autism. I have a history of being domestically abused so why should I date a guy who, by his own admission, loses his temper easily and attacks people? That’s right, I shouldn’t. FML

I agree, your life sucks 771

You deserved it 99